forum Big Brother: Gay Edition (MATURE, Enter at own risk!)

Started May 16, 2020 by @ElderGodSwimwithGamers group

tune

Cas sighed. "I just… I-I don't know what to do… I don't want you to have to live in fear, Zachary. Nix is my cat, and he was always so obedient… he might listen to me."

Zachary trembled a little.
"Exactly, Cas. He's a cat. I'm a fish. He's gonna… He's never gonna like me. Not when I'm with you…"

"But he was trained so well… he'll listen to me. I know he will!" Cas insisted, sounding almost desperate.

Zachary curled up a bit against Cas, which was a bad idea with his injuries.
"I… If you say… Just please, please, don't… Don't leave me alone with them…" Zachary sniffled again.

"I won't leave you alone with them, Zachary… I don't want them to hurt you again…" Cas gently kissed Zachary's cheek and huddled up with him.

Zachary's eyes shot open when Cas kissed him.
"No, n-no no! That's why they did this!" Zachary started trembling. "I-I… I lightly kissed your head on the couch, a-and they saw, a-and they don't want me to be closer to you like that!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to— n-no one saw, I'm sorry…" Cas pulled away, shaking from Zachary's sudden outburst.

Zachary was crying again, covering his face with his hands.
"P-please, no kisses…"

"I'm s-sorry…" Cas's eyes stung with tears as well and he started fiddling with his rubber band, feeling immensely guilty for upsetting Zachary so much.

Zachary eventually got himself under control again.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly, voice hoarse. "You couldn't have known. I… Please, don't feel bad." He looked at Cas, looking guilty himself.

Cas nodded, a single tear rolling down his cheek as he forced himself to pull his hand away from the band. He could push down the feeling now and deal with it later.

Zachary reached out, carefully wiping the tear away.
"Don't," he said quietly. "Don't do that. You… You need to deal with those feelings now, or they'll build up and build up until they burst out, and… And I don't want you getting hurt too, Cas."

Cas hiccuped a bit and nodded, hesitating before snapping the band against himself. He tucked his head under Zachary's chin as he continued, noticeably shaking.

Zachary carefully wrapped his arms back around Cas, rubbing his head gently.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you," Zachary said quietly. "I'm going to keep from don't it anymore, okay?"

Cas nodded weakly, snapping the band again as he cried into Zachary's shoulder. "I-I didn't mean to upset you…" He whispered, his voice breaking.

"I know," Zachary said gently. He reached up, hand resting on Cas's head. "Kisses…n they are usually a good thing, I know. And the I do appreciate the gesture, but… No more kisses."

Cas nodded again, hiccuping again. He enjoyed kisses, so he'd just have to learn to do without. Unless he could convince Nix and Halm to allow it…

"I'm sorry," Zachary said again softly. "The others… They don't think you're ready for anything that isn't platonic. I'm sorry…"

"Of course they don't…" Cas whispered weakly. "They don't trust me. They don't trust you. But I do, and… I-I don't think you'd try to do anything to me without my consent… I just… I need someone I can be close to like this. Someone who can hold me and hug me and kiss me when I need it. Nix is just overprotective because he had to watch my ex boyfriends as they treated me horribly, and at that point, there was nothing he could do… now that he's got the power to do something, he is."

Zachary gently moved his hand to run Cas's cheek gently.
"I don't ever want to hurt you, Cas. Never. And… I understand Nix's stance, I really do. He just wants to keep you safe too."

Cas nodded a bit, closing his eyes and leaning his head into Zachary's hand. "And… I-I don't blame him for being overprotective, but he took it too far. I didn't think he could be so violent…"

Zachary was quiet, his aching rubs agreeing.
"I know…" He sighed, keeping close to Cas now.

"H-He was always such a good cat… he was trained to protect me and comfort me… I-I just… I never knew that he was so angry all the time…" He whispered.

"He had to watch you getting hurt," Zachary said gently. "He couldn't do anything. He loves you, of course he's mad." He gently held Cas's closer despite his ribs protesting.

"H-He never trusted men as a cat either… he just… he couldn't do anything about it other than get all bristly and hiss. I know he did that first on the couch, but now he can talk, so he took it further… I guess that's what he always wanted to do to my boyfriends…"

Zachary nodded a little.
"He'll do anything to protect you, Cas. Even… Even kill me. The same with Halm."

Cas nodded weakly and sighed. "I d-don't want him to kill anyone, though… especially not you. I just want him to be happy… he and Halm have been getting along, and that's great, I just… don't want them to bond over torture."

Zachary closed his eyes a moment.
"I know. I know…" He trailed off, hiding closer to Cas with a wince.

"I just don't know how to get them to trust you and relax… I… I want to be able to hang out with you like this…"

"You'll find a way," Zachary says softly. "Because there's… There's nothing I could do. They hate me being close to you."