Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Azazel: I saw two elementary kids fighting, so I had to step in.
Quill: Oh, that's good-
Azazel: They didn't stand a chance.

Quill: Elias, I think I might like Perry.
Perry, in the distance: Hey, El! Let’s see who can fit the most marshmallows in their mouth!
Elias: …I have to say, I’m a little disappointed in you.

Ibis: I am, in fact, vanilla, but not like vanilla ice cream, more like that vanilla extract stuff that's just vodka with vanilla beans in it.

Dally: Sometimes we screw things up for the better.
Cyrus: That’s a good motto. We should use it.

Waiter: What can I get for you?
Poli: Can I get a milkshake with two straws, please?
Ellis: Aw, that’s so-
Poli, putting both the straws in his mouth: Watch how fucking fast I can drink this

Ibis: So, are we flirting right now?
Vio: I’m literally trying to kill you!
Ibis: That doesn’t answer my question.

Baby: Is crying
Anthony, picking up the baby: Shh, it’s okay. You’ll learn how to do that on the inside when you’re older.
Dally:
Dally: Dude, are you okay?

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Addie: Eliot, I think I might like Kay.
Kay, in the distance: Hey, Addie! Let’s see who can fit the most marshmallows in their mouth!
Eliot: …I have to say, I’m a little disappointed in you.

Oliver: I am, in fact, vanilla, but not like vanilla ice cream, more like that vanilla extract stuff that's just vodka with vanilla beans in it.

Joan: Sometimes we screw things up for the better.
Nich: That’s a good motto. We should use it.

Waiter: What can I get for you?
Percy: Can I get a milkshake with two straws, please?
Alessandra: Aw, that’s so-
Percy, putting both the straws in his mouth: Watch how fucking fast I can drink this-

Oleander: So, are we flirting right now?
Vivian: I’m literally trying to kill you!
Oleander: That doesn’t answer my question.

Baby: Is crying
Beck, picking up the baby: Shh, it’s okay. You’ll learn how to do that on the inside when you’re older.
Casey:
Casey: Dude, are you okay?

@NotSoBeautifulDiseaster

Random Guard: YOU CAN'T JUST WALTZ ON THIS LAND, THAT'S ILLEGAL
Amerly, Logan, Noelle, and, Blevin hold up passport: Tada!
Random Guard: Passports?! You entered here legally

Emma: So, I think I have feelings for you.
Elijah: (silence)
Emma: Like… I kind of like you.
Elijah: (moar silence)
Emma: I love you. I'm-I'm telling you I love you.
Elijah: (silence intensifies)
Emma: BITCH I'D STRANGLE A HUNDRED BABIES JUST TO HAVE A SINGLE DAY WITH YOU!
(later)
Elijah: Yeah, I don't think so and that's why I'm best boy

Aaron: Forget what you saw or I'll North Korean your asses

Elijah: Do you want to keep the bunny or do you want to keep your kneecaps?

Terry: mayonnaise is spicy

Elijah: I saw two elementary kids fighting, so I had to step in.
Claire: Oh, that's good-
Elijah: They didn't stand a chance.

Micheal: This is the longest I've ever slept! I feel so refreshed! I can feel my body getting healthier!
Sophie: How long did you sleep?
Micheal: A full half an hour!

Darnell: About to be eaten by a flower monster
Elijah: I’d save him, but who am I to play a god?

Micheal, receiving his test back: I DIDN'T GAME ALL NIGHT TO GET A FUCKING B-

@SpookyScarySnoteleks

Azami: Sugar is the gay version of salt.
Sanji: …

@Fairlyodd

Wren: I am, in fact, vanilla, but not like vanilla ice cream, more like that vanilla extract stuff that's just vodka with vanilla beans in it.

Frost: Sometimes we screw things up for the better.
Takeo: That’s a good motto. We should use it.

Waiter: What can I get for you?
Leaoni: Can I get a milkshake with two straws, please?
Wren: Aw, that’s so-
Leaoni, putting both the straws in her mouth: Watch how fucking fast I can drink this.

Leaoni: So, are we flirting right now?
Zatian: I’m literally trying to kill you!
Leaoni: That doesn’t answer my question.

Miran, a baby: [Is crying]
Varian, picking up the baby: Shh, it’s okay. You’ll learn how to do that on the inside when you’re older.
Alune:
Alune: [Sighs] I mean you’re not wrong but-

@IonizationEnergy

Abraham: What does take out mean?
Quinn: Food
Fantasia: A date
Kalif: Murder
Dante: If you're a preying mantis, it could be all three

Lyra: Kalif can be…immature sometimes, sure.
Nolan: Sometimes? Remember that time he got excited because he found out he could drink two Capri Suns at once?
Kalif, holding three Capri Suns: Guys, you’re not gonna believe this!

