Chan: Consider the following:
Chan: Seatbelts. Except they throw you out of your seat and are called yeetbelts.
Elyas, vigorously searching through flashcards: What the fuck is a yeet
Chan: How do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?
Ren: A glass of water is an inanimate object and is therefore incapable of having a thought process or understanding of basic language.
Chan:
Chan: Water you doing?
Leaoni: Phel, I knight thee in the name of the father-
Alune: [waves]
Leaoni: The son-
Miran: [dabs]
Leaoni: And the unholy spirit.
Varian: [screeching]
Rose: [flirting with Alune]
Leaoni: You’re really quiet today, Varian.
Varian:
Varian: No one plans a murder outloud.
Varian: Guys, shut up, Madam Margo is on the phone!
Nova: Hey, pass the weed!
Leaoni: [fake moaning]
Frost: VARIAN, GET OFF ME!
Sana: Put your pants back on!
Madam Margo, over the phone: What the hell is going on over there?
Varian: [speechless]
Varian: Did you just hiss at me?
Alune: Yes. I do that when I hit my limit of stupid questions.
Leaoni, drunk: Excuse me, have you seen my girlfriend? I lost her.
Random person: What does she look like?
Leaoni: [crying] Beautiful.
Kallai: Calm down!
Varian: To quote Hamlet, Act III, Scene III, Line 92, ‘No’.
Sana: Frost, what did you do this time?
Frost: Nothing!
Sana: There you have it. He said he did nothing.
Leaoni: So I caught him red-handed doing nothing?
Varian: I keep saying things that annoy people.
Alune: Have you ever considered not saying anything?
Varian: Ha ha
Varian: [pulls out megaphone]
Varian: No.
Frost: How do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?
Alune: A glass of water is an inanimate object and is therefore incapable of having a thought process or understanding of basic language.
Frost:
Frost: Water you doing?
Varian: Consider the following:
Varian: Seatbelts. Except they throw you out of your seat and are called yeetbelts.
Alune, vigorously searching through flashcards: What the fuck is a yeet-
Frost: I think I will become a creature.
Sana: I concur.
Both: Scuttle
Sana: It's impossible to say the word “bubbles” and make it sound angry.
Leaoni: Oh yeah?
[Later]
Alune, rubbing his temples: Can someone please tell me why Leaoni has been screaming "bubbles" for fifteen minutes?
Blevin: Let's all have fun together
(3+ hours later)
Blevin: Come on. I'm waiting for your bankruptcy
Flonnel: We're playing monopoly
Lucas: chewing gum
William: Lucas, do you have something to share with the class
Whole class faces him
Lucas: What is this communism
Jacob: Why are you so down in the dumps
Jax: Oh you know the usual, I'm friendless, is emotionally stunted, I just figured out that Gary and Patrick are related, which kind of make Spongebob a slave owner in proxy
Noelle: I'm the leader because I'm red
Briar: That's burgundy
Noelle: BRIAR GET OFF MY DICK!
Hunter, possessing Sophie: Aha, now I have complete control over your body
Sophie: Well, that's kind of hot
Hunter: [immediately exorcises himself]
William: Raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimized by Elijah Lillian.
Kelly: raises hand
Everyone else: *raises hands
Jax: Oh, man, I will never forgive your ass for this shit. This is some fucked up, repugnant shit.
Alex: Son, did you ever hear the philosophy that once a man admits he's wrong, that he is immediately forgiven for all wrongdoings? Have you ever heard that?
Jax: Get the fuck out of my face with that shit! The motherfucker that said that shit never had to pick up itty-bitty pieces of skull on account of your dumb ass.
Ms. Taylor: So, Henry, do you have a girlfriend yet?
Jackson: Uh, actually, Henry is gay.
Ms. Taylor: What? Don’t say that, it’s rude!
Jackson: No, I-
Ms. Taylor: No excuses.
Henry: Carol, I am literally a homosexual.
Samuel: One time I was with a friend and- oh wait, that was you.
Nich: Yeah, I figured. You don’t have any other friends.
Alessandra, without looking up from her book: You look nice today, Oscar.
Oscar: Thank y- wait, how do you know? You didn’t even look up.
Alessandra: No, but I can hear Nathaniel's heartbeat and it doubled when you walked in.
Nathaniel: Chokes
Luci: Hey, Mr. Buttons!
Luci: I mean… my old calculator… which doesn’t have a name…
Azazel: I keep saying things that annoy people.
