forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

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Quill: Seems like we won’t be able to daydream our way out of this one guys

David: don't you have to be stupid somewhere else??
Asbjorn: not 'til 4!
———————
Phoenix: hey Kira, gayguysayswhat?
Kira: i’m not falling for that-
Felix, from the opposite side of the court: WHAT? WHAT???
———————
Shohei: hey i love you
Kiyoshi: aw i love you too
Shohei: Hey, that’s what’s friends are for!
Kiyoshi: we’ve been married for 3 years, stop saying that
Shohei: No it’s funny
———————
Teacher: i've called you in today because your son is exhibiting bad behaviour in school-
Colton: And? he exhibits bad behaviour at home too, but do i ever call you?
Teacher:
Kevin:
———————
Tsuga: Hey, can you call me? i cant find my phone
Shohei: Yeah, one sec, let me find my phone
Tsuga: Ok, I’ll wait.
Shohei:
Shohei: I can't find it can you call me?
Tsuga: yeah one sec-
———————
Myer, plucking petals off a flower: he loves me… he loves me not
Myer: he loves me… he loves me not
Myer: he loves me… [plucks last petal] he loves me not…
Leopold, bursting in with an armful of various flowers and bouquets: that can’t be right, try again-
———————
Craig: What does this say?
Eric: “non omnes vagantes desunt”. It means “not all those who wander are lost”, I think.
Craig: You can read latin?
Jay: You can read???
———————
Fraser: You three, explain right now!
Dakota: It was Brook.
Benji: It was Brook.
Chester: It was Brook.
Brook:
Brook: …fuckin' snitches.
———————
Humour: Fuck, marry, kill– me, Generosity and Faith.
Loyalty: Marry you, fuck Faith and kill Ambition.
Ambition: I wasn't even one of the options???
———————
Fraser: So, do you like cooking too?
Herbert: Um… I made a cake once and-
Jude: Yeah, it was real good!
Herbert, surprised: Really??
Jude, whispering: Don't make me lie twice, Herb, I'm playing cupid here.
———————
Oliver, holding a bat: Aw you’re awake.
Asbjorn: wh..what.
Oliver: maybe next time.

Azami: Hey, can you call me? I cant find my Transponder Snail.
Luffy: Yeah, one sec, let me find mine.
Azami: Ok, I’ll wait.
Azami:
Luffy: I can't find it can you call me?
Azami: yeah one sec-

Jack: Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else??
Cyrus: Not 'til 4!

Quill: Hey, can you call me? I can’t find my phone.
Cyrus: Yeah, one sec, let me find mine.
Quill: Okay, I’ll wait.
Quill:
Cyrus: I can't find it, can you call me?
Quill: Yeah one sec-

Love: Fuck, marry, kill—me, Jack and Emmett.
Karma: Marry you, fuck Jack and kill Life.
Life: I wasn't even one of the options???

Koralia: I am above all of you
Koralia: My eagerness, ability, and knowledge triumphs over all of you
Koralia: I am more mature and advanced than–
Magnus: Hey Kora, your dinosaur chicken nuggies are ready
Koralia: NiCe

Tamaki: You get weapons. I get a hat
Tamaki: puts it on and disappears
Archer: Dude, you're invisible
Tamaki, sighing: Yeah, I'm used to it

---

Roeonn: summons a demon god
Demon God: YOU FOOL, YOU HAVE FREED ME. NOW I SHALL RIP APART YOUR PUNY HUMAN SOCIETY, DESTROY YOUR ARMIES AND THE ENFORCERS OF YOUR LAWS AND DEVOUR YOUR LEADERS AND POWERFUL CHAMPIONS, LEAVING CHAOS IN MY WAKE
Roeonn: Yes, good, get on it
Demon God: WAIT, WHAT
Roeonn: Get moving lazy, I didn't summon you to play fucking yahtzee

Oleander: Summons the Erl King
The Erl King: YOU FOOL, YOU HAVE FREED ME. NOW I SHALL RIP APART THE PUNY SOCIETY, DESTROY THEIR ARMIES AND THE ENFORCERS OF THEIR LAWS AND DEVOUR THEIR LEADERS AND POWERFUL CHAMPIONS, LEAVING CHAOS IN MY WAKE
Oleander: Yes, good, get on it
The Erl King: WAIT, WHAT
Oleander: Get moving, I didn't summon you to play fucking Yahtzee

Kat: Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else??
Barry: Not 'til 4!

