forum Broken Dreams and Haunting Memories// Closed!// 16+

Started September 19, 2020 by @ElderGodSwimwithGamers group

tune

He merely shook his head again. Simon didn’t meet Astral’s gaze, he couldn’t even look in the man’s general direction.

Astral looked back down at the ground, so, so ashamed and horrified at himself.
"I'm sorry…"

“W-What did you do?” He asked, not seeing any way that this could get worse unless..his face paled, the thought hitting him. He…he hadn’t been on birth control ever since he’d been here… “A-Astral..y-you didn’t..” He was unable to say anymore, trying to force down the panic that was clawing it’s way up his throat.

Astral didn't say a word, that enough to give Simon an answer. His head fell lower, hands clenching some as tears fell onto them. His shoulders were shaking, too, because to get the only thing he'd ever truly wanted, he gave up the only person he'd ever truly cared about…

Simon started trembling, the tears finally coming. ‘No…there’s no way…this can’t be happening.’ His whole life he’d tried his hardest to avoid this from happening, and now that it had…he was trapped with Astral for sure.

Astral didn't try to say anything now, didn't try to do anything to help. How could he? How could he try to comfort Simon after what he did to the human? This was why he didn't want to tell Simon, this was why he'd done what he could, been preparing himself to do even more, so that Simon would never have to live through this…

Simon got down from the chair, not able to stay in the room with Astral anymore. He quickly made his way out of the kitchen. As he passed through the living room, it almost felt like the trinkets were laughing at him. He broke into what was almost a run, making it the rest of the way to what had become his room, closing and locking the door behind him.

(Me:… fuck what's the other character's name frantic back-paging)

Mia looked up when Simon came bursting into the room, her fake smile dropping.
"S-Simon…" The woman teared up some, standing on the bed with shaky legs. She felt horrible, because she couldn't tell him before, and now he was just so… lost.

((XD))

Simon didn’t even acknowledge her, too overwhelmed. He slid down to the floor, beginning to sob uncontrollably. He had run out of chances. He’d trusted Astral and now his life was over. He’d never be able to leave. He’d never get that chance to really feel loved.

Mia didn't say anything now, climbing off the bed with shaky hands. No, no, Simon couldn't give up now. There- there had to be something left for him… The doll made her way over silently, going to her own knees by his feet.

That’s all he’d truly ever wanted. He wanted someone who wouldn’t hit him, or rape him, and wouldn’t use the words ‘I love you’ as a weapon. That’s all he’d needed. But maybe..maybe his standards were just too high.

Mia hesitantly rested her head on Simon's leg, holding back her tears. She mumbled a silent apology to the man, just wanting to know what she could do to help. There had to be something, something, that could help Simon know he never deserved any of this.

It didn’t seem like there was, at least not at the moment. “W-why….why..” he mumbled under his breath, just feeling miserable.

"He…" What could Mia say? 'Don't feel bad, he's been like this forever? You just let yourself be taken in by someone more demon than god?' No, she couldn't. There was nothing to say that would answer Simon's question.

His questions wasn’t just about Astral either. It was for all of the guys he’d been with over the years. He’d always been told what happened was his fault. So he’d kept trying to fix himself, to be better. But it kept happening, again, and again, and again. And he just couldn’t take it anymore.

Then there was Astral, who'd tried to tell Simon it was never his fault, and look where it had gotten the man. Mia was shaking some, curled up with Simon. Nothing was okay, it wouldn't be ever again, would it?

It was also the fact that Astral had made him feel disgusting in a body he’d actually liked somewhat. That Astral had helped him transition and then done this…it made him sick. It did explain why Astral had waited so long on his bottom surgery though. Because he never intended on doing it in the first place. He was practically hyperventilating now, the room around him feeling much too small.

"S-Simon..?" Mia pushed herself up some, going over to place her hands on Simon's arm, growing even more terrified for Simon. He… no, no, she couldn't let him go through this alone.

“I-I’m f-f-fine.” He stammered out, barely loud enough to even be heard. He was having the same feeling as when he was wearing a binder for too long. Like an iron fist was squeezing his lungs and it was just so hard to inhale and exhale.

Mia could feel the tears welling up again, knowing Simon was lying. What should she do? Confront him about it? But what if he wasn't ready to come to terms with it yet? She trembled, still holding onto Simon as best she could.

Simon was in so much pain. And he didn’t know what to do, or how to make it stop, or if it would ever stop. Maybe he just wasn’t meant to be happy. He couldn’t stop himself from crying, right now he didn’t really want to. He just wanted to let all his pain out.

_{(I'm not crying your crying-)}

Mia leaned her head on Simon's arm, letting her own tears fall silently. She was so selfish, crying now when Simon was the one who had been hurt. Not just that- she'd stayed quiet, she hadn't told Simon anything as she watched him grow closer to Astral, hadn't tried to stop him… She was a horrible person.

_{((for some reason I haven’t cried yet but I cried so much planning it all out before))}

And it had to be today of all days when he found out…for once he thought he’d be able to stand in front of that grave tomorrow and feel like he’d made progress. That he’d done something worthwhile. But not anymore. Make no mistake, he would still be getting Astral to take him tomorrow. But after that, he’d avoid Astral like the plague.

_{(I managed to hold off most of the crying but now it's all hitting me ;-;)}

Mia slid down, huddled up against Simon's side. She had no idea Simon was going to leave for the next day, and she was expecting her and Simon to stay holed up here for as long as possible. She couldn't imagine Simon being able to go anywhere near the god for a long time.

Simon was grateful for Mia’s presence he just didn’t know how to express that right now. He’d continue to be in a state of panic full of loud sobbing and crying for maybe the next two hours. At that point his sobs would subside a bit, his mind slipping to a state of apathy, feeling nothing at all as tears continued to slide down his cheeks.

_{((Oof :/ yeah we’re gonna be getting into more of Simon’s backstory so be ready for more tears))}

_{(s h i t)}

Mia hesitantly looked up when she felt Simon's sobs slowing, still pushed against him some.
"S-Simon..?"

_{(( :) buckle up bitch, it’s about to get funky lmao))}

Simon didn’t respond, he didn’t even look in her direction. He just stared at the wall, tears continuing to fall. It didn’t seem like he was feeling well enough to leave this spot. And he most likely wouldn’t be sleeping for the entire night either.

_{(s h i t)}

Mia closed her eyes a shiver running down her back. No, now wasn't the time. So, she just stayed resting up against him, hands on his arm.

_{((When I said I’m giving him lots of trauma I meant lots of trauma :) ))}

Simon wouldn’t do much else for the remainder of the night. Of course at some point he got cold, and of course at some point the floor became ridiculously uncomfortable but he wouldn’t go anywhere near the bed. Not now that he knew what had happened there. Also the fact that everything in that bed still smelled like Astral. The entire time, he never stopped crying. Sometimes it’d get worse, and he’d begin to break down again, and sometimes he’d steady himself back out again. But he never stopped. Finally, morning rolled around, and Simon was trying to force himself to get up.