Bristol: Sugar is the gay version of salt.
Izzy: …

Wes: Forget what you saw or I'll North Korean your asses

Kalif: So, are we flirting right now?
Xavier: I’m literally trying to kill you!
Kalif: That doesn’t answer my question.

Brooks, receiving his test back: I DIDN'T STUDY ALL NIGHT TO GET A FUCKING A-

Lyra: Go to the supermarket and get 3 cartons of milk. If there are apples, get 20.
Kalif: Got it!
[later]
Kalif, carrying 20 cartons of milk: Hey guys, I'm back! Quick, come help me, these are heavy.
Lyra: I didn't ask for 20 cartons of milk???
Kalif: But there were apples!

@NotSoBeautifulDiseaster

Teacher: Good morning
Kelly: Bad morning
(Thus Kelly had begun to lead a life of crime)

@sock

Himari: What would the chef recommend?
Server: Ma’am, this is McDonalds.
Chan: Please, excuse my friend, she isn’t accustomed to our traditions. What would the McChef recommend?

Ren: This is the longest I've ever slept! I feel so refreshed! I can feel my body getting healthier!
Zephyr: How long did you sleep?
Ren: A full nine minutes!

Chan, stuck in a candy machine: I'm the smartest person here
Elyas, entering the room: …Are you stuck in a candy machine?
Chan: I paid for a chocolate bar and I WILL GET MY CHOCOLATE BAR!

Lucas: I am, in fact, vanilla, but not like vanilla ice cream, more like that vanilla extract stuff that's just vodka with vanilla beans in it.

Waiter: What can I get for you?
Chan: Can I get a milkshake with two straws, please?
Himari: Aw, that’s so-
Chan, putting both the straws in his mouth: Watch how fucking fast I can drink this

Chan: So, are we flirting right now?
Lucas: I’m literally trying to kill you!
Chan: That doesn’t answer my question.

Zephyr: Must I "get a job" and "earn money?" Is it not enough just to eat fruit and love women…?

Elyas: Every time I think, I take 10 damage

Ren: If I could swing a really big sword, it wouldn't even matter if anyone loved me or not

Chan: Obsessed with the old lady in the convenience store I overheard say, "Well you know me, I can't resist a gnome"

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Ginny: Must I "get a job" and "earn money?" Is it not enough just to eat fruit and love women?

Vivian: If I could swing a really big sword, it wouldn't even matter if anyone loved me or not.

Teagan: Obsessed with the old lady in the convenience store I overheard say, "Well you know me, I can't resist a gnome"

@Fairlyodd

Leaoni: That's insane, but it's also, like, the eleventh most insane thing to happen to me today, so who cares?

Frost: I'm fine. I've decided to stop fighting it, and lean into the fact that I am an idiot.

Leaoni: That's weird, it's sunny outside.
Varian: Why is that weird?
Leaoni: Because a fucking storm is about to rain down on Frost after what he just did.

Graham: Anyway, I'm gonna go cry in the bathroom. Peace out homies.

Leaoni, planning a breakup: I'm gonna send her a text while she's sleeping that says 'we're done'.
Alune: Clear. Accurate. But do you feel like it's enough?
Leaoni: 'We're done. Goodbye.'
Alune, nodding in approval: Yes. That should do it.
Varian, watching in horror: You're both sociopaths.

Sana: I think Takeo is taking the news really well.
Takeo: [screams and punches a hole in the wall]

Zatian: We need to make sure no one else finds out about this.
Leaoni: Varian won't tell anyone if I ask him not to. I'll handle him, you take care of Kallai.
Zatian: But how to make it look like an accident?
Leaoni: I'm not saying murder. Just talk to him like a normal person.
Zatian: Right, even better, get him to tell me all his little secrets then if he tries anything we can destroy him.

Leaoni and Varian: [Bickering loudly]
Alune: Stop it both of you.
Alune: [Turning his spinny chair] Now you've done it.
Leaoni and Varian:
Alune: You've made me turn my chair.

@threesacult

Quill: If I could swing a really big sword, it wouldn't even matter if anyone loved me or not.

Cyrus: Must I "get a job" and "earn money?" Is it not enough just to eat fruit and love women?

Quill: Obsessed with the old lady in the convenience store I overheard say, "Well, you know me, I can't resist a gnome"

Anthony: That's insane, but it's also, like, the eleventh most insane thing to happen to me today, so who cares?

Cyrus: I'm fine. I've decided to stop fighting it, and lean into the fact that I am an idiot.

Quill: Anyway, I'm gonna go cry in the bathroom. Peace out, homies.

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Dima: That's insane, but it's also, like, the eleventh most insane thing to happen to me today, so who cares?

