Cyrus: I’M TOO HOT
Cyrus: Looks at Anthony
Cyrus: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Cyrus: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Cyrus: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Anthony: Sighs
Anthony, with a deadpan expression: Hot damn.
Cyrus: CALL THE POLICE AND THE FIREMEN!
Jack: Promise me you’ll be on your best behavior?
Azazel: Ah, I promised other people I’d be on my worst behavior. And I gave my word, so…
Bastian I’M TOO HOT
Bastian: Looks at Jaq
Bastian: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Bastian: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Bastian: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Jaq: Sighs
Jaq, with a deadpan expression: Hot damn.
Bastian: CALL THE POLICE AND THE FIREMEN
Tereza: It’s nice to be wanted for once, you know?
Pietyr: Not by the law!
Pietyr: Promise me you’ll be on your best behavior?
Tereza: Ah, I promised other people I’d be on my worst behavior. And I gave my word, so…
Imogen: At the very least, the Director can’t kill all of us.
Katya: Why can’t she kill all of us?
Imogen: Hmm. Good point.
Kristi: I’M TOO HOT
Kristi: Looks at Morgan
Kristi: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Kristi: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Kristi: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Morgan: Sighs
Morgan, with a deadpan expression: Hot damn.
Kristi: CALL THE POLICE AND THE FIREMEN!
Varian: Hey, Leaoni?
Leaoni: Yeah?
Varian: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it's on?
Leaoni:
Leaoni: Where's Frost?
Wren: Do you guys play any sports?
Varian: I run away from my feelings.
Zatian: Reaches over Leaoni to open the car door for her
Leaoni: Hugs Zatian
Zatian: That's not a hug I'm just grabbing the door for you.
Zatian: We're not - we're not there yet.
Frost: I'm gonna make another promise that I can't keep, and I'm gonna say that I’m a stone-cold bastard with ice in my soul and no joy in my face. And we're going to ignore the fact that I'm a giggly bitch who laughs at my own jokes.
Alune: Your legs look great in those jeans.
Varian, a smooth fucker: Thanks, you should see me without them.
Leaoni:
Kallai:
Sana:
Frost: Why would you take off your legs?
Alune: You can't kill me.
Wren: Maybe not. But I can cut the internet connection, and for you, it's the same thing.
Leaoni: Alune, why are you such a clean freak?
Alune: Look, just because my life is a dumpster fire that doesn't mean my workspace has to be.
Leaoni: What's wrong?
Frost: I got stabbed!
Leaoni: I'll get you some crackers.
Frost: I'm dying!
Leaoni: Fine, some peppermint too. Why you so needy, dang-
Kallai: Please stay behind at the inn where I know you'll be safe and can't cause any trouble while I go deal with the threat.
Varian "Do It For The Vine" Voss: Yeah, okay. Sure.
Chan: Ren, why are you such a clean freak?
Ren: Look, just because my life is a dumpster fire that doesn't mean my workspace has to be.
Ren: Please stay behind at the apartment where I know you'll be safe and can't cause any trouble while I go get the groceries.
Chan: Yeah, okay. Sure.
Chan: I’M TOO HOT
Chan: [Looks at Lucas]
Chan: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Chan: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Chan: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Lucas: [Sighs]
Lucas, with a deadpan expression: Hot damn.
Chan: CALL THE POLICE AND THE FIREMEN!
Himari: Do you guys play any sports?
Ren: I run away from my feelings.
Chan: I don't know how I managed to chip my tooth with a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened
Ren: I'm sorry, a turkey and what sandwich??
Alice: Why are you such a clean freak?
Victor: Look, just because my life is a dumpster fire that doesn't mean my workspace has to be.
Marisol: Do you guys play any sports?
Beck: I run away from my feelings.
Casey: I don't know how I managed to chip my tooth with a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened
Marisol: I'm sorry, a turkey and what sandwich??
Fantasia: Do you guys play any sports?
Jade: I run away from my feelings.
Kalif: It’s nice to be wanted for once, you know?
Lyra: Not by the law!
Abraham, talking about his parents: Well, you don’t get to choose your biological family.
Dante: You don’t get to choose your found family either. Saddle up, bitch.
Nolan: You can't kill me.
Xavier: Maybe not. But I can cut the internet connection, and for you, it's the same thing.
Hunter: Mama didn't raise no crook, but she did raise a felon
Theo: Who's nobody and why are they in every meme
Lucas: I thought I was dummy thicc but I was just dummy
The world is ending
Micheal: anyone want fritos
Mavis: Do you is want die
Theo: It all started when I was born
Elliott: I'm not a therapist and this is the nurse's office
Nich: Y'know those silly pranks you used to do in elementary school?
Joan: Like arson?
( @merry-crisis ily bitch)
Elias: Y'know those silly pranks you used to do in elementary school?