Aspen: Fuck, marry, kill—me, Alys and Titania.
Poplar: Fuck you, marry Alys and kill Oleander.
Oleander: I wasn't even one of the options?

Acyn: What comes before anything? What have I always said is the most important thing?
Will: Breakfast.
Ilaria: Family.
Will: Family, right. I thought you meant of the things you eat.
_
Gaia: I've got a five year plan.
Kenna: Cool, I've got the next two and a half hours planned, and then, there's darkness.
_
Acyn: Caspian, please look me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth.
Caspian: You know I can't look at those eyes and be straight.
_
Kenna: Caspian will never agree to this plan.
Acyn: Sure he will!
Kenna: I've already asked him three times, he won't do it.
Acyn: Let me try.
Acyn: [Walks up to Caspian]
Acyn: Can we-
Caspian: Yes.
_
Tanith: Hey, Caspian, this is Gaia. She's my girlfriend.
Gaia: Hi.
Caspian: You couldn't find anyone better?
Tanith: Cas! Don't say that in front of her, that's rude.
Caspian: I was talking to her, actually.
_
Verena: Who broke the coffee pot? I'm not mad, I just want to know.
The Elite:
Acyn: I did it, I broke it.
Verena: No. No, you didn't. Kenna?
Kenna: Don't look at me, look at Eira.
Eira: What? I didn't break it.
Kenna: Huh, that's weird, how did you even know it was broken.
Eira: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken!
Kenna: Suspiscious.
Eira: No, it's not!
Caspian: If it matters, probably not, Will was the last person to use it.
Will: Liar! I don't even drink that crap.
Caspian: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Will: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that, Caspian!
Acyn: Okay, let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Verena.
Verena: No! Who broke it?
Eira: Dimitri has been awfully quiet.
Dimitri: Really? Oh my god!
The Elite: [Everyone screaming at each other, a few punches being thrown, chaos]
Verena to Sorin: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll all be at each others throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Sorin: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
_
Caspian: Where's Acyn?
Will: Well, he's small. He's probably under something.
_
Nakoa: WHAT DID YOU DO?
Orlaith: I SHAVED MY EYEBROWS!
Nakao: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
Orlaith: I DON'T KNOW!
_
Kenna: Good morning, the gods have let me live another day and I'm about to make that everybody else's problem.
_
Caspian: It's dangerous to go alone, take this-
Acyn: You're just holding out your empty hand?
Caspian: Exactly-
_
Nakoa after saving Kenna's life: Are you alright?
Kenna: Yeah, I think so.
Nakoa: WELL YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE, WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!
_
Ilaria: You ever think about how your skeleton is always wet?
Dimitri: I wish I never had, but thanks for ruining my life.
Ilaria: Don't worry! There will come a time where it isn't!
Dimitri: Thanks! Even worse!
_
Verena: I cannot believe I have to care for this stupid team of emotionally damaged, traumatized, impulsive, and dangerous teenagers.
Literally everyone: You don't have to. Actually, it would be better if you didn't.
Verena, rolling up her sleeves: No, I'm gonna.
_
Kenna: For the last mission, I had to go undercover.
Kenna: To make sure I wasn't recognized, I had to wear something so drab and uninspired-
Nakoa: Why do I feel like this is going to be a dig at me.
Kenna: I wore Nakoa's clothes.
Nakoa: There it is.
_
Verena: Oh, Acyn did the dishes.
Kenna: How do you know I didn't do them?
Verena: Because once when all the kitchen knives were dirty, I saw you slice a piece of bread with one of Eira's axes.
_
Kenna: I wasn't that drunk.
Dimitri: You came downstairs saying you were "dressed to impress".
Kenna: What was I wearing?
Dimitri: Nothing.
_
Kenna: Oh! Here's my award for best assassin and heir to the throne!
Nakoa: Kenna, that's an angry letter from the Winterbourne court asking you to please just turn yourself into the authorities because they literally cannot deal with your bullshit anymore.
Kenna:… well it says 'most' so I'm calling it an award.
_
Kenna: I'm invoking the "No Judgements" clause of our friendship.
Dimitri: What did you do.
_
Acyn and Caspian: [Having a steamy, romantic shower together]
Will: [pulls back the shower curtains]
Will: Are we- stop screaming, it's just me, are we out of chocolate?
_
Literally any of the Elite having a stupid and dangerous idea
Acyn: [Waking up in a cold sweat]
Acyn: Something is wrong.
_
Will: [Gets down on one knee]
Keres, tearing up: Oh my god, it's finally happening.
Will: [Ties shoelaces]
Keres: He finally stopped wearing crocs-
_
Will: I've decided to see Keres's threat against my life as her flirting.
Acyn: How are you still alive?
_
Kenna: Why are all my underwear in the freezer?
Dimitri: You said, "this is going to confuse me so much tomorrow" and put them in. Apparently drunk you likes to play pranks on sober you.
Kenna:
Kenna: That explains so much.
_
Will: Ouch, my armkle.
Caspian: Your what?
Acyn: His wrist.
_
Will: Are you ready to commit?
Keres:
Keres: Like… a crime or a relationship?
_
Will: I don't care what anyone says, the black cookie part is the best part of an oreo.
Asteria: Dark without light is an abyss, light without dark is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.
Will, visibly confused: Yo, socrates, it's a fucking cookie.
_
Will: [peeling a banana] May I take your jacket, lol.
Caspian: Do you think other people can't hear you?
_
Kenna after Dimitri died: Stop asking me how everything is going. I don't know, I'm ignoring it.
_
Will: No, you hang up first!
Will:
Will: Keres?
Will:
Will: Hello?
_
Will: [counting on his fingers]
Keres: I just asked how old you were…
Will: Can you just shut the fuck up for a second.
_
Eira: How come you have been abnormally nice to me?
Kenna: What do you mean?
Eira: You just seem nicer than usual.
Kenna: I can hit you if you want.

