So my typing angered the small beast, so of course, she decided to get as close to me as possible while staying out of my room. So she lies down in the hallway, right outside my door.
She's now asleep, face down in the hallway
They do that. All with the many times heard battle cry of I’m not tired!
They say they're not tired and are asleep within minutes
I say I'm not tired and am passing out the next day from exhaustion
Not Emma related but I was getting out of the shower a moment ago and I just overheard a bunch of petty arguing before my mom very audibly shouting “BEEP BEEP LETTUCE” in anger so uh
I’m not sure what’s happening but needless to say I’m very intrigued
I found the context
apparently my little brother had been spamming her with the beep beep lettuce image, and whenever she told him to stop cause it was getting annoying, he would ask "stop what? i'm not doing anything :)" so she yelled it at him
So my sister came downstairs and said "Want 100 dollars?" And I said "Sure" and she hands me this

Emma tried to tell another joke
Emma: What does a pumpkin do when you tell it to jump?
Mom: What?
Emma: NOTHING cause it’s DEAD and DEATH and BLOOOOOOOOOD
"Robin's boobs are bigger than the universe!"
The worst part is I can't even argue

So I have a duvet cover with the Straw Hat crew, and she came into my room, pointed at Robin and Nami and goes
"Why are her boobs so big?"
Hello I recently became a nanny, which means I get to share this gem:
"Step on me"
Child I-
For context, I was sitting on a chair and he was laying on the ground under the chair. We were going to get up to go do something, but he didn't want to stand up. I told him I had to so I didn't step on him. He proceeded to tell me, "No, step on me." I said no.
I am currently babysitting and Emma has decided she wants to be in charge
so being the older, stricter woman that I am, I said she totally could and she smiled before ordering us all to let her watch youtube
I would give her a hug but she’s still in charge and she said no
(Lol! I love this sweet little bean! <3)
Also while mom was making dinner she decided to play this game of purposefully mis-naming every object in the house so uh
turns out the watermelon we’re eating is rotten flesh
My sister felt the need to point out that I have pink lips
No mustache and no beard
I love her
“Guys look, I can squish my brain!!!”
aggressively smushes own cheeks
emma
is such an absolute icon
One from mine.
"No one will buy it if he's having the price that high! That's extortion!"
I watched my sister blow bubbles in her chocolate milk then take a bite out of the bubbles
“Get off the radiator Gabby”
“Get off the frozen Elsa”
“Did you know that God put the sun and moon in the sky? He must be so strong to lift the moon, I wonder if mommy helped him”
(she’s learning about religion and she’s convinced mom’s reading it from experience)
“If you find a hedgehog, eat it. It’s spicy”
Meanwhile my other little sister (not Emma) has started throwing “if you know what I mean” onto the end of basic sentences, not understanding what it means and it just…
sweetie, you’re nine. I don’t think “I just really like birthday cake ice cream if you know what I mean” implies what you think it does…