Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Pietyr: It's easy, I like to listen to all the loud noise you make together. I grew up very different, my home is very large and very cold and people hate each other quietly.
Sola: Growing up my only friend was a cow

@probablypolnareff

Jonah: I am not out of control! I'm a law-abiding citizen!
Harper: Really? Name one law.
Jonah: Don't kill people?
Harper: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

Nuko: [loudly ranting about something]
Kiko: WILL YOU QUIT SCREAMING?!
Nuko: What did you say to me, stronza?!
Kiko: I said stop screaming, assface!
Nuko: [yelling] ARE YOU TRYING TO SCREAM LOUDER THAN ME?!
Kiko: [yelling louder] I AM YELLING LOUDER THAN YOU!!
Nuko and Kiko: [yelling at each other incomprehensibly while everyone vacates the area]

Harper: Zen! What is the ONE thing I told you NOT to do?
Zen: Raise the dead..
Harper: And WHAT did you do?
Zen: Raise the dead…

Harper, to Zen: Sometimes I look at you and wonder, "How can someone be so perfect?"
Harper: And then you open your mouth and that illusion is gone.

Harper: I am not, you fucko
Jin, sadly: I'm not a fucko
Harper: You aren't, I was just mad

Harper: When I said “bring me back something from the beach,” I meant a seashell.
Zen, struggling to hold a seagull: Fucking say that then

Zepp: Talk dirty to me.
Quinn: The dishes
Quinn: You still haven't cleaned them, I have asked you to several times.

Harper: I'm having a child
Jin: Aww, congr-
Harper, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

Harper: Go take out the trash.
Zen: Already done.
Harper: Well, I didn’t see you do that, so- [tosses a full garbage bag at Zen]
Zen: You took this out of the dumpster?!
Harper: Look, don’t worry about all of that!

Harper: Drugs? No, thank you.
Harper: I only enjoy the natural rush I get from murder.

Haru: What’s the first thing you notice when someone tries to approach you?
Harper: The audacity.

Haru: How the hell do I talk to people
Zen: Stand in front of them and press A

@probablypolnareff

Zen: It’s really muggy out today
Harper: If I go outside and all our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m going to kill you.
Zen: [sips coffee from a bowl]

Jin: LOOK at these hands!
Jonah: I’m looking at ‘em.
Jin: I’M GOING TO KILL YOU WITH THEM!
Jonah:
Jonah: They’re kinda small.

Harper: Calm down Harper, don’t punch Zen, someday Quinn will do it for you.

Quinn: Your top reasons for getting married?
Harper: Firmly saying “That’s my WIFE!” and knocking someone out in one punch.
Quinn:
Harper: And love.

Quinn: So where is the little munchkin?
Harper: Little? No, you’re watching my son.
Jin: Sup.
Quinn: He’s like twenty years old! What-
Jin: Hey! I’m only nineteen, get it right!

Harper: Can I have these question mark stickers?
Zen: Why?
Harper: I wanna put them on stop signs.
Zen: Harper, NO!

Zen: I wasn’t done talking!
Nuko, walking away: I was done listening.

Zen: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I strong or weak?
Haru: Strong.
Zepp: Weak.
Harper: An idiot.

Quinn: I think it’s really nice that Jin feels comfortable enough to go to sleep with you guys around.
Quinn: He looks so peaceful.
Zen, Haru, Zepp, and Harper, pulling out a sharpie: And vulnerable.

@IonizationEnergy

Nolan, sobbing: please just call it toothpaste
Kalif: what's wrong with mouth sauce

Wes: Alright, come prepared for the ritual tomorrow, or else.
AJ: Or else what?
Wes: Ill break your legs again
Lyra: Again???

Wes: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?
Brooks: It isn’t smirking, they're imagining it.
Wes: Three of us saw it, Robby. How do you explain that?
Brooks: [points at Dante] Sleep deprivation. [points at Jade] Paranoia. [points at Kalif] personality disorder.