Nami: What comes before anything? What have I always said is the most important thing?
Azami: Breakfast.
Brook: Family.
Azami: Family, right. I thought you meant of the things you eat.

Azami: Torao will never agree to this plan.
Jax: Sure he will!
Azami: I've already asked him three times, he won't do it.
Jax: Let me try.
Jax: [Walks up to Law]
Jax: Can we-
Law: Yes.

Law: I cannot believe I have to care for this stupid team of emotionally damaged, traumatized, impulsive, and dangerous piratesHe says, as if he isn't an emotionally damaged, traumatized, dangerous pirate.
Jax: You don't have to. Actually, it would be better if you didn't.
Law, rolling up his sleeves: No, I'm gonna.

Azami: Why are all my underwear in the freezer?
Sanji: You said, "this is going to confuse me so much tomorrow" and put them in. Apparently drunk you likes to play pranks on sober you.
Azami:
Azami: That explains so much.

Literally any of the Straw Hats having a stupid and dangerous idea
Law: [Waking up in a cold sweat]
Law: Something is wrong.

Azami: Oh, Chopper did the dishes.
Zoro: How do you know I didn't do them?
Azami: Because once when all the kitchen knives were dirty, I saw you slice a piece of bread with one of your swords.

Victor: Oh, Jackson did the dishes.
Geneva: How do you know I didn't do them?
Victor: Because once when all the kitchen knives were dirty, I saw you slice a piece of bread with your pocket knife.

