forum The LGBTQ+ Community Chat :)

Started April 21, 2018 by @Tylerrr-M-P

tune

phgdbdjdns, I don't live there but literally half my family does

My family is scattered about in the U.S. and also in Europe.

I was looking through upcoming queer chat groups, and they have a button for a "quick escape" that takes you back to your google home page, and can I just say that's really considerate for closeted peeps? Like I've been in that situation where I've fumbled around with my phone trying to look natural and definetly wasn't looking at ace/aro pride art, no way. Having that button is nice.

ok that’s actually genius-

thats really smart honestly

you ever just look back at your old self and think dear god how was i such a dumbass
i legit thought i was straight
what an idiot
and to think it's only been a month or so since connecting the dots

EDhyfrsezugyszhjs
I look back at my past and go "Damn, I had even less of a filter then."

I think a good amount of us, especially ace-spec folk, experienced some major het-lag

I just laughed and I think I may be part helium baloon

you ever just look back at your old self and think dear god how was i such a dumbass
i legit thought i was straight
what an idiot
and to think it's only been a month or so since connecting the dots

Sometimes I randomly remember that I had a crush on a girl when I was in kindergarten but I didn't tell anyone because–I kid you not–I didn't know who would wear the wedding dress if we got married (don't @ me I was like 6)

you ever just look back at your old self and think dear god how was i such a dumbass
i legit thought i was straight
what an idiot
and to think it's only been a month or so since connecting the dots

Sometimes I randomly remember that I had a crush on a girl when I was in kindergarten but I didn't tell anyone because–I kid you not–I didn't know who would wear the wedding dress if we got married (don't @ me I was like 6)

That's so cute

you ever just look back at your old self and think dear god how was i such a dumbass
i legit thought i was straight
what an idiot
and to think it's only been a month or so since connecting the dots

Sometimes I randomly remember that I had a crush on a girl when I was in kindergarten but I didn't tell anyone because–I kid you not–I didn't know who would wear the wedding dress if we got married (don't @ me I was like 6)

That's so cute

Thanks lol I remember thinking "all the guys I know are gross, maybe I should marry a girl-"
I'm still laughing about the wedding dress thing, comphet is a hell of a drug

thinking about the french foreign exchange student who really made me question my sexuality in seventh grade-
I talked to her about Sherlock and that's the only thing we ever had a conversation about but I thought she was super cool and "I just wanted to be her friend!!"

you ever just look back at your old self and think dear god how was i such a dumbass
i legit thought i was straight
what an idiot
and to think it's only been a month or so since connecting the dots

Sometimes I randomly remember that I had a crush on a girl when I was in kindergarten but I didn't tell anyone because–I kid you not–I didn't know who would wear the wedding dress if we got married (don't @ me I was like 6)

That's so cute

Thanks lol I remember thinking "all the guys I know are gross, maybe I should marry a girl-"
I'm still laughing about the wedding dress thing, comphet is a hell of a drug

I got married twice in kindergarten. To two boys~ bleh

you ever just look back at your old self and think dear god how was i such a dumbass
i legit thought i was straight
what an idiot
and to think it's only been a month or so since connecting the dots

Sometimes I randomly remember that I had a crush on a girl when I was in kindergarten but I didn't tell anyone because–I kid you not–I didn't know who would wear the wedding dress if we got married (don't @ me I was like 6)

That's so cute

Thanks lol I remember thinking "all the guys I know are gross, maybe I should marry a girl-"
I'm still laughing about the wedding dress thing, comphet is a hell of a drug

I got married twice in kindergarten. To two boys~ bleh

I killed a guy in kindergarten :D

I
repeated kindergarten

Once I had a girl go, "are you sure you're straight? Because you talk about hating boys a lot."
And i said yes so she goes, "really?" So my automatic response was, "Yeah. You're very pretty but I don't want to sleep with you." I think she was a little weirded out
Yeah that was before I figured out I was aroace

I remember having a conversation with my best friend back when I was maybe 5 where we both wished one of us was a boy so we could marry each other
there was also my inability to make friends in my youth group cause some girls there were so cool and pretty that I got too nervous to even speak to them-
and let's not forget the "hey idiot, we should totally kiss each other as a joke, no homo" event from last year's bible camp

and that doesn't even cover all the obvious ace hints

younger me: "man she is soo pretty. I wish I was her friend. I just wanna spend a lot of time with her"

also younger me: "what the he c kl e, of course I'm straight!"

The biggest hint I didn't take was when everyone would play truth or dare, and I always always pick truth, and they always always asked "who's your crush" to which I replied no one (or on rare occasion made one up), then they'd all call me a liar lol. I never got that whole having a crush thing. And I've completely lost count of how many "aren't you lesbian?" "I thought you were lesbian", and "are you sure you like boys?" I've gotten. My sexual ambiguity is a running joke with friends I don't bother to explain the entire ace/aro-spectrum to.

The biggest hint I didn't take was when everyone would play truth or dare, and I always always pick truth, and they always always asked "who's your crush" to which I replied no one (or on rare occasion made one up), then they'd all call me a liar lol. I never got that whole having a crush thing. And I've completely lost count of how many "aren't you lesbian?" "I thought you were lesbian", and "are you sure you like boys?" I've gotten. My sexual ambiguity is a running joke with friends I don't bother to explain the entire ace/aro-spectrum to.