Quill: Have you ever considered just… not saying anything?
Azazel: Haha.
Azazel: [Pulls out megaphone]
Azazel: No.
Jesse: We all have 2 minutes to live, but we reset the clock every time we breathe.
Gracelyn: How long have you been awake?
Jesse: 37 hours, why?
Hex: Are you mad?
Martell: No.
Hex: So sharpening knives at 2am is just a hobby?
Gracelyn: Do you know why I came to you for help?
Hex: I assume you’ve lost a bet.
Clem: Are you getting enough sleep?
Jesse: Sometimes when I sneeze, my eyes close.
Jesse: Hey, Mr. Buttons!
Jesse: I mean… my old calculator… which doesn’t have a name…
Delphinia: You’re really quiet today, Hex.
Hex: No one plans a murder out loud.
Delphinia: Calm down!
Hex: To quote Hamlet, Act III, Scene III, Line 92, ‘No’.
Delphinia: Whatcha doin?
Jesse: Stealing my neighbor's cat.
Delphinia: Scandalous. Can I help?
Quill: You’re really quiet today, Jack.
Jack: No one plans a murder out loud.
Dally: Whatcha doing?
Cyrus: Stealing my neighbor's cat.
Dally: Scandalous. Can I help?
Love: Calm down!
Jack: To quote Hamlet, Act III, Scene III, Line 92:
Jack: ‘No’.
Anthony: Are you mad?
Cyrus: No.
Anthony: So sharpening knives at 2 AM is just a hobby?
Cyrus: Do you know why I came to you for help?
Tracey: I assume you’ve lost a bet.
Imogen: You’re really quiet today, Tabitha.
Tabitha: No one plans a murder out loud.
Oscar: What're you doing?
Marian: Stealing Nathaniel's cat.
Oscar: Scandalous. Can I help?
Teagan: Calm down.
Della: To quote Hamlet, Act III, Scene III, Line 92: ‘No’.
Shin: What are you doing?
Midori: Cutting off Ashe's arm.
Shin: Scandalous. Can I help?
Ashe: Shout out to people who have seen you naked but you can still have regular conversations with.
Midori: Shout out to people who can have regular conversations with you naked.
Shin: Shout out to being naked
Midori: Dude what the hell,,,
Midori: I hate it when people call their grandparents weird names instead of grandma or grandpa, like babooshka or salami.
Shin: I'm tellin' grandpa salami that you were talking shit- >:(
Shin: Shut up @ people who still say "science side of Tumblr."
Midori: Science side of Tumblr, why is this man so salty?
Ashe: Osmosis.
Midori @ Shin: What's with this… sassy lost child?
Shin: I got catcalled while I was walking the other day and I couldn't think of anything clever to say so I just made the most hideous shrieking noise possible.
Midori: How did they react?
Shin: I heard the guys in the car go "the fuck?"
Geneva: Shut up, people who still say "science side of Tumblr."
Jackson: Science side of Tumblr, why is this woman so salty?
Victor: Osmosis.
Kate: I got catcalled while I was walking the other day and I couldn't think of anything clever to say so I just made the most hideous shrieking noise possible.
Kristi: How did they react?
Kate: I heard the guys in the car go "the fuck?"
Ashe: Got called a lesbian in Walmart earlier, lads.
Midori: Tell us what happened, lad.
Ashe: I got called a lesbian in Walmart.
Midori: Ye, but why?
Ashe: I was being a lesbian.
Midori: In Walmart?
Ashe: Yeah, it was in Walmart.
Midori: I am the fries at the bottom of the McDonalds bag.
Levi: Maybe you go unnoticed at first, but someone's always thrilled to find you.
Shin: Truly inspirational.
Shin: eats four slices of pizza
Shin: I'm so full…
Shin: eats 4 more slices of pizza
Shin: I wanna be a reverse tooth fairy, where I rob people then scatter human teeth on their bed.
Midori: A dentist.
Levi: I don't know what your dentist is doing to you, but I think you need to go to the police.
Shin: How am I supposed to say funny things when nothing happens in my life at all?
Midori: You just use a story from the Sims and pretend it really happened to you.
Levi: One time, I was swimming but the pool ladders disappeared, so I couldn't get out of the pool and I swam for 10 hours, then died.
Saiki: Classic.
Shin: Make sure you chew your food properly, kids.
Shin: Also, make sure to screw in your tongue piercings tightly.
Midori: You swallowed a tongue piercing, didn't you?
Shin: I sure fucking did.