@Fairlyodd

Takeo, sobbing: please just call it toothpaste
Frost: what's wrong with mouth sauce

Rose: Last week I accidentally slept with your brother.
Alune: Really?
Rose: Unfortunately.
Alune: You accidentally slept with Wren?
Rose: Yes
Alune: Accidently?
Rose: Yes.
Alune: Did you trip??

Police Officer: You realize theft is a crime, right?
Varian: Please show me the law that says that.
Police Officer: [pulls up the law]
Varian: I’m not reading that.

Graham: I think it would be a good idea if you did this yourself.
Varian: We won't let you down!
Graham: You can't, I don't care.

Sana: What are yer opinions on kids, Kal?
Kallai: I don't know. I wouldn't kick one if I saw it.
Sana:
Sana: Kallai would you kick a kid-
Kallai: I just said I wouldn't.

Takeo: [sniffles]
Leaoni: Are you okay?
Takeo: [sniffles again]
Leaoni: [Awkwardly hugs him] Hey, if there's anything upsetting you, you can always come to me, okay?
Takeo: I have hay fever…
Leaoni: If you tell anyone about what happened here today I will not be so merciful.

Leaoni, texting: I'm sorry I'm going to be half an hour late, something came up.
Varian, still lying in his bed, forgot they were supposed to meet: you always do this

Frost: Kal? Have you seen my ice cube? I left it on the table like an hour ago but I came back and it's gone.
Kallai: haha, very funny.
Frost:
Kallai: Holy shit you're serious.

Marcello: [falls asleep on the couch]
Madam Margo: [affectionately wrapping a blanket around him, kissing his forehead] Goodnight, my dear. You mean everything to me.
[3 hours later, Marcello wakes up]
Marcello: h-
Madam Margo: Shut the fuck up you waste of oxygen.

Alune: Varian! What is the ONE thing I told you NOT to do?
Varian: Raise the dead..
Alune: And WHAT did you do?
Varian: Raise the dead…

@probablypolnareff

Zen: I've done a lot of dumb shit
Haru: I joined you in the dumb shit
Kiko: I recorded the dumb shit
Harper: I TRIED to stop YOU from doing the dumb shit SEVERAL TIMES

Nuko, being kidnapped: Wait! Will I need my toothbrush?
Kidnapper: Be quiet
Nuko: I’m assuming that means you’ll provide the toothbrush.

Zen, to Harper: You always say Haru and I are babies and we can’t do anything without your help. So today we’re gonna prove you wrong!
Haru: Yeah! We just need one thing…
Zen: Your help.

Dentist: Open wide
Haru: … :)
Dentist: Not your arms.
Haru: … :(

Yuna: Haru hasn’t replied to my confession letter… what if he doesn’t like me?
Yako: give him time
Haru, sobbing in his room with the letter in his hands: God I wish I could read

Haru: Do you think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?
Harper: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid

Nuko: Those candies you gave me? They sucked
Quinn: But you ate all of them
Nuko: [panicking] Y-Yeah I had to make sure they all sucked

@threesacult

Oh boy more discord quotes

Elias: You don’t need to be gay and do crimes, because it’s already a crime to be gay in 72 countries!

[Texting]
Dally: Wow, how do you type that fast?
Anthony, almost before Dally sent the message: Anxiety.

Cyrus: Everything’s a cat if you’re bad enough at biology!

Quill: I think I’m a millennial? I’m kind of on the line.
Perry: What the fuck is a mineral?

@probablypolnareff

Zen: Little did you know that Harper used to use ‘:3′ in emails?
Kiko: What the fuck
Harper: No.
Harper: No I didn’t, No I didn’t, No I didn’t, No I didn-
Zen: You did.
Harper: I didn’t.
Zen: You still do

Nuko: Why are you after a baby, you psychopath?!
Harper: Alright, you wanna know so bad? The baby stole my gun.
Nuko: Shut the hell up-
Harper: Listen, I was going to the store, they didn’t allow guns in there, I left it outside, and-
Nuko: What was so important that you had to leave your gun outside for ANYONE to TAKE?!

Harper: I have an idea.
Quinn: No murder.
Harper: I no longer have an idea.

