forum These Corona Blues Got Me Down (mlm anyone? ~ One on one ~ Closed)

Started March 30, 2020 by @Toxic_Persephone group

tune

“It’s still impressive that you do it. Regardless of how others are.” He reassured, gently reaching out to set a hand on the other’s arm.

"Really, I'm not that good at it," he laughed,
"My friend Jamie is really good at motivation though, you should check him out."
he placed his hand on top of Evans,
"I'm not really apart of the group. Jamie and Alex are funny and play off each other really well, and Dally's really smart and goes to uni. I'm kinda just,,, there."

“I think you’re pretty good at it,” Evan said with a soft pout, giggling at himself.
“I feel the same in my friend group. Ven is the leader, they’re strong and fun and bright. And Natalie and Gwen have each other. Terry doesn’t like me very much as is. But I think that’s because he knows how big of an alcoholic I really am.” Evan turned his hand around so he could hold Nico’s, blushing lightly.

"We've all got our struggles…" he whispered, barely audible.
They sat silently till Nico turned to look at him
"Evan, I need to tell you something, okay?"
Just as he went to speak again, a familiar tune rang from his phone,
"O-oh! Sorry, I gotta take this…"

He nodded, zoning out for a moment as he thought. The silence felt strange and slightly awkward.
When Nico spoke he blinked in surprise. “Oh! Okay, what is it Nico?”
He looked to the phone and blinked again. “Go ahead and take it.”

As soon as he answered, a familiar somerset accent assaulted his ears,
"Nico! What the fuck I've been calling you for ages!! I thought you died man!"
Nico flinched,
"Sorry, I was busy."
"Well whatever that doesn't matter now," Jamie huffed,
"Look, I know we're all on lockdown but George has done a runner."
"Again?"
"Yeah, but this time we can't find him. We've been out here looking for him for a good 15 minutes and Alex said it would be a good idea to get you to help."
Nico bit his lip and glanced back at Evan,
"I can't just up and leave, James."

Evan tilted his head, not really focusing on any one thing. His brain felt like it had been placed in pudding. Alcohol made him feel so slow and heavy. He didn’t even know why he enjoyed it anymore.
Because the pain stops. The inside pain. Don’t you remember? His inner voice chirped, it made him shudder.
He glanced over at Nico as the other looked over at him, catching that last sentence with a concerned frown.
“Don’t go out. You’ll catch that virus. Or be fined. It’s not a good idea.” He huffed, voice slurred from his drunkenness.

"We can't find him! What if he's hurt?"
"I-I don't know what you want me to do!" he hissed down the phone, eyes burning as tears started to form.
"I can't go outside, James. Any other time I'd come out and look with you but I can't right now. If things are getting serious call the police, report him as missing!"
"I don't have time of thing right now, Nico. I have to go."
Nico yelled in frustration, throwing his phone across the room. It was never good news when George disappeared. Sometimes he was gone for 2 hours, sometimes he wouldn't come back for 3 weeks. But they always knew he was safe. Someone would have some contact with him, but they didn't right now. No one knew where he was and they needed everyone to look for him. Nico couldn't help his friends, though.
he climbed into his bed and pulled the sheets over his head.

Evan jumped when the phone was thrown. He blinked at Nico in shock, trying to figure out what was going on.
When Nico buried himself in the bed, Evan slid closer to gently place his hand on the other in a soothing manner.
“Nico?” He asked quietly, staring at the lump in the sheets. “Are you alright? Would you like to talk about it?”

" 'm friend has a habit of… running away. He just gets overwhelmed easily and panics. He always lets us know he's okay, though. No ones heard from him in a while, so their all out looking for him,"
Nico choked back a sob,
"I just wanna got to sleep, man."

“Oh that’s not good. I hope they find him alright, I think it’d be good for you to sleep. Let them take care of it this time. It’s alright to be selfish sometimes.” He murmured gently, moving to press a soft kiss to the blanket where Nico’s head would be. “Take time to rest.”

"Mmm.."
Nico yawned, slowly sinking into a state of unconsciousness.

Evan sighed softly, slipping from off the bed. He watched Nico for a moment before shaking his head and picking up his alcohol. The rest of it’s contents were downed as he made his way out of the room

In his unconscious state, Nicos mind wander to a picture of his friends.

(Neaaat)

Evan sighed softly as he stood in front of Nico’s door. He was ready to talk through some things since that one night they had shared such an intimate moment. But he was scared of how Nico would react.

He drew up some confidence and knocked, gasping.

Nico looked up blankly.
He had been thinking about his lost friend all day, he'd forgotten to eat, sleep, or even talk to anyone,
"Come in-" he coughed, throat sore from its lack of use.

Evan hesitated before he opened the door slowly, taking in a deep breath. “Uh… c-can we talk for a little bit?” He stood awkwardly by the door, rubbing out his palms.

This wasn’t supposed to be this nerve wracking. All he had to do was ask Nico if he wanted to go steady. Easy. Right?

"Yeah. Yeah sure thing, what do you want to talk about?"

“Well uh… I- no sorry, uhm. I was…” Evan bit his lip and shuffled nervously. “We’ve gotten pretty close… and we might not have had a real date quite yet with quarantine and everything but…”
He took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut. “I was wondering what you want to be with me… do you want to stick to roommates? Friends? Do you want to break off our relationship? Or do you uh… would you wanna maybe, d-date me?”

Nico froze.
He really liked Evan, he's cute and really nice and actually cares about him; but was he ready to love again? Could he love again? Nico took a shaky breathe a forced a smile,
"I'd love too."

Evan shifted nervously as he waited for a reply. He felt too anxious, wanted to run off and hide and maybe never show his face in public again.

But then Nico answered, and Evan felt his heart skip a beat. “W-wait really? Do you need time to think about it? We could go on just one date and if you don’t see me in that way we can end it there. This is… it’s a big step. I don’t want to force you into anything.”

Nico took a steady breath,
"Yeah, that sounds good. But I have edit right now sooo.."
He trailed off, trying to hint at needing to have a breakdown alone,
"Talk later?"

“Of course I can, Sorry for bothering you.” Evan nodded very gently, shuffling out of the room with an anxious heart. Nico had said yes but something felt odd and Evan was worried.

He went straight to the fridge to grab him a snack before hiding away from the world in his room. Here it was safe.
Here he could beat himself up over asking Nico to go steady.

Nico took a deep breath and shuddered.
Things were hard, he's hit his limit.
Thoughts of awful things he could do to himself raced through his head.
Why did it always have to be like this?