Midori: Imagine reading a book with the name of all of the guys that ever had a crush on you?
Shin: Why would I want a book with blank pages in it?
Shin: Plot twist; You are your crush's crush.
Levi: Unrealistic. Blocked.
Anthony: Shut up, people who still say "science side of Tumblr."
Cyrus: Science side of Tumblr, why is this man so salty?
Jack: Osmosis.
Cyrus: I got catcalled while I was walking the other day and I couldn't think of anything clever to say so I just made the most hideous shrieking noise possible.
Quill: How did they react?
Cyrus: I heard the guys in the car go "the fuck?"
Cyrus: Got called a lesbian in Walmart earlier, lads.
Jack: What happened?
Cyrus: I got called a lesbian in Walmart.
Jack: Yes, but why?
Cyrus: I was being a lesbian.
Jack: In Walmart?
Cyrus: Yeah, it was in Walmart.
Cyrus: Plot twist: You are your crush's crush.
Anthony: Unrealistic. Blocked.
Therese: Got called a lesbian in Walmart earlier, lads.
Nich: What happened?
Therese: I got called a lesbian in Walmart.
Nich: Yeah, but why?
Therese: I was being a lesbian.
Nich: In Walmart?
Therese: Yeah, it was in Walmart.
Darius: Plot twist: You are your crush's crush.
Jon: Unrealistic. Blocked.
jo: shut up @ people who still say "science side of tumblr."
catori: science side of tumblr, why is this man so salty?
nicky: osmosis.
cisco: remember that time you dared me to lick the swing set
kas: no, i said 'don't like the swing set' and you said 'don't tell me what to do'
kas: and then you licked the swing set
jo: it's just one of those things we'll never know. like what happened to the titanic
nicky: it hit an iceburg
jo: maybe.
catori: i relate to the phrase chillin' like a villain because it shows that i am calm but also ready to sin
vivienne: what's the fear of the supernatural called again
nicky: phasmophobia
catori: weakness
cisco: common sense!
nicky: catori, we need to talk about your will
catori: what about it?
nicky: literally all you said was 'bury me with seven extra bones to fuck with archaeologists lmao'
jo: there's a tree out there growing wood for your coffin
catori: bold of you to assume my body will be found
catori: it's nice to be wanted, you know?
vivienne, smacking her: not by the law!
nicky: what the hell happened?
jo, in the nurse's office: catori pulled a knife on me
nicky: and?
jo: and i said 'what are you gonna do, stab me?'
nicky:
nicky: so she stabbed you
jo: she stabbed me
cisco: do you ever say anything encouraging
jo: i encourage you not to die
kas: in legally blonde, elle won her case because she was true to herself and dressed cute
jo: kas, this is real life, not an excellent movie
catori: arson?
catori: oh you mean crime brulee?
jo: you can't lose an argument if you end it with 'shut up, nicky'
nicky: yes you can
jo: shut up, nicky
everette(who got kidnapped): get kidnapped, you'll find out who your real friends are
aella, who did not take everette getting kidnapped very well: i feel like there are steps you could take before that
catori: i can't do that, it's against my moral compass
cisco: your moral compass is a fucking roulette wheel
Harper: It's just one of those things we'll never know, like what happened to the Titanic
Beck: It hit an iceberg.
Harper: Maybe.
Talia: I relate to the phrase chillin' like a villain because it shows that I am calm but also ready to sin
Geneva: Jackson, we need to talk about your will
Jackson: What about it?
Geneva: Literally all you said was 'bury me with seven extra bones to fuck with archaeologists lmao'
Della: There's a tree out there growing wood for your coffin.
Beck: Bold of you to assume my body will be found.
Georgie: Do you ever say anything encouraging?
Christopher: I encourage you not to die
Martha: In Legally Blonde, Elle won her case because she was true to herself and dressed cute
Jackson: Martha, this is real life, not an excellent musical
Joan: Arson? You mean crime brulee?
Midori: I can't do that, it's against my moral compass.
Levi: Your moral compass is a fucking roulette wheel.
Saiki, to the tune of The Final Countdown: It's a mental breakdown
Shin: starts playing the kazoo extremely off-key
Midori: Text posts are like children.
Levi: How so?
Midori: You delete the ones that don't succeed.
Levi: Midori, what the fuck-
Levi: Saiki, you're doing so well! I'm so proud of your attempts and how composed you are all the time!
Saiki, crying because he can't untie his shoe: Yeah, I think I'm doing really well.