Harper: You have friends and I envy that.
Kiko: You’re welcome to share my friends.
Harper: looks at Zen and Haru
Harper: I don’t want those.

Jonah, annoyed: I’m sorry I scattered teeth on your bed, I was trying to flirt

Yasuho: THERE’S A SPIDER!
Harper: SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO ME TO DO ABOUT IT?!
Yasuho: KILL IT!
Harper: YOU SAW IT FIRST! YOU KILL IT!
Yasuho: YOU’RE THE MAN!
Harper, wearing a wig: SINCE WHEN?!

Harper: And as we snuff out these candles, we too snuff you from this mortal world, you fucking wimp.
Nuko: Jesus Christ

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Ozzie: You don’t need to be gay and do crimes, because it’s already a crime to be gay in a solid handful of systems.

Texting
Imogen: Wow, how do you type that fast?
Eliot, almost before Imogen sent the message: Anxiety.

Jackson: I think I’m a millennial? I’m kind of on the line.
Mr. Flynn: What the fuck is a mineral?

@probablypolnareff

(ima do some incorrect jjba quotes for a while since i'm working on getting rid of some characters rn-)

[texting]
Rohan: Wow, how do you type that fast?
Koichi, almost before Rohan sent the message: Anxiety.

Giorno: [falls asleep on the couch]
Abbacchio: [affectionately wrapping a blanket around him, ruffling his hair gently] Goodnight, my friend. You mean everything to me.
[3 hours later, Giorno wakes up]
Giorno: h-
Abbacchio: Shut the fuck up you waste of oxygen.

Kakyoin, texting: I'm sorry I'm going to be half an hour late, something came up.
Jotaro, still lying in his bed, forgot they were supposed to meet: you always do this

Polnareff: What are your opinions on kids, Kakyoin?
Kakyoin: I don't know. I wouldn't kick one if I saw it.
Polnareff:
Polnareff: Kakyoin would you kick a kid-
Kakyoin: I just said I wouldn't.

Josuke: [sniffles]
Jotaro: Are you okay?
Josuke: [sniffles again]
Jotaro: [awkwardly hugs him] Hey, if there's anything upsetting you, you can always come to me, okay?
Josuke: I have hay fever…
Jotaro: If you tell anyone about what happened here today I will not be so merciful.

@NotSoBeautifulDiseaster

Sophie: Why would we wanna worship u anyways??
Elijah: Because I’m hot
Elijah: Because I’m tall
Elijah: And because I’ll break your kneecaps if you don’t

Charlie: shcheucefjwfheh
Tori:wtf Charlie
Terry: that was the ugliest keyboard smash ever
Terry:it’s supposed to be ‘skskskssksk’ you fucking cretin

Elise: That's not funny.
Jacob: I thought it was funny.
Elise: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

Elijah: Are you sure Darnell's even gay? They barely even looked at me.
Aaron: (Iwillkillyouandburnyourcrops look)

Elijah: Can I refill your drink for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
Charlie:Naw, I'm doing just fine, Eli.

Sophie: Wow, how do you type that fast?
Charlie, almost before Sophie sent the message: Anxiety.

Janice: [falls asleep on the couch]
Axel: [affectionately wrapping a blanket around him, ruffling her hair gently] Goodnight, my darling. You mean everything to me.
[3 hours later, Janice wakes up]
Janice: h-
Alex: Shut the fuck up you waste of oxygen.

_{_{_{plzsomeusemyquotesplz uwu}}}

@probablypolnareff

Polnareff and Kakyoin: Why would we wanna worship you anyway??
DIO: Because I’m hot
DIO: Because I’m tall
DIO: And because I’ll break your kneecaps if you don’t

Jolyne: That's not funny.
Jotaro: I thought it was funny.
Jolyne: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

Mista: Why are you smiling?
Abbacchio: What? Can't I just be happy?
Bruno: Giorno tripped and fell in the parking lot.

Koichi: I can't believe we're stuck in this room together
Yukako, swallowing the key: Truly unfortunate

Doppio: I can't go. Stress is bad for the baby
Risotto: What baby?
Doppio: Me.