One time I replied with a guy I saw in a musical at another school and I refused to give a last name so it led to a bunch of 8th graders scrambling to try and figure out who the mysterious actor I liked was
I based a character off of his take on the character he played

you ever just look back at your old self and think dear god how was i such a dumbass
i legit thought i was straight
what an idiot
and to think it's only been a month or so since connecting the dots

I don’t even remember my old self.
I wish I could, honestly, because I’m pretty sure I was fucked up back then even more than I am now _{cough shaved my head cough}.
I don’t even remember when I started liking girls, it kinda just happened and before I knew it I was kissing my friend in front of a lot of people backstage during a school production of Alice in Wonderland..

you ever just look back at your old self and think dear god how was i such a dumbass
i legit thought i was straight
what an idiot
and to think it's only been a month or so since connecting the dots

I don’t even remember my old self.
I wish I could, honestly, because I’m pretty sure I was fucked up back then even more than I am now _{cough shaved my head cough}.
I don’t even remember when I started liking girls, it kinda just happened and before I knew it I was kissing my friend in front of a lot of people backstage during a school production of Alice in Wonderland..

Oh hey, I did Looking Glass Land in middle school! It sort of sucked since I didn't understand the plot (I'm not really one for absurdist stuff, and I especially wasn't then) but it was the first show I ever did.

Oh hey, I did Looking Glass Land in middle school! It sort of sucked since I didn't understand the plot (I'm not really one for absurdist stuff, and I especially wasn't then) but it was the first show I ever did.

Oh really? That’s so cool!
I don’t know how it works in other schools, by my high school drama teachers would choose the idea for the production (eg. Alice in Wonderland, A Christmas Carol, Narnia) and then write a short script for the auditions. Only after individuals had been cast would they then write the entire script and write everyone’s characters to suit their acting skills. Oh and let’s not forget the songs they included as well.. that was a nightmare…

Oh hey, I did Looking Glass Land in middle school! It sort of sucked since I didn't understand the plot (I'm not really one for absurdist stuff, and I especially wasn't then) but it was the first show I ever did.

Oh really? That’s so cool!
I don’t know how it works in other schools, by my high school drama teachers would choose the idea for the production (eg. Alice in Wonderland, A Christmas Carol, Narnia) and then write a short script for the auditions. Only after individuals had been cast would they then write the entire script and write everyone’s characters to suit their acting skills. Oh and let’s not forget the songs they included as well.. that was a nightmare…

We would do licensed shows, although my middle school English classes would do short little skits about the books we read in there (well, for 6th and 7th grade small book clubs anyways) and we'd have to cast and write them ourselves. For actual shows I was in Looking Glass Land, Bye Bye Birdie, A Midsummer Night's Midterm, The Snow Queen, Into the Woods, and Henry V, most of which were for school. There was a super talented singer in my 6th grade class and they forced in a gospel choir song for her in Looking Glass Land so she could flex, and somehow I ended up getting a solo towards the end lol. The director also made some little songs for Midsummer.

Not to interrupt, but I'm going to live this here before I'm offline for a while.

I'm kinda low-key questioning my gender. Well, maybe not gender, but more so my thoughts on my gender. This is a safe space, so I'll just spew here.

I was thinking back to my childhood days. When I was a kid, I always thought "when I grow up I'll be a girl," and now I'm realizing most girls that age might've already felt like girls. I never subscribed to gender-norms (which isn't that big a deal, plenty of tom-boys out there), never felt like "one of the girls", never liked playing boys vs. girls because I didn't identify as one of them. But at the same time, I knew I wasn't a boy. I thought, and please someone tell me if this is a common experience for cis folk, that you were you, and everyone else was either a boy or girl. You were kind of on the outside of gender looking in and sorting other people, but you never categorized yourself. Now I'm wondering if that was more of a me thing.

Puberty came along, which made me feel a little more woman-y, but didn't change much. Locker rooms became a thing, and I hated the idea of being seen by women while undressing as well as seeing other women undressing. I think if I were in a men's locker room I'd feel the same way. When it comes to public bathrooms, sometimes I feel weird going in, like I'll get "caught" or I'm doing something wrong. I like using family restrooms better.

I came across the term agender a long time ago and thought "understandable". When I heard of the non-binary community, I kind-of-but-not-really was like "yeah, these are my people." I only recently came across the term grey-gender, which was the first domino leading to this rant. It basically means you feel indifferent/don't have a strong sense of gender.

I'm pretty sure I'm a cis woman, but, if this makes sense, how much of a cis woman? If everyone had a gender meter, I think mine would be close to empty, but the only gender you'd find is cis girl. Being a girl isn't that important to me. I know I don't identify as a boy. I'm not trans. So now I'm stuck with the question, is it possible to be cis and have a non-binaryish identity? It might also be worth noting I've never experienced gender-body dysphoria, but based on all those experiences I would say I experience some social discomfort regarding my gender (but it could be just the world's view on women influencing my feelings).

Gender is a complicated experience dude. This be whack. If anyone has opinions on these experiences/thoughts, please share them.

Oh shit you put it into words

Y'all wanna know the funny thing about my past self?
I can't remember shit! HAHAHAHA, WE LOVE DISSOCIATION AND MEMORY ISSUES

Y'all wanna know the funny thing about my past self?
I can't remember shit! HAHAHAHA, WE LOVE DISSOCIATION AND MEMORY ISSUES

Y'all wanna know the funny thing about my past self?
I can't remember shit! HAHAHAHA, WE LOVE DISSOCIATION AND MEMORY ISSUES