Levi: Midori, we need to talk about your will.
Midori: What about it?
Levi: Literally all you said was 'bury me with seven extra bones to fuck with archaeologists lmao.'
Shin: There's a tree out there growing wood for your coffin.
Midori: Bold of you to assume my body will be found.
Midori: grabs a knife and stabs Shin
Shin: pulls out the knife, bleeding out Can I eat this?
Midori: NO-
Hex: People who still say "science side of tumblr" need to shut up.
Delphinia: Science side of tumblr, why is this man so salty?
Gracelyn: Osmosis.
Jesse: It's nice to be wanted, you know?
Gracelyn, smacking him: Not by the law!
Jesse: Do you ever say anything encouraging?
Hex: I encourage you not to die.
Delphinia: You can't lose an argument if you end it with 'shut up, Jesse'
Jesse: Yes you can.
Delphinia: Shut up, Jesse.
Gracelyn: Jesse, you're doing so well! I'm so proud of your attempts and how composed you are all the time!
Jesse, crying because he can't untie his shoe: Yeah, I think I'm doing really well.
Delphinia: Stop saying "I can't even" and start saying "I can even." Believe in yourself. Follow your dreams.
Jesse, squinting at what's behind her: Is that a flying lawn mower?
Delphinia: No, it's a lawn mower following its dreams.
Jesse: I'll pay someone $100 to stand at a distance at my burial and play "put that thing back where it came from or so help me" when they lower me into the ground
Hex: …
Hex: Sold.
Gracelyn: Is no one else concerned about the Charmin commercials where they're rubbing toilet paper on their faces?
Jesse, sweating nervously: You mean you don't do that?
Nich: You can't lose an argument if you end it with 'shut up, Samuel'
Samuel: Yes you can.
Therese: Shut up, Samuel.
Harper: I'll pay someone $100 to stand at a distance at my burial and play "put that thing back where it came from or so help me" when they lower me into the ground
Casey: …
Casey: Sold.
Emiko: You disgust me, leave
Kage: What's with this… sassy lost child?
Collin: I got catcalled while I was walking the other day and I couldn't think of anything clever to say so I just made the most hideous shrieking noise possible.
Unzari: How did they react?
Collin: I heard the guys in the car go "the fuck?"
Mikoto after learning that Kage's dad killed her uncle: Oh, man, I will never forgive your ass for this shit. This is some fucked up, repugnant shit.
Hikari: Naruhito-san, did you ever hear the philosophy that once a woman admits she's wrong, that she is immediately forgiven for all wrongdoings? Have you ever heard that?
Miko: Get the fuck out of my face with that shit! The motherfucker that said that shit never had to pick up itty-bitty pieces of skull on account of your dumb ass.
Collin: Boys turn on each other so quickly
Kage: You're right
Collin:
Kage: Wait, you were talking about betrayal
Cyrus: I wanna be a reverse tooth fairy, where I rob people then scatter human teeth on their bed.
Azazel: A dentist!
Cyrus: …I don't know what your dentist is doing to you, but I think you need to go to the police.
Love: Stop saying "I can't even" and start saying "I can even." Believe in yourself. Follow your dreams.
Jack, squinting at what's behind them: Is that a flying lawn mower?
Love: No, it's a lawn mower following its dreams.
Cyrus: I'll pay someone $100 to stand at a distance at my burial and play "put that thing back where it came from or so help me" when they lower me into the ground
Jack: …
Jack: Sold.
Dally: It's nice to be wanted, you know?
Anthony, smacking him: Not by the law!
Chan: You can't lose an argument if you end it with 'Shut up, Ren'
Ren: Yes you can-
Chan: Shut up, Ren
Ren: Elyas, you're doing so well! I'm so proud of your attempts and how composed you are all the time!
Elyas, crying because he can't untie his shoe: Yeah, I think I'm doing really well
Ren: Is no one else concerned about the Charmin commercials where they're rubbing toilet paper on their faces?
Zephyr, sweating nervously: You mean you don't do that?
Lucas: I'll have all the McNuggets with fries, and uh… what the fuck did you want?
Chan: You ;)
Lucas: You dumbass, there's 3 cars behind us, hurry the fuck up
Himari: I don't care if you don't like space puns - I like space puns
Himari: Comet me, bro
Chan: How far have you gone with a guy
Elyas: I went to the Imperial Palace with my dad once
Himari: Tooth fairies are a smaller and friendlier subspecies of the larger and much more hostile bone fairies
Ren: Thank you for the nightmares
Lucas: Being gay isn't a choice, it's a game, and I'm winning
Chan, zooming past him in a shopping cart: THINK AGAIN, TWINK
Elias: How far have you gone with a guy?