Rohan: I've been feeling like we're not as close anymore, so I got us friendship bracelets.
Koichi: Oh, neat!
Rohan: [handcuffs them together] there you go

Narancia: I'm quick at math.
Fugo: Okay, what's 38 times 76?
Narancia: 24
Fugo: That's not even close.
Narancia: But it was quick

Rohan: Josuke, did you happen to hear my announcement?
Josuke: I hang on to every word.
Rohan: I'm going to assume that's sarcasm.
Josuke: Correct.
Rohan: So you didn't hear my announcement?
Josuke: I'm barely listening now

@NotSoBeautifulDiseaster

Matthew: I've been feeling like we're not as close anymore, so I got us friendship bracelets.
Sophie: Oh, neat!
Matthew: [handcuffs them together] there you go

Sophie: I'm quick at math.
Micheal: Okay, what's 38 times 76?
Sophie: 24
Micheal: That's not even close.
Sophie: But it was quick

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Quinn: shcheucefjwfheh
Talia: What the hell, Quinn?
Talia: That was the ugliest keyboard smash ever.
Talia: It's supposed to be ‘skskskssksk’ you fucking cretin.

Marisol: That's not funny.
Casey: I thought it was funny.
Marisol: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

@Fairlyodd

Lynn: Yesterday I overheard Leaoni saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Varian replying “Trust me.” and I have never moved from one room to another so fast in my life.

store worker: could Mr Alistair Graham please report to the front reception?
Graham, arriving at the desk: hello is there a problem?
store worker: [points towards Varian and Leaoni sitting next to the desk pouting] I believe they belong to you?
Varian & Leaoni: [simultaneously] we got lost :(
Graham: I didn't even bring you here with me-

Sana: I think Frost is in trouble.
Leaoni: Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.

Frost: Alune just told me this place is haunted. He’s such a wimp.
Takeo: Grab your shit, we’re leaving.
Frost: What? Why? Come on guys it’s not like this place is actually-
Sana: Alune didn’t come on this camping trip with us.
Frost: Oh.
Frost: OH-

Leaoni: I have a question I’ve been holding back a while now.
Sana: Then ask.
Leaoni: Aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you just want to go apeshit?

Alune, to Varian: Pick your battles.
Alune: Pick… pick fewer battles than that.
Alune: Put some back. That’s too many.

Takeo: I kinda need a hug but i would rather die than let anybody know I’m a human being that desperately craves intimacy.

Wren: You don’t need to be gay and do crimes, because it’s already a crime to be gay in a solid handful of systems.

Alune: Why would people worship you?
Varian, shrugging: Because I’m hot.

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Beck: I kinda need a hug but I would rather die than let anybody know I’m a human being that desperately craves comfort.

Lavinia: Why would people worship you?
Oleander, shrugging: Because I’m hot.

@cherryred

Parker: You keep hugging Sky when he's upset. Next thing you know, he's going to fall in love with you. Is that what you want?
Kat: [scoffing] Is that what I want?
Kat, into a megaphone: YES

Val: C'mon, how many times do I have to apologize?
Lukas: Once.
Val:
Val: No.

Jason: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, would you still be sober?
Parker: Yes.
Cassie: Maybe a bit tipsy.
Kat: Wasted.
Hunter: Dead.

Kam: I'm not mad, I just want to know why you two wanted fake IDs?
Simon: [mumbles]
Kam: What was that?
Val: …You need to be over 18 to hold the puppies at PetCo.

Frost: You'll never find a group who would go on such a stupid mission.
Parker, turning to Kat, Cassie, Jason, Hunter, and Sky: No, I will.

@NotSoBeautifulDiseaster

Skylar: Wow not even my mother can stop that and she could stop a train by frowning at it

Bonita: I had a crush on this guy when I was younger, he wasn't real so it didn't work out

Sophie: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, would you still be sober?
Jax: Yes.
Matthew: Maybe a bit tipsy.
Lucas: Wasted.
Charlie: Dead.