Perry: Like arson?
Dally: I don't know how I managed to chip my tooth with a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
Anthony: I'm sorry, a turkey and what sandwich??
Tetra: How do you feel about other kids your age?
Zephyr: They’re okay, I guess. If I saw one, I wouldn’t throw a rock at them.
Tetra: Why would you throw a rock at them?!
Zephyr: I just said I wouldn’t!
Cyrus: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Anthony:
Anthony: Bitch, what-
Anthony: Oh, Dally did the dishes?
Cyrus: How do you know I didn’t do them?
Anthony: Cyrus, last time all the knives were dirty, you cut your toast with a key.
Love: Don’t accidentally kill anyone.
Jack: I’m not an idiot.
Jack: I know how to do it on purpose.
Cyrus: You know, I bet my mom is actually really proud of what I’ve accomplished. She’s probably looking up and smiling at me right now.
Dally: Looking up?
Cyrus: Oh, yeah. She’s in hell for sure.
Therapist: How do you feel about other kids your age?
Beck: They’re okay, I guess. If I saw one, I wouldn’t throw a rock at them.
Therapist: Why would you throw a rock at them?!
Beck: I just said I wouldn’t!
Kay: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Tabitha: :[
Freddy: Oh, Ozzie did the dishes?
Sybil: How do you know I didn’t do them?
Freddy: Sybil, last time all the knives were dirty, you cut your toast with a key.
Imogen: Don’t accidentally kill anyone.
Tabitha: I’m not an idiot.
Tabitha: I know how to do it on purpose.
Titania: You know, I bet my sister is actually really proud of what I’ve accomplished. She’s probably looking up and smiling at me right now.
Oberon: Looking up?
Titania: Oh, yeah. She’s in hell for sure.
Frost: There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Takeo: It’s usually an oncoming train.
Frost: Could you just not try to kill my vibe for five seconds?
Alune: Why the fuck would you go big when you can go home?
Leaoni: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.
Varian: No it's my fault, I shouldn't have used my one phone call to prank call the police.
Leaoni: I'd like to offer you some friendly advice.
Alune: I don't need your help.
Leaoni: Consider it unfriendly advice then, dipshit.
Raiden: How do you feel about other kids your age?
Takeo: They’re okay, I guess. If I saw one, I wouldn’t throw a rock at them.
Raiden: Why would you throw a rock at them?!
Takeo: I just said I wouldn’t!
Takeo: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Wren:
Wren: Bitch, what-
Alune: Oh, Kallai did the dishes?
Leaoni: How do you know I didn’t do them?
Alune: Leaoni, last time all the knives were dirty, you cut your toast with a sword.
Alune: Don’t accidentally kill anyone.
Varian: I’m not an idiot.
Varian: I know how to do it on purpose.
Zatian: You know, I bet my mother is actually really proud of what I’ve accomplished. She’s probably looking up and smiling at me right now.
Leaoni: Looking up?
Zatian: Oh, yeah. She’s in hell for sure.
Geneva: I came. I saw. I said "fuck it".
Anthony: Why the fuck would you go big when you can go home?
Jack: I'd like to offer you some friendly advice.
Dally: I don't need your help.
Jack: Consider it unfriendly advice then, dipshit.
Lucas: I'd like to offer you some friendly advice.
Chan: I don't need your help.
Lucas: Consider it unfriendly advice then, dipshit.
Ren: How do you feel about other people your age?
Chan: They’re okay, I guess. If I saw one, I wouldn’t throw a rock at them.
Ren: Why would you throw a rock at them??
Chan: I just said I wouldn’t!
Chan: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Lucas:
Lucas: Bitch, what-
Lucas: I came. I saw. I said "fuck it". I went home.
Oscar: I'd like to offer you some friendly advice.
Percy: I don't need your help.
Oscar: Consider it unfriendly advice then.
Kid: So you're telling me I'm on sicko mode
Hasuko: No I'm telling you, you have stage 4 cancer
Hasuko: What's your zodiac sign
Patient: Cancer
Hasuko: What a coincidence
Judge: I sentence you to jail for 68 years
Client whispers to Alex
Alex: My client requested for another year to be added
Frost: Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. Tonight. Imma fight. Til we see the sunlight. Tik Tok. On the clock. But the party don't stop. No-
Takeo: I'm literally begging you to stop.
Varian: Alune can actually open up portals, like anywhere. Watch this. He can do it….now!
Alune: [struggles]
Alune: I can't do it on command.
Varian: He can't do it on command.
Varian: But it is cool. Show 'em the eldritch thing, Alune!
Alune: [struggles]
Alune: I can't do it on command.
Varian: He can't do it on command.
Varian: But he can do so much more! Like….what else can you do?
Alune: Just those two things.
Varian: Just those two things!