Austin: Felix has an insanely strong opinion on everything. Go on. Ask him something no one should have an opinion on.
Mel: Hey, Ara. what’s the worst multiple of 3?
Felix: obviously 12, you dumb bitch.
Austin: What the fuck? It's 18 you stupid ass
fighting ensues
_
Austin: summons a demon god
God of Violence: YOU FOOL, YOU HAVE FREED ME. NOW I SHALL RIP APART YOUR PUNY HUMAN SOCIETY, DESTROY YOUR ARMIES AND THE ENFORCERS OF YOUR LAWS AND DEVOUR YOUR LEADERS AND POWERFUL CHAMPIONS, LEAVING CHAOS IN MY WAKE
Austin: Yes, good, get on it
God of Violence: WAIT, WHAT
Austin: Get moving lazy, I didn't summon you to play fucking yahtzee

Mel: What comes before anything? What have I always said is the most important thing?
Austin: Breakfast.
Mel: Family.
Will: Family, right. I didn't sleep last night.
_
Normal Devil Town business owner: I've got a 2 millenia plan.
Felix: Cool, I've got the next two and a half hours planned, and then, there's darkness.
_
Austin: Felix, please look me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth.
Felix: You know I can't look at those eyes and be straight.
Austin: For fucks sake-
_
Austin: Where's Jarrod?
Felix: Well, he's small. He's probably under something.
_
Jarrod: wHAt did you DO?
Felix: I shaved my eyebrows.
Jarrod: Why would you do that?
Felix: I don't know!
_
Austin: Good morning, the gods have let me live another day and I'm about to make that everybody else's problem.
_
Felix: It's dangerous to go alone, take this-
Austin: You're just holding out your empty hand.
Felix: Exactly-
_
Mel after saving Austin's life: Are you alright?
Austin: Yeah, I think so.
Mel: WELL YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE, WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!
_
Felix: You ever think about how your skeleton is always wet?
Austin: I wish I never had, but thanks for ruining my life.
Felix: Don't worry! There will come a time where it isn't!
Jarrod: Thanks! Even worse!
_
Mel: I cannot believe I have to care for this stupid emotionally damaged, traumatized, impulsive, and dangerous teenager.
Austin: You don't have to. In fact, please don't.
Mel, rolling up her sleeves: No, I'm gonna.
_
Felix: For the last mission, I had to go undercover.
Felix: To make sure I wasn't recognized, I had to wear something so drab and uninspired-
Jarrod: Why do I feel like this is going to be a dig at me.
Felix: I wore Jarrod's clothes.
Jarrod: There it is.
_
Henry: Oh, Mel, thanks for doing the dishes.
Austin: How do you know I didn't do them?
Henry: Because once when all the kitchen knives were dirty, I saw you cut an apple with one of hatchets from the shed.
_
Felix: I wasn't that drunk.
Austin: You came downstairs saying you were "dressed to impress".
Felix: What was I wearing?
Austin: Nothing.
_
Felix: Oh! Here's my award for best god!
Austin: Felix, that's an angry letter from Kiren asking you to please just turn yourself into the authorities because they literally cannot deal with your bullshit anymore.
Felix:… well it says 'most' so I'm calling it an award.
_
Felix: I'm invoking the "No Judgements" clause of our friendship.
Austin: When did I sign this and what did you do.
_
Austin: [Taking a shower]
Felix: [pulls back the shower curtains]
Felix: Are we- stop shouting, it's just me, are we out of root beer?
_
Austin having a stupid and possibly dangerous idea
Mel: [Waking up in a cold sweat]
Mel: Something is wrong.
_
Felix: I've decided to see Austin's threat against my life as him flirting.
Kiren: How are you still alive?
_
Felix: Why is all my underwear in the freezer?
Austin: You said, "this is going to confuse me so much tomorrow" and put them in. Apparently drunk you likes to play pranks on sober you.
Felix:
Felix: That explains so much.
_
Felix: Ouch, my armkle.
Mel: Your what?
Austin: His wrist.
_
Felix: Are you ready to commit?
Austin:
Austin: Like… a crime or finishing a quart of ice cream?
_
Austin: I don't care what anyone says, the black cookie part is the best part of an oreo.
Felix: Dark without light is an abyss, light without dark is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.
Mel: Yo, Socrates, it's a fucking cookie.
_
Felix: [peeling a banana] May I take your jacket, hehe.
Austin: Do you think other people can't hear you?
_
Austin: Stop asking me how everything is going. I don't know, I'm ignoring it.
_
Austin: Look, I'm about to fall asleep and I don't have the energy to hang up, can you hang up?
Felix: No, you hang up first!
Felix:
Felix: Austin?
Felix:
Felix: Hello?
_
Jarrod: How come you have been abnormally nice to me?
Felix: What do you mean?
Jarrod: You just seem nicer than usual.
Felix: I can hit you if you want.

Austin: Be careful with my emotional baggage
Austin: It's designer

Vivian, after saving Oleander's life: Are you alright?
Oleander: Yeah, I think so.
Vivian: WELL, YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE!

Lyra: For the last mission, I had to go undercover.
Lyra: To make sure I wasn't recognized, I had to wear something drab and uninspired, so-
Dima: Why do I feel like this is going to be a dig at me?
Lyra: I wore Dima's clothes.
Dima: There it is.

Jackson: Has a possibly dangerous idea
Morgan: Wakes up in a cold sweat
Morgan: Something is wrong.

Oleander: I've decided to see Lavinia's threat against my life as her flirting.
Calla: How are you still alive?

Kate: Are you ready to commit?
Bee:
Bee: Like a crime, or like finishing a quart of ice cream?

Beck: Stop asking me how everything is going. I don't know, I'm ignoring it.

Oscar: How come you have been abnormally nice to me?
Beatrice: What do you mean?
Oscar: You just seem nicer than usual.
Beatrice: Huh. I can slap you if you want, I guess.

Andor: Ok, I need to focus.
Ara: Yeah same. I tuned you out like 5 minutes ago.

Brian: How come you have been abnormally nice to me?
Holly: What do you mean?
Brian: You just seem nicer than usual.
Holly: Huh. I can slap you if you want, I guess.

Gerard: Stop asking me how everything is going. I don't know, I'm ignoring it.

Jackie: Are you ready to commit?
Holly:
Holly: Like a crime, or like finishing a quart of ice cream?

Crispin: *Has a possibly dangerous idea*
Gerard: Wakes up in a cold sweat
Gerard: Something is wrong.

Jackie: Be careful with my emotional baggage
Jackie: It's designer

Andor: [peeling a banana] May I take your jacket, hehe.
Ara: Do you think other people can't hear you?

Andor: Why is all my underwear in the freezer?
Ara: You said, "this is going to confuse me so much tomorrow" and put them in. Apparently drunk you likes to play pranks on sober you.
Andor:
Andor: That explains so much.

Brian: [Taking a shower]
Holly: [pulls back the shower curtains]
Holly: Are we- stop shouting, it's just me, are we out of root beer?

Jackie: I wasn't that drunk.
Holly: You came downstairs saying you were "dressed to impress".
Jackie: What was I wearing?
Holly: Nothing.

Andor: For the last mission, I had to go undercover.
Andor: To make sure I wasn't recognized, I had to wear something so drab and uninspired-
Ara: Why do I feel like this is going to be a dig at me.
Andor: I wore Ara's clothes.
Ara: There it is.

Crispin: You ever think about how your skeleton is always wet?
Gerard: I wish I never had, but thanks for ruining my life.
Crispin: Don't worry! There will come a time where it isn't!
Gerard: Thanks! Even worse!

Kit: Where's Jarrod?
Leo: Well, he's small. He's probably under something.

Kit: I've got a 2 millenia plan.
Gerard: Cool, I've got the next two and a half hours planned, and then, there's darkness.

Milo: Oh! Here's my award for best soldier!
Garzlan: Milo, that's an angry letter from the Arribean Royal Family asking you to please just turn yourself into the authorities because they literally cannot deal with your bullshit anymore.
Milo:… well it says 'most' so I'm calling it an award.

Frank after saving Crispin's life: Are you alright?
Crispin: Yeah, I think so.
Frank: WELL YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE, WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!

Ara: Okay but like studying? Student-dying? It all makes sense now!
Dallas: …Are you okay?
Ara: I have been awake for 72 hours.

Holly: I've sent good vibes your way
Holly: They're coming
Holly: There's nothing you can do to stop them
Jackie:
Jackie: That's the most threatening way I've ever been cheered up

Dallas: Ara, aren’t you going to help us?!
Ara: To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene iii, line 92:
Ara: “No.”

Parker: Quinn, aren’t you going to help me?!
Quinn: To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene iii, line 92:
Quinn: “No.”

Arla: I've sent good vibes your way
Arla: They're coming
Arla: There's nothing you can do to stop them
Brook:
Brook: That's the most threatening way I've ever been cheered up

Parker: How come you have been abnormally nice to me?
Quinn: What do you mean?
Parker: You just seem nice for once.
Quinn: Huh. I can slap you if you want, I guess.

Jackson: You need to eat healthier.
Parker: Um… why?
Jackson: The last person I suggested that they changed their diet, died.
Parker: Oh my gosh-
Jackson: In a plane crash.
Parker: … That sounds unrelated.
Jackson: I'm the one who crashed it. Do not disobey me.

Some kid dressed as a dog: Trick or treat!
Jackson:
Arla: Well? Go on, give him the chocolate.
Jackson: I don't want to kill him, Arla!

Arla: But I want it…
Jackson: [On the way to the hospital] I said no.

Parker: This plan seems complicated.
Brook: To be fair, you once said that about oranges.
Parker: They don’t make any sense! Apples you eat their clothes, but with oranges you don’t!

[Everyone running in the room at the sound of the fire alarm, half asleep]
Jackson: What's going on!? Is everyone oka-
Arla: [Holding a sparkler under the fire alarm] Now that everyone's here, who drank the last of my chocolate milk?

Quinn, holding a bat: Aw you’re awake.
Parker: Wh..what!?
Quinn: Maybe next time.

Brook: I'm a piece of trash!
Arla: As someone who cares deeply about the environment, I'm obligated to pick you up. Is seven okay?

Kate: Be careful with my emotional baggage
Kate: It's designer

Carter: Why is all my underwear in the icebox?
Louis: You said, "this is going to confuse me so much tomorrow" and put them in. Apparently drunk you likes to play pranks on sober you.
Carter:
Carter: That explains so much.

Margot: For the last mission, I had to go undercover.
Margot: To make sure I wasn't recognized, I had to wear something drab and uninspired, so-
Therese: Why do I feel like this is going to be a dig at me?
Margot: I wore Therese's clothes.
Therese: There it is.

Cyrus: Yes, I'm in shape.
Cyrus: Not going to say which shape. But it is a shape.

Jack: Be careful with my emotional baggage
Jack: It's designer

Karma: ‘Back on my bullshit?’ Ha! I never got off!

Love: I’m not always crying!
Emmett: Yeah. Sometimes you’re asleep.

Quill: Can I please schedule this emotion for a later date

Nich: I wanna be tax exempt. That way I don't have to keep evading them.

Margot: Be careful with my emotional baggage
Margot: It's designer

Victor: I’m not always crying!
Geneva: Yeah. Sometimes you’re asleep.

Beck: Can I please schedule this emotion for a later date-

Azami, returning to Sabaody after 2 years: ‘Back on my bullshit?’ Ha! I never got off!

Azami: Yes, I'm in shape.
Azami: Not going to say which shape. But it is a shape.

Sabo: Dragon says to choose your battles.
Azami and Luffy: Well, we're choosing all of them.

Some kid dressed as a dog: Trick or treat!
Jax:
Law: Well? Go on, give him the chocolate.
Jax, tearing up: I don't want to kill him, Captain!

Jackson: ‘Back on my bullshit?’ Ha! I never got off!

Alec: Yes, I'm in shape.
Alec: Not going to say which shape. But it is a shape.

Some kid dressed as a dog: Trick or treat!
Barry:
Padma: Well? Go on, give them the chocolate.
Barry, tearing up: I don't want to kill them, Padma!

Pearl: Chae, please go with Kimmie today. Someone is going to say the wrong thing and she is gonna start a fight.
Chae: Sure, I'd love to see Kimmie fight.
Pearl: Try again.
Chae: I will stop Kimmie from starting a fight.

Astra: Milk or cereal first?
Khyung: Bowl.

Nari: Oh, fiddlesticks!
Kimmie: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.

Usagi: Knight, gave me a get well soon card.
Ash: Aww that's so sweet.
Usagi: I wasn't sick, he just thought I could do better.

Maeng: I will have the chef's salad please.
Chansung: Maeng, that's rude just order your own.

JJ: Can I go ride my heelys outside?
Elijah: Whatever, I'm not your father.
[JJ runs off]
Elijah: NOT ON THE STREET!

Damian: How are you?
Maestro, lifting his face from the carpeted floor: Great!

Casey: Milk or cereal first?
Beck: Uh, bowl?

Nell: Oh, fiddlesticks!
Nich: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.

Kate: I will have the chef's salad please.
Bee: Kate, that's so rude! Just order your own.

Harper: How are you?
Beck, lifting his face from the floor: Great!

(Found some of these, came up with others, stole a few from Emma)

Liam: aggressive poking
Liam: hey Chiara… I see you have some chocolate chips… you should put some in my hand… it’ll be a secret-

Fallon: I am performing wizard tricks.
Fallon: shoots you with a real gun, but in a wizardly way
Fallon: \( ͡°- ͡° )つ ︻̷̿┻̿═━一 ☆*:・ﾟ

Aquila: cutting the crusts off a sandwich
Lyra: What are you doing?
Aquila: Packing Fallon some lunch, it’s the least I can do to show my appreciation.
Lyra: Oh, does he not like the crusts?
Aquila: Nah, that’s his favorite part, I just ALSO want him to know he’s a biTCH-

Mica: Hey, my parents aren’t home…
Mica: You know what that means. :)
Chiara: You’ll hide from socialization in the living room instead of your room?
Mica: Yep.

                                  ~the balsam kids~

carlos: i hate nature. it's dirty. it's unhygienic. it's not cool. what is that smell-
von: that's grass.
carlos: disgusting.

---

once they're sorted into the cabins

grant: throwing stones at the cabin window
von: child you have a phone for a reason. i just bought you unlimited data

loud thump

von: did you just throw your phone

---

nameless camper a: woah dude, those are nice kicks.
nameless camper a: wait, where'd you get the money? aren't those designer?
nameless camper b: every time i approach von she gives me five dollars to 'fuck off'

---

von: hey i got you netflix
sidney: thanks! i know it's only eight dollars but i don't really have a job, cause i'm pretty much constantly stuck at the home, but i just felt like i'd been mooching off of em's account for so long-
von: wait, account?
sidney: yeah…? what did you think i meant?
von: i might have to go make a call
sidney: von?????? what did you buy?
von: netflix
sidney: oh my god. like…the company?
von:….no?

(Found some of these, came up with others, stole a few from Emma)

Liam: aggressive poking
Liam: hey Chiara… I see you have some chocolate chips… you should put some in my hand… it’ll be a secret-

Fallon: I am performing wizard tricks.
Fallon: shoots you with a real gun, but in a wizardly way
Fallon: \( ͡°- ͡° )つ ︻̷̿┻̿═━一 ☆*:・ﾟ

Aquila: cutting the crusts off a sandwich
Lyra: What are you doing?
Aquila: Packing Fallon some lunch, it’s the least I can do to show my appreciation.
Lyra: Oh, does he not like the crusts?
Aquila: Nah, that’s his favorite part, I just ALSO want him to know he’s a biTCH-

Mica: Hey, my parents aren’t home…
Mica: You know what that means. :)
Chiara: You’ll hide from socialization in the living room instead of your room?
Mica: Yep.

(I feel like the first one was from Emma, the second and last you made up, and the third you found)

Lord Arnol: I hate nature. It's dirty. It's unhygienic. It's bland. And what is that smell-
Edgar: That's grass.
Lord Arnol: Disgusting.