Vince: I'm fine. I've decided to stop fighting it, and lean into the fact that I am an idiot.

Kels: That's weird, it's sunny outside.
Imogen: Why is that weird?
Kels: Because a fucking storm is about to rain down on Pietyr after what he just did.

Beck: Anyway, I'm gonna go cry in the bathroom. Peace out homies.

Addie: I think Katya is taking the news really well.
Kels: Screams and punches a hole in the wall

Talia: We need to make sure no one else finds out about this.
Vince: Quinn won't tell anyone if I ask them not to. I'll handle them, you take care of Portia.
Talia: But how to make it look like an accident?
Vince: I'm not saying murder! Just talk to her like a normal person.
Talia: Right, even better, get her to tell me all her little secrets. Then if she tries anything we can destroy her.
Vince: No.

@Pickles

Parsley, staring at the mailman: I don't trust that man as far as you could throw him
Hunter: Actually the phrase is 'as far as I could throw him'
Parsley: No. I could throw him quite far. You are a shrimpy child

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Vivian, staring at Oleander: I trust that man as far as you could throw him
Iam: Actually the phrase is 'as far as I could throw him'
Vivian: No. I could throw him quite far. You, on the other hand, couldn't.

@threesacult

Tetra, staring at Poli: I trust that man as far as you could throw him.
Vio: Actually, the phrase is 'as far as I could throw him.’
Tetra: No. I could throw him quite far. You, on the other hand, couldn't.

@jupiter-sun-of-sweater-town

Jesse: I'm the smartest person here.
Phoenix: …are you stuck in a vending machine?
Jesse: I paid for my chocolate bar and I WILL GET MY CHOCOLATE BAR!

Delphinia: What would the chef recommend?
Server: Ma’am, this is McDonalds.
Jesse: Please, excuse my friend, she isn’t accustomed to our traditions. What would the McChef recommend?

Jesse: That's insane, but it's also, like, the eleventh most insane thing to happen to me today, so who cares?

Hex: I think Jesse is taking this news really well.
Jesse: [screams and punches a hole in the wall]

Jesse: Anyway, I'm gonna go cry in the bathroom. Peace out homies.

@threesacult

Emmett: Well, Jack broke the law first!
Love: Mhm.
Emmett: He stole my heart…
Love: It is still illegal to commit murder.

Cyrus: We need to get through this locked door. Quill, give me your credit card.
Quill: Here.
Cyrus, pocketing it: Thanks. Jack, force open the door.

Quill: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Dally: Aren’t you, like, sixteen?
Quill: I might die at thirty-two!

Anthony: I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Cyrus, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

@Starfast

Chloe: Is it okay if we stay with you tonight?
Allen: Of course. My door is always open.
Chloe: Is that why you don’t have any furniture?

Chloe: That's insane, but it's also, like, the eleventh most insane thing to happen to me today, so who cares?

Caleb: How do you deal with anxiety?
Gerard: I let it fuck me up and then go to bed.

Keyla: New year, new me.
Milo: New year, same me.
Milo: I'm perfect, bitches.

Gerard: This is the longest I've ever slept! I feel so refreshed! I can feel my body getting healthier!
Adelia: How long did you sleep?
Gerard: A full nine minutes!

Andor: I mean, it was all fun and games until I licked the power outlet
Ara:
Ara: You what-

Kit: I think Gerard is taking the news really well.
Gerard: [screams and punches a hole in the wall]

Ravina, staring at Milo: I trust that man as far as you could throw him
Garzlan: Actually the phrase is 'as far as I could throw him'
Ravina: No. I could throw him quite far. You, on the other hand, couldn't.

Kit: Don’t accidentally kill anyone.
Crispin: I’m not an idiot.
Crispin: I know how to do it on purpose

Ara: Why the fuck would you go big when you can go home?

Holly: I'd like to offer you some friendly advice.
Brian: I don't need your help.
Holly: Consider it unfriendly advice then, dipshit.

@Fairlyodd

Wedding Officiant: Okay, repeat after me
Graham: After me
Wedding Officiant:
Leaoni, whispering to Lynn: Are you sure this is the one you want?

Sana, giving Alune a pep talk: Don't let anyone else ruin your day!
Varian: Yeah! You gotta take matters into your own hands! RUIN YOUR OWN DAY!
Sana: No!

Takeo [hungover]: Please tell me I’m imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.
Frost: I would, but then I’d be lying to the king of all ducks.

Lynn: Varian, can I speak to you for a minute? In private.
Varian: Ooh, someone's in trouble. It's me. I don't know why I did that.

Frost: We need to get through this locked door. Takeo, give me your credit card.
Takeo: Here.
Frost, pocketing it: Thanks. Kallai, force open the door.