Raiden: That's it! You're all grounded! Varian, no music for you. Alune, no tech for you. Sana, no surfing for you.
Raiden: And Leaoni…Oh my god. Is there anything that you love?
Leaoni: Revenge.
Raiden: No vengeance for you!
Leaoni: I was going to say "I'll get you for this", but I guess that's off the table.
Prof. Alden: That's it! You're all grounded! Eliot, no racquetball for you. Tabitha, no tech for you. Imogen and Kay, no gym time for you. for you.
Prof. Alden: And Katya…is there anything that you love?
Kels: Revenge.
Prof. Alden: No vengeance for you!
Kels: I was going to say "I'll get you for this", but I guess that's off the table.
Jackson: There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Geneva: It’s usually an oncoming train.
Jackson: Could you just not try to kill my vibe for five seconds?
Beck: Why the fuck would you go big when you can go home?
Ozzie: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.
Sybil: No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have used my one phone call to prank call the police.
Livia: How do you feel about other people your age?
Freddy: They’re okay, I guess. If I saw one, I wouldn’t throw a rock at them.
Livia: Why would you throw a rock at them?!
Freddy: I just said I wouldn’t!
Lyra: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.
Kalif: No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have used my one phone call to prank call the police.
Kalif: I'd like to offer you some friendly advice.
Xavier: I don't need your help.
Kalif: Consider it unfriendly advice then, dipshit.
AJ: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Izzy:
Izzy: Pardon?
Nolan: How do you feel about other people your age?
Quinn: They’re okay, I guess. If I saw one, I wouldn’t throw a rock at them.
Nolan: Why would you throw a rock at them?!
Quinn: I just said I wouldn’t!
Dante: You know, I bet my father is actually really proud of what I’ve accomplished. He’s probably looking up and smiling at me right now.
Abraham: Looking up?
Dante: Oh, yeah. He’s in hell for sure.
Fantasia: Oh, Lyra did the dishes?
Kalif: How do you know I didn’t do them?
Fantasia: Kalif, last time all the knives were dirty, you begged Lyra to do the dishes so you could cut your toast.
Estella: I’M TOO HOT
Estella: Looks at Peregrine
Estella: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Estella: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Estella: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Peregrine: Sighs
Peregrine, with a deadpan expression: Hot damn.
Estella: CALL THE POLICE AND THE FIREMEN!
Mihawk: Oh, Peregrine did the dishes?
Estella: How do you know I didn’t do them?
Mihawk: Estella, last time all the knives were dirty, you begged Peregrine to do the dishes so you could cut your toast.
Sanji: I'd like to offer you some friendly advice.
Zoro: I don't need your help.
Sanji: Consider it unfriendly advice then, dipshit.
Franky: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Sanji:
Sanji: Pardon?
Nami: There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Law: It’s usually an oncoming train.
Nami: Could you just not try to kill my vibe for five seconds?
Sanji: What's wrong?
Usopp: I got stabbed!
Sanji: I'll get you some crackers.
Usopp: I'm dying!
Sanji: Fine, some peppermint too. Why you so needy, dang-
Nich: Y'know those silly pranks you used to do in elementary school?
Joan: Like arson?( @merry-crisis ily bitch)
(:O ily too)
(trust me, that quote's even better in context)
Chan: I mean, it was all fun and games until I licked the power outlet
Ren:
Ren: You what-
Lucas: WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK
Chan: The news says it's more sanitary to sneeze into an elbow
Lucas: THEY MEANT YOUR OWN ELBOW
Chan: Hey, Ren, can I borrow your water bottle real quick?
Ren: Sure, but there's not much water left.
Chan: Oh, don't worry, I'm not going to drink it
Ren: Huh? What's it for then?
Chan: I set my room on fire
Ren: Oh okay
Ren:
Ren: Wait what-
Ren: Okay, go to the supermarket and get 3 cartons of milk. If there are apples, get around 20
Chan: Got it!
[later]
Chan, carrying 20 cartons of milk: HEY GUYS, I'M HOME!! QUICK HELP ME, THESE ARE HEAVY
Ren: I didn't ask you to get 20 cartons of milk???
Chan: But there were apples!
Lucas: I just saw two elementary kids fighting, so as an adult, I had to step in
Ren: Oh, that's good-
Lucas: They didn't stand a chance
Chan, half asleep: Maybe dogs lick us because they know there's bone underneath our skin
Ren: This has to be the worst thing you've said so far, thanks
Elyas: What does take out mean?
Chan: Food
Ren: A date
Lucas: Murder
Zephyr: If you're a preying mantis, it could be all three
Chan: Ren! Ren!
Ren: What's wrong
Chan: Lucas called me the b-word
Lucas: Motherfucker doesn't start with a b
Lynn: How do you deal with your emotions?
Varian: Well, I let them bottle up for years without expressing them.