Sophie: I have a question I’ve been holding back a while now.
Elliott: Then ask.
Sophie: Aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you just want to go apeshit?

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Geneva: C'mon, how many times do I have to apologize?
Victor: Once.
Geneva:
Geneva: No.

Edgar: You'll never find a group who would go on such a stupid mission.
Erik, turning to Oscar, Nathaniel, Percy, Douglas, Miette, and Aristotle: No, I will.

@Fairlyodd

Eunbyul: You'll never find a group who would go on such a stupid mission.
Wren, turning to Leaoni, Varian, Takeo, Sana, Frost, and Alune: No, I will.

Sana: Why are you smiling?
Takeo: What? Can't I just be happy?
Alune: Frost tripped and fell in the parking lot.

@Williamnot

Jarrod: Little did you know that Felix used to use ‘:3′ in emails?
Austin: What the fuck
Felix: No.
Felix: No I didn’t, No I didn’t, No I didn’t, No I didn-
Jarrod: You did.
Felix: I didn’t.
Jarrod: You still do actually

Austin: Why are you after a baby
Felix: Alright, you wanna know so bad? The baby stole my gun.
Austin: Oh, shut up-
Felix: No, listen, I was going to the store, they didn’t allow guns in there, I left it outside, and-
Austin: What was so important that you had to leave your gun outside for ANYONE TO TAKE

Grace: I have an idea.
Tess: No murder.
Grace: I no longer have an idea.

Felix: And as we snuff out these candles, we too snuff you from this mortal world, you fucking wimp.
Jarrod: Jesus Christ

@SpookyScarySnoteleks

Zoro: Words can't describe how handsome you are.
Sanji: Thanks!
Zoro: But numbers can.
Zoro: 2/10.
Sanji: …

@threesacult

Zephyr: Oh, hey, Drinn. What evil scheme are you up to this time?
Drinn: Why would you assume I have an evil scheme all the time? That’s offensive.
Zephyr: Well, do you have one?
Drinn: …Yeah. Wanna hear it?

Karma: You'll never find a group stupid enough to go on such a suicidal mission.
Emmett, turning to Quill, Cyrus, Dally, and Anthony: No, I will.

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Tabitha: Oh, hey, Kels. What evil scheme are you up to this time?
Kels: Why would you assume I have an evil scheme all the time? That is offensive.
Tabitha: Well, do you have one?
Kels: Yes. Do you want to hear it?

@RileyFundy

Walker: Man, the moon's pretty tonight!
Riley: WALKER THE MOON IS AN ALIEN YOU CAN'T TRUST IT DON'T LISTEN TO ITS DEMANDS
Walker: I just thought it was pretty!

@Williamnot

Jarrod: Yesterday I overheard Emily saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Felix replying “Trust me.” and I have never moved from one room to another so fast in my life.

Jarrod: I think Felix is in trouble.
Austin: Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.

Caecilius: I have a question I’ve been holding back a while now.
Austin: Then ask.
Caecilius: Aren’t you tired of being nice?
Caecilius: Don’t you just want to go apeshit?

Jarrod, to Austin: Pick your battles.
Jarrod: Pick… pick fewer battles than that.
Jarrod: Put some back. That’s too many.

Austin: I kinda need a hug but i would rather die than let anybody know I’m a human being that desperately craves intimacy.

Felix: You don’t need to be gay and do crimes, because it’s already a crime to be gay in a solid handful of systems.

@SpookyScarySnoteleks

Law: Yesterday I overheard Usopp saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Luffy replying “Trust me.” and I have never moved from one room to another so fast in my life.

Kid: You'll never find a group stupid enough to go on such a suicidal mission.
Law, turning to the Straw Hats: No, I will.

Law, to Luffy: Pick your battles.
Law: Pick… pick fewer battles than that.
Law: Put some back. That’s too many.

Estella: I'm quick at math.
Peregrine: Okay, what's 38 times 76?
Estella: 24
Peregrine: That's not even close.
Estella: But it was quick.

Azami: Everything’s a cat if you’re bad enough at biology!

@Fairlyodd