Lynn: I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Graham, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

Leaoni, staring at Frost: I trust that man as far as you could throw him.
Alune: Actually, the phrase is 'as far as I could throw him.’
Leaoni: No. I could throw him quite far. You, on the other hand, couldn't.

Leaoni: New year, new me.
Alune: New year, same me.
Varian: I'm perfect, bitches.

Varian: I mean, it was all fun and games until I licked the power outlet.
Alune:
Alune: You what-

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Nich: We need to get through this locked door. Samuel, give me your credit card.
Samuel: Here.
Nich, pocketing it: Thanks. Therese, force open the door.

Eliot: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Sola: Aren’t you like seventeen?
Eliot: I might die at 34.

Beck: I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Casey, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Alessandra: Is it okay if we stay with you tonight?
Anne: Of course. My door is always open.
Percy: Is that why you don’t have any furniture?

Percy: That's insane, but it's also, like, the eleventh most insane thing to happen to me today, so who cares?

Marisol: How do you deal with anxiety?
Beck: I let it fuck me up and then go to bed.

Kay: I mean, it was all fun and games until I licked the power outlet.
Kels:
Kels: You what-

@threesacult

Dally: New year, new me!
Jack: New year, same me.
Jack: I'm perfect, bitches.

@probablypolnareff

Luca: Dollie, would you please stop making everything into a Jojo reference?
Dollie: Sure.
Luca: Thanks, I couldn't stand-
Dollie, now hiding on top of the fridge: What? A Stand?!
Luca: Goddammit.

Tamaki: So, wait…
Tamaki: This guy just breathes weird and then he gets sunlight power somehow?
Dollie: Yep.
Tamaki:
Tamaki: Can we try that?
Dollie, suddenly dressed up as Joseph Joestar: Hell yeah.
Tamaki: Holy fuck-

Dollie: I’M TOO HOT
Dollie: [looks over at Luca]
Dollie: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Dollie: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Dollie: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Luca: [sighs]
Luca, with a deadpan expression: Hot damn.
Dollie: CALL THE POLICE AND THE FIREMEN

@threesacult

Quill: I'm sad :(
Perry, nodding: Mood.

Elias: I’m in a horrible mood today, so everyone had better beware!
Elias:
Elias: Nobody recognizes my hints to smother me with affection.

Cyrus: How do I look?
Jack: Like an idiot.
Cyrus: Perfect.

Poli: I’M TOO HOT
Poli: [Looks over at Tetra]
Poli: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Poli: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Poli: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Tetra: [Sighs]
Tetra, with a deadpan expression: Hot damn.
Poli: CALL THE POLICE AND THE FIREMEN

Quill: Humans are inherently social-
Anthony: Oh? Then why am I so much happier alone?
Quill: Are you really, though?
Anthony:
Anthony: Shut up.

Dally: Wow, Quill, you're so polite.
Quill: Thanks, it’s the crippling anxiety!

Cyrus: Top hats imply the existence of a bottom hat.
Anthony: Cyrus, it's 2 AM, please-

Dally: What are the symptoms for teenage depression?
Anthony: Why are you asking me?
Dally: Because I saw Quill drop a sock, and she just stared at it and said “Why have the gods forsaken me”.

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Harper: Humans are inherently social-
Beck: Oh? Then why am I so much happier alone?
Harper: Are you really, though?
Beck:
Beck: Shut up.

Mr. Lowe: Wow, Victor, you're so polite.
Victor: Thank you, it’s the crippling anxiety.

Sybil: Top hats imply the existence of a bottom hat.
Ozzie: Sybil, it's 2 AM, please-

Carter: What are the symptoms for teenage depression?
Louis: Why are you asking me?
Carter: Because I saw Jack drop a sock, and he just stared at it and said “Why have the gods forsaken me”.

@jupiter-sun-of-sweater-town

Hex: We need to get through this locked door. Gracelyn, give me your credit card.
Gracelyn: Here.
Hex, pocketing it: Thanks. Alright, Aurelia, force open the door.

Jesse: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Martell: Aren’t you, like, fourteen?
Jesse: I might die at twenty-eight!

Jesse: I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Delphinia, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

Jesse: Don’t accidentally kill anyone.
Hex: I’m not an idiot. I know how to do it on purpose.

Clem: Wow, Finn, you're so polite.
Finn: Thank you, it’s the crippling anxiety.

Jesse: Hey, you wanna come over?
Phoenix: Sure! By the way I got bored at 6am and made you a sword.
Jesse: You what-

Jesse: I'm so tired I could eat a horse.
Phoenix: I identify as a horse and this offends me.
Delphinia: I identify as offends and this horses me.
Finn: I offend horses, identify me.
Gracelyn: Wait why would you eat a horse if you were tired??

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