Lynn:…Then?
Varian: And then I die? What kind of question is that -
Sana: It’s Christmas! Are you all feeling the Christmas spirit?
Alune: Merry crisis.
Leaoni: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.
Varian: HOE HOE HOE
Sana: Guys, please.
Leaoni: Okay, the Christmas tree is nearly set up. Where’s the star?
Varian: I got this.
Varian: [puts a picture of himself on top of the tree]
Lynn: What would the chef recommend?
Server: Ma’am, this is McDonalds.
Graham: Please, excuse my friend, she isn’t accustomed to our traditions. What would the McChef recommend?
Frost: [is drowning]
Leaoni: I’d save him, but who am i to play god?
Kallai: Don’t fear death, fear the state in which you will die.
Frost, quietly: Ohio…
Varian: Is it okay if we stay with you tonight?
Graham: Of course. My door is always open.
Alune: Is that why you don’t have any furniture?
Sana: Frost can be…immature sometimes, sure.
Leaoni: Sometimes? Remember that time he got excited because he found out he could drink two capri suns at once?
Frost, holding three capri suns: Guys, you’re not gonna believe this!
Leaoni: Hey, Alune, can I borrow your water bottle real quick?
Alune: Sure, but there's not much water left.
Leaoni: Oh, don't worry, I'm not going to drink it.
Alune: Huh? What's it for then?
Leaoni: I set my room on fire.
Alune: Oh, okay.
Alune:
Alune: Wait what-
Takeo: I just saw two elementary kids fighting, so as an adult, I had to step in.
Wren: Oh, that's good-
Takeo: They didn't stand a chance.
Varian, half asleep: Maybe dogs lick us because they know there's bone underneath our skin.
Graham: This has to be the worst thing you've said so far, thanks.
Alune: What does take out mean?
Graham: Food.
Varian: A date.
Leaoni: Murder.
Lynn: If you're a preying mantis, it could be all three.
Frost: Kal! Kal!
Kallai: What’s wrong?
Frost: Leaoni called me the B word.
Leaoni: Motherfucker doesn’t star with a b.
Quill: What does take out mean?
Dally: Food.
Anthony: A date.
Jack: Murder.
Cyrus: If you're a preying mantis, it could be all three!
Emmett: Don’t fear death, fear the state in which you will die.
Love, quietly: Ohio…
Cyrus: Dally can be…immature sometimes, sure.
Anthony: Sometimes? Remember that time he got excited because he found out he could drink two Capri Suns at once?
Dally, holding three Capri Suns: Guys, you’re not gonna believe this!
Dally: [Is drowning]
Jack: I’d save him, but who am I to play god?
Vera: What does take out mean?
Freddy: Food.
Ozzie: A date.
Sybil: Murder.
Vera: If you're a preying mantis, it could be all three!
Victor: Don’t fear death, fear the state in which you will die.
Jackson, quietly: Wisconsin.
Oberon: Robin can be…immature sometimes.
Titania: Sometimes? Remember that time they got excited because they found out they could drink two Capri Suns at once?
Robin, holding three Capri Suns: Guys, you’re not gonna believe this!
Aspen: Is drowning
Oberon: I’d save him, but who am I to play a god?
Jesse: Hey Gracie, can I borrow your water bottle real quick?
Gracelyn: Sure, but there's not much water left.
Jesse: Oh, don't worry, I'm not gonna drink it.
Gracelyn: What's it for then?
Jesse: I set my room on fire.
Gracelyn: Oh okay.
Gracelyn:
Gracelyn: Wait what-
Jesse: Go to the supermarket and get 3 cartons of milk. If there are apples, get 20.
Delphinia: Got it!
[later]
Delphinia, carrying 20 cartons of milk: Hey guys, I'm back! Quick, come help me, these are heavy.
Jesse: I didn't ask for 20 cartons of milk???
Delphinia: But there were apples!
Hex: I saw two elementary kids fighting, so I had to step in.
Jesse: Oh, that's good-
Hex: They didn't stand a chance.
Jesse: Del can be… immature sometimes.
Hex: Sometimes? Remember when she got excited because she realized she could drink two Caprisuns at once?
Delphinia, holding three Caprisuns: Guys you’re not gonna believe this-
Jesse: Quit it, you're acting like you're 12.
Hex: Oh, I am. On a scale of 1 to 10.
Jesse: This is the longest I've ever slept! I feel so refreshed! I can feel my body getting healthier!
Clem: How long did you sleep?
Jesse: A full nine minutes!
Gracelyn: Hex couldn't be here today, so he's being replaced by this puppet.
Delphinia: [applauds]
Jesse: This puppet smells weird and goes missing at convenient times, so it's the perfect stand-in for him.
Jesse: I wish I was a dinosaur.
Delphinia: Because they're big and strong?
Jesse: Because they're dead.