forum Big Brother: Gay Edition (MATURE, Enter at own risk!)

Started May 16, 2020 by @ElderGodSwimwithGamers group

tune

"Mhmm… any ideas? I'm just… I'm worried that he won't be able to come back from this…"

"I don't know," Halm said. He had been saying it so much recently. "That's why we're going to ask someone who does."

Nix nodded a bit. "When are we gonna do that?" He asked. "Soon?"

"Yes, soon," Halm said. "As soon as you're feeling okay again." They'd have to have Zachary watch Cas again, but that couldn't be helped.

"Mmkay…" Nix clung a bit tighter to Halm and sighed. "I might need a few minutes… sorry…"

"It's okay," Halm said gently. "You're health is important too, Nix. I don't want to rush you." He held Nix close, hand resting on Nix's head.

Nix nodded shakily, gradually beginning to relax under Halm's gentle touch. Eventually, he was just quietly huddled up in Halm's lap with his tail curled around himself.

Halm rubbed Nix's head as he relaxed, being so very gentle. He was gentle all the time, really. He was afraid of hurting either of the men under his care. He stayed still, looking down at Nix.
"How are you feeling?"

"About as good as I'm going to feel for a little while…" Nix sighed, relaxing into Halm's hand as he was pet. "Bit drained from crying, but I'll manage… I'm still not quite used to being the one crying."

Halm nodded, understanding. Crying can take a lot out of someone, especially when they aren't used to it.
"Do you think you'll be able to come with me to find a therapist?" He cupped Nix's head, still worried about him a little.

Nix nodded a bit, nuzzling into Halm's palm. "I wanna be part of the process… hopefully we'll have options so that we can find someone Cas is comfortable with."

Halm thought.
"I'm sure there will be," he said. He picked Nix up fully now, slipping off the bed. "We'll go get Zachary, then start the search, okay?"

Nix nodded and rested his head on Halm's shoulder when he was picked up. "Hopefully we can trust Zachary… Cas is fragile, especially right now."

"He knows the consequences of hurting Cas," Halm said calmly. And they were steep indeed.
"He'll do everything he needs to in order to keep Cas safe." Halm made his way out of the house, stopping by the pond.
"Zachary," he said. Zachary popped out, quickly changing to his human form by the side of the pond.
"Watch over Cas. Keep him safe." Zachary nodded, hurrying inside. He was terrified of failing.

Nix nodded in understanding, glaring at Zachary when he popped out of the water. He needed to make sure that the fish respected him.

Cas was stirring a little when Zachary walked in. There was still blood on the sheets from when Cas had hurt himself, and he generally seemed pale and weak.

Zachary didn't have much respect for Nix, per say. Mostly just fear. He was terrified of the cat. He stepped into the room, gently making his way into the room. He set about carefully moving the bloody parts of the sheets away from Cas, lips pursed in worry.

Halm set down the path of the garden, trying to use his senses to find someone who used to be a therapist.
"So you have any idea what kind of therapist Cas might respond well to?"

Cas turned over and huddled up against Zachary in his sleep, whimpering quietly. There was still some blood drying under his fingernails.

"Um… he definitely needs someone who can be gentle with him. He doesn't do well with invasive questions. He'll definitely need to give away information on his own terms and he doesn't like being pushed."

Zachary gently put one arm around Cas, taking Cas's hands in his own. He frowned softly, letting Cas's hands go to cup Cas's head.

"Alright then…" Halm knelt down by a plot, one that has already been planted just recently. He dug the soul up, thinking a moment as he examined it.
"Let's try this one."

Cas dragged himself into Zachary's lap and clung to him, trembling lightly. He winced a bit in his sleep.

Nix examined the soul curiously and nodded. "Alright… how will he talk to them?" He asked.

Zachary put his arms around Cas, gently running his fingers through Cas's hair.
"What happened," he mumbled quietly, worried.

"Like this," Halm said. He sat down holding the soul in his hand and tapping it. It unfolded like Cas's father had, just a small person in Halm's hand. They looked around, a little scared.

Cas eventually stirred a bit and looked up at Zachary tiredly. His face was still a bit flushed and blotchy from crying earlier. He rested his head on Zachary's chest with a soft sigh.

"Hmm." Nix gently poked the tiny person. "Who are you? Are you a therapist? Can you fix Cas?"

Zachary gently held Cas close.
"How are you feeling?" He asked. He didn't ask what happened, even though he desperately wanted to.

The soul, a woman, shuffled back from Nix's hand, stuttering a bit. Halm gently lowered Nix's have, giving the woman space.
"I-I'm a therapist," she said. "My name is Gloria Ravens. W-who is Cas? Who, who are you? W-what's going on?"

"Like shit, but okay, I guess…" Cas tucked his head under Zachary's chin and sighed, shifting so that his legs were on either side of the other's waist.

"Cas is… um… how would I describe him?" Nix looked up at Halm curiously. "Like, what is he to me? My owner? My friend? Fellow claimed?"

Zachary wrapped both arms around Cas, rubbing his back gently.
"I'm sorry to hear that," he said. He wanted Cas to feel better, he really did.

"All of those are true," Halm noted. "I'd say friend covers most of it, though." Gloria looked from Halm to Nix and back again.
"I- What's going on?" Halm sighed a bit.
"We need your help," he explained. "Cas, he… He needs the help of a therapist."

"I just feel so dumb… I'm a mess and now Halm and Nix and you have to pick up all the pieces… I'm pathetic…" Cas sighed, glancing down at the blood on and under his fingernails.

"He's fragile and he's been struggling for years. He's never been able to afford a therapist. I'm technically his trained emotional support cat, but… um… I've assumed this form for reasons. He recently experienced yet another traumatic event and his self destructive tendencies have flared up again."

Zachary too one hand from around Cas to rest gently on Cas's, blocking the blood from view.
"You've been through so much," he said gently. "And we want to help you. We want you to be okay Cas."

Gloria listened quietly. When she heard what was going on with Cas, her entire demeanor shifted to Therapist mode.
"And you want me to help with him," she said, echoing Halm. Halm nodded soberly.
"Does he know you want him to see me?"

Cas hiccuped and huddled close. "I-I'm terrified of dying again, but at the same time, it feels like it's all I want to do… I-I just… I don't wanna go through that again… I don't wanna exist anymore…"

"Uh… not exactly… but he knows he needs one. He's talked about it for years, he just… never had the opportunity."

Zachary cupped Cas's head, holding him closer.
"What you went through was horrible, Cas," he agreed. "But if you die again you couldn't come back to this body. How would Nix react? How would Halm? They both love you so much."

"Alright then. Am I to assume I'll be this size when doing it?" Halm shrugged a little. "It depends on how Cas feels about it. If he needs you to be human size you will be." Halm stood, Nix in one arm and Gloria in his other hand, making his way towards the house.
"Thank you," he said, "for helping."

Cas rubbed at his eyes and hiccuped again. "I just— w-wanna— stop existing…" He sobbed weakly. "I-I d… d-don't wanna reincarnate over and over and over…"

Nix kept his eye on Gloria, trying to decide if he trusted her or not. "And if you try to take advantage of him, rest assured that there will be consequences."

"Cas…" Zachary took Cas's head in both of his hands, his own eyes full of concern. "Cas, you're so important. If you- if you stop existing, what would we do? Cas, all of our lives have shifted to focus on you, and we wouldn't have it any other way."

Halm nodded in agreement, a shadow feeling over his eyes. Gloria swallowed thickly.
"I have no r-reason to," she said softly. "I'm totally under your control." She was terrified of them already. Halm carried them into the house, making his way towards the bedroom.