J: I feel like my relationship is starting to revolve around sex
J: And I wanna talk to him about it but idk how
M (yes that's me): Try this
M: "hello sir otto, beloved boyfriend. this pussy is pRiVaTe PrOpErTy and your application has not been accepted yet."
nods in agreement
lmao you approve of my strategy?
Yes.
"Does your character remove their beak while offstage?"
-Akinator, 2020
"Hey, cock! Can I eat you?"
"What a perfect time to whore yourself out!"
"Douglas Adams is quaking."
"Oh we have an old person here"
"straight boys"
"are goofy asf"
"When's MAHVEL"
"I wish to be a burrito as I listen to the birds debating politics."
"Ah, it's 5:50 in the morning. The sun is a'shinin' way too early, the birds are a'chirpin' so I can't go back to sleep, and the bees aren't a'buzzin because it's too cold for this. How do morning people… morning?"
"This is us about to pull a George and Lenny"
"But… did anybody say 'you're welcome' when that dear boy thanked you so graciously for the avocado?"
G: Sends picture of boyfriend because previous conversation
G: Babe you're thicc
J (Me): Spare ass, Pocket? I am lacking.
K, who is asexual: Damn, Pocket (G's BF's username)
J: JKSfhgdsfkjgh KAIDEn
(the name kaiden gives me war flashbacks to Deathman)
(Ew. Him.)
(IDK what y'all are talking about but I swear Kaiden probably is the exact opposite.)
(I hope so for your sake)
(Wait NVM I think I know who you're talking about now. If I got the right guy, he's nothing like deathman)
“What’s it called when you fill someone’s yard with balloons?”
while looking down, In a sarcastic tone. “Littering?”
"WHAT TIME IT IS"
"I don't know but if I did I would"
"Douglas Adams is quaking."
I must know.
"Douglas Adams is quaking."
I must know.
We were watching my cat bat at an ice cube from the outside of a bowl (she stepped on the hot stove so we put some ice water Ina bowl for her paws). My dad commented that she seems to think she can go through solid objects and something about being in science fiction. So without thinking, I said, "Douglas Adams is quaking."
Ah.
"I don't see why people like brown sugar so much. I just ate some and it made my mouth so dry."
"What?"
"Nevermind it was baking soda."
"I liked the second hike. You know, the one with the steps, the cave, and the potential grave robbery."
"Lick the spoon you coward!"
"I liked the second hike. You know, the one with the steps, the cave, and the potential grave robbery."
(Context PLEASE)
"Down and dirty with the birdies"