Quill: I went to Disneyland with my dad once.
Anthony: I'll have McNuggets with fries, and, uh… what did you want?
Dally: You ;)
Anthony: Dame, there's three cars behind us, hurry the fuck up-
Quill: I don't care if you don't like space puns — I like space puns.
Quill: Comet me, bro.
Freddy: How far have you gone with a guy?
Ozzie: I went to Disneyland with my dad once.
Alessandra: I'll have McNuggets with fries, and, uh… what did you want?
Percy: You ;)
Alessandra: Babe, there's three cars behind us, hurry the fuck up-
Theo: I don't care if you don't like space puns — I like space puns.
Theo: Comet me, bro.
Hanaki: Your 15009 ladybugs just came in. Let's release them
Eri: No, keep them in there, They'll be more efficient when they're starving
Hanaki: o_O
Hanaki: That's fucked up
Mikoto: I'm a failure
Hikari: No, you're not, you're great at making cups of tea
Asumi before meeting Minato: That girl is so cute I wonder what she's listening to
Song: SHOT AT A MAN AND TOOK HIS SHOES-(or just insert some or random song)
Hikari: I like Minato's tea because it tastes like burnt wood
Asumi: How do you know what burnt wood taste like
Hikari: [sips tea]
Asumi: I need an adult
Kosuke: I am an adult
Asumi: Owo
Asumi: I need a different adult
Hanaki:How are you feeling
Kage: Nothing, Therefore I am nothing
Hanaki: Dude that's deep
Eri: A'ight, so let's go through your charges; armed robbery, trespassing, bullshitting with shrines, Trash lyrics
Kage: What you talking about trash lyrics
Eri: In that poem
Kage: That's a crime
Eri: In the state of Kanto
Kage: THEM BARS WERE FUCKING CRISPY
Asumi when Kosuke use Unzari's power: Ah shit he got bars
Kage, feigning bravery: IDGAF if he got bars
Kosuke: Yeah I got a new mixtape coming out (named Why'd you leave, Little Flower)
Kage: That weak-ass mixtape ain't talking about shit
Kage: I hate him so much
Asumi: Then why are touching yourself
Kage: Should I be more concerned about the fact that getting off to my ex or that I'm jacking off in public?
Asumi: All of the above
Freya: How far have you gone with a guy?
Mizu: I went to Disneyland with my dad once.
Jocelyn: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.
Jacquelyn: That is the most hopeful thing I've ever heard someone say.
Freya: What if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
Mizu: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day-
Freya: Get out.
Freya: You wanna know the best thing about dogs?
Mizu: Sure-
Freya: The best thing about them is that you can act like something really good just happened and they'll instantly start celebrating too, and they have no idea what the context is, they're just always ready to party
Mizu: Facts.
Mizu: I have abs……………..solutely nothing.
Mizu: Wanna know my most vivid memory of high school?
Freya: Shoot.
Mizu: I remember asking my freshman bio teacher what he wanted to be when he grew up and he stared at me blankly and said "assassinated."
Freya: That sounds more like something you'd say, honestly.
Martha: You wanna know the best thing about dogs?
Geneva: Sure-
Martha: The best thing about them is that you can act like something really good just happened and they'll instantly start celebrating too, and they have no idea what the context is, they're just always ready to party
Geneva: Facts.
Anthony: Wanna know my most vivid memory of high school?
Cyrus: Shoot.
Anthony: I remember asking my freshman bio teacher what he wanted to be when he grew up and he stared at me blankly and said "assassinated."
Cyrus: That sounds more like something you'd say, honestly.
Quill: You wanna know the best thing about dogs?
Perry: Sure-
Quill: The best thing about them is that you can act like something really good just happened and they'll instantly start celebrating too, and they have no idea what the context is, they're just always ready to party
Perry: Facts.
Shin: Being gay isn't a choice, it's a game, and I'm winning.
Midori, zooming past him in a shopping cart: THINK AGAIN, TWINK
Saiki: I love when adults are like "If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?"
Saiki: Like… I'd jump off a bridge for fun. I hate myself.
Levi: Money can't make you happy.
Saiki: Well, it sure as hell ain't gonna make me SAD.
Shin: My computer screen is brighter than my future.
Midori: Sounds accurate.