Absolutely, Miriam!

Of course Mir!

Um… I have a vent now…
how do you… gently and politely reject someone??? i swear this random guy wants to have a relationship with me and even tho it isn't his fault (because he wouldn't have known that i'm already taken) i like don't know how to do this because i've never had to.

just explain that you're already with someone
he'll understand

Aw, thanks everyone <3

but like, do i just say "sorry, i'm already taken"??

ella, i know your on discord, and normally that's exactly what i would say (not that i've ever had to say that before) except for the fact that this is on discord and hhhh this is some random guy from a server i'm in and there were roles to indicate if your taken and i just feel really awkward having to explain this to them because i'm shy and even tho it was reaction roles i was going to be the first one in the server to say that i'm taken and hhhhhhh

asdfgfds imma just go with that first thing you suggested and then check the dm every five seconds to see how well he takes the news

i have been sitting in the bathroom crying all morning and i- i don’t want to come back home after school i just don’t…

oh nia…
i'm sorry…
/offers hugs/
what happened hun?

also related to that random guy…
i'm lowkey highkey freaking out (because anxiety)
what… what on earth am i supposed to say to "i was just joking cutie calm down"???
he was obviously flirting (i think)
so um
yeah

i was yelled at for a bunch of things i didn’t do and told i am worthless and a burden and that i should go to hell and i’ve had everything taken from me except notebook because for the moment notebook is still a secret and i can’t do this anymore i’ve never wanted to die more in my entire life and i always feel like i want to die

_{Can you maybe use they/them pronouns for me, at least for now? I'm just trying it out.}

Yeah, of course!

oh nia…
i'm sorry…
you are one of the world's most precious beans
and i'm not going to say most of my usual things this time
i'm not going to tell you to hang in there this time
because i bring new things
i am going to reference Life as an actual person like i always do, though

nia. life is hard. and we both know that. Life has mood swings. quite dramatic ones, if i say so myself. but nevertheless, as i said last night, Life is going to throw all he has at you sometimes. Life is going to push you to the limits and test your strength, constantly. physically and emotionally. and right now, yes, you're on a quest. a quest to find your way out of this hole that Life has dug and pushed you into. while you are embarking on this quest, it's going to get harder. because Life does not want you to get out. he wants to push you around and "play" with you. and right now, this is what Life is doing with you. but you just have to try to brush it off and try your hardest to get through all of these barriers and obstacles Life throws your way because you can do it. i know you can. 100% sure. and you are proving your strength by telling us this, because we want to help in every way possible, and by letting us know, we can try our hardest to help.

also, related to that random guy…
i'm lowkey highkey freaking out (because anxiety)
what… what on earth am i supposed to say to "i was just joking cutie calm down"???
he was obviously flirting (i think)
so um
yeah

i hate to bring this up again, but i really am freaking out about this because i've never been put in this situation before so…

_{and i may have made the whole situation worse by rambling because i was nervous about how i should've made it clear and i'm just shy so…}

What's up with translation subtitles in movies/tv shows? They're rarely ever on screen long enough to read. Can I read fast? Yes, but not that fast! It's a pain in the ass to have to rewind a bunch of times just to know what was said!!!!!

Yeah, I get that.

Caught