forum Big Brother: Gay Edition (MATURE, Enter at own risk!)

Started May 16, 2020 by @ElderGodSwimwithGamers group

tune

"Mhmm… I hope Nix will still listen to me… and Halm seemed so nice when I arrived… is he always like this?" He asked.

"He… He wasn't like this before," Zachary confirmed. "He'd treated me and my sister like his kids, but…" Zachary shuddered.

"I'm sorry… me being here had just made everything worse for all of you guys, hasn't it?" Cas asked, sighing shakily.

"No," Zachary said firmly. "Life may be different now, but it's not worse. You've done so much good for everyone here. Change comes with good, and bad, but that doesn't mean it's worse."

"But everything is worse… Halm was nice to you before I arrived… Nix wasn't so violent… none of you had to deal with me quite like this before."

"Halm was nice, but he was distant. You're the first person he's ever really cared for. And Nix must have always been this way. Now, he's just able to actually try to protect you." Zachary gently ran his fingers through Cas's hair.

Cas sighed, leaning into Zachary's hand and closing his eyes. "I just can't help but feel like this is all my fault…"

"It's really not," Zachary said gently. "You've done so much good…"

"Like what? How have I made literally anything better by being here?"

"You've given Halm something you care for," Zachary started. "So many have thought it impossible. And…" Zachary was quiet a moment. "You're in my life. And I wouldn't trade this for anything, even to get rid of the pain."

Cas sighed softly and huddled closer. "I-I just… everything bad that's happened has been my fault…"

"Everything good that's happened is your fault too," Zachary said quietly.

Cas buried his face in Zachary's shoulder. "I just feel so bad…"

Zachary carefully rubbed Cas's head.
"I'm sorry because of that," Zachary said gently. "You have nothing to feel bad about."

Cas sighed and nodded, clinging to Zachary. "I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused…"

"You're okay," Zachary said gently. "It'll… It'll be okay…"

"How do you know?" Cas asked weakly. "I'm gonna die again."

"Not for a long, long time," Zachary said quietly. "No one, no one would let that happen Cas."

Cas sighed softly, fidgeting a bit. "I-I just… I dunno anymore… I don't know if I want my memories…"

"Cas…" Zachary was a little heart broken by this, and it might have shown. If that happened, Cas wouldn't be… Cas. He'd have the same name, but it would be someone else.

"They just hurt so fucking bad… I don't wanna deal with them…" Cas hiccuped a bit, keeping his face hidden.

"Cas," Zachary said quietly. "Everyone… Everyone has painful memories. Even, even I do. And your's… They are worse than so many others, yes. But they made you who you are. And I…" Zachary trailed off.
"And I love yo-that."

Cas flushed red and buried his face in Zachary's shoulder to try and hide it. "I… I-I love you too…" He whispered almost inaudibly.

Zachary was shocked. Holy shit. He carefully nuzzled Cas's head.
"I…" He trailed off. "That makes me so happy," he mumbled quietly.

Cas quietly returned the nuzzles, still very flushed and a bit shaky. "I-I… um… I'm glad…"

Zachary held Cas close, rubbing his back gently. Normally, he would have kissed Cas, but… Yeah, that probably wouldn't happen for a while.
"Are you alright with this?" He finally asked quietly. "I know… I know you've been through a lot of horrible things with…"

Cas nodded a bit. "Y-Yeah, I… you… you're just gonna have to be careful with me…" He sighed softly.

"Always," Zachary said quietly. "I don't ever want to hurt you, Cas. And I'm never gonna do anything without you telling me I can, not ever. It's always your choice."

"Thank you… um… are there any questions you have? Any… um… important information that you don't have that you might want or need?"

Zachary shook his head a little.
"Nothing I can think of."