forum Your Personal Venting Space 3: Tokyo Drift

Started June 28, 2020 by @The-N-U-T-Cracker

tune

Alright, thanks Reed :) I think that makes sense, and I honestly can't really think of any other questions for you. Thanks for answering the questions I did have, tho, it really is appreciated

np mate
if you have anything else, feel free to dm me

Alright, will do. Thanks again

Mm… I don't want to go into detail because I'm currently forgetting already and really don't mind that coping mechanism for this, but a Very Bad thing happened last night with my mom, I've got scratches on my hand and fabric burn on the back of my neck, and I'm the one who ended up apologizing because I'm the one who got her that mad
again

I went right from excited and shit to a sprial and I hate it here
I know I won't relapse which is good but I just,,, don't feel good
I WANT TO SCREAM
but don't have the energy

No amount of anger towards someone gives you permission to physically harm them. Period.

I wish my parents would learn that
My dad says since my mom has Trauma from her childhood it's okay for her to be like this
Cause her dad was to her

Your mom needs therapy, not to hit a child

She refuses, and we can't even afford any for me. Everyone in my family really does, but we're probably not going to. The only reason I might is that I'm making a big deal out of going. No one else wants to. My father thinks it's a shame unless they agree with him.

man
I just had two people to basically the exact same thing to me which is so annoying

me: writes a fanfiction about a person struggling with bpd
some random commenter: You're misrepresenting bpd
Me, a person with bpd: -_-

me: writes a fic that takes place in an art school
someone: You didn't put any research into this
me, someone who goes to an art school that I based it around: -_-

R o u g h.

No amount of anger towards someone gives you permission to physically harm them. Period.

You say it Bec.

why do my hands always hurt fgshjkhg
i think i might have tendonitis or smth

if the pain is in your thumb, index, or middle, its likely carpal tunnel. If it's index, ring and/or pinky it's likely tendonitus. I also measure mine by how i can hold things. pain with gripping things, like carrying a bag, is carpal. Holding with the weight forced down against the palm, like holding a pet, is tendonitus. Or you can be extra lucky like me and have a mix of both plus some loose joint issues sprinkled in. Either way, treat with anti-inflammatory meds, compression, and heat (not cold).
_{*obligatory im not a doctor, this is just my wonderful life experience}

also cause i know u post art, try holding your pen with your index extended, use your middle and thumb to be the main grip. it takes a min to get used to but it can be very realxing on strained wrists and hands.

umm based on what you described it might be both…
also is it common for the inside of my wrists to hurt too?

Is it bad that I, an adult, intensely fear the idea of my mom calling my school/employer/etc because I was venting about something to her?
Not that she ever has actually called anyone to complain outside of high school, but it still worries me a lot.
Because in college, she has heard me complain, and will be like "what's your professor's name?"
Ma'am, that's for me to know and you to not care about. I'm 21 and have learned damn well how to pick my battles.
Also when I quit got let go from my job, I was so irrationally worried she was going to try to call someone from my place of employment and complain. And then she would found out I lied about being let go and that I'd actually quit.
And guess why I lied??? Because I knew she and other family members would give me shit for it.

Hhhh the friend correction for "family" is all too real for me

I'm gonna be sad to see the friend's corrections go tomorrow :(

Didn't they stay for a few days last year?

I'm really confused because my school is having a "prom" this year and the first girl I was going to ask (As a friend) found out that she could bring her boyfriend. My second friend isn't going because her family is nervous about how they will do COVID stuff (Respect her and her wishes). And I have one other friend that I kind of want to ask with like a really cheesy promposal but everytime I bring it up, she never gives me a clear answer about if she's going or not and I like if I do a promposal thing (She talked about how she's wanted one since freshmen year) But if I do one, then it might make her feel like she is forced to go with me and I don't want to do that. And i have thought about how she might just not want to go, but then she also might not want to go with me personally and I want to go, but I don't want to go alone and I need an answer from her because STUCO told us about prom 2 weeks (They told up this week) before it was going to happen! We literally have 1 weekend to get everything done. And I just hate wanting to force her to do it, but it's also our senior prom and I feel like it would be fun but I don't want to force her into doing something she doesn't want to do and I would literally have nobody else I could go with. Anyways, thanks for listening to my rant about freaking out over prom. I'm going to attempt (And fail) To get some sleep

Mom: Mack I’m not going yell
Press X to doubt

Is it bad that I, an adult, intensely fear the idea of my mom calling my school/employer/etc because I was venting about something to her?
Not that she ever has actually called anyone to complain outside of high school, but it still worries me a lot.
Because in college, she has heard me complain, and will be like "what's your professor's name?"
Ma'am, that's for me to know and you to not care about. I'm 21 and have learned damn well how to pick my battles.
Also when I quit got let go from my job, I was so irrationally worried she was going to try to call someone from my place of employment and complain. And then she would found out I lied about being let go and that I'd actually quit.
And guess why I lied??? Because I knew she and other family members would give me shit for it.

yeah, i felt that. one time i complained to my dad about a mess up my spanish teacher did and he got SO pissed and was trying to go up to the school and throw a fit and everything. he ended up not doing it because it happened to be a busy time and i tried so hard to talk him out of it. i just don't wanna be that person that's known for complaining to their parents about everything. she had just got out of the hospital with covid and plus it's her first year teaching, so i wasn't wanting to make a fuss. anyways yeah that's hard to deal with.

Shoutout to my family for forgetting I was vegetarian even though I've been one for a year and a half!
And I had to come home and make my own separate dinner, which feels really bad and bratty ✌
Although I know it's not my fault.

Every time I try to visit home, I'm reminded why I don't visit home 😭

I FEEL LIKE ABSOLUTE SHIT
FUCK
HELL BITCH
I WANT TO THROW UP BUT I CAN'T

People with BPD

Unbearable emotional dysregulation 🤝

People with ADHD

I'm sorry you're going through that, Reed. You've weathered this storm before, keep going.

I'm like literally sobbing
I feel gross and shit
both mentally and physically

i know what that's like, it's awful. i know you'll get through it though. one moment at a time, you're stronger than whatever you're fighting.

It's ok to sit in the pain. Do anything you can to make yourself comfortable. Make tea or cry into your biggest blanket if you can.

mm
have classes I have to be on
don't have any face cam ones for another two hours

i've been catcalled and clicked at multiple times today. dysphoria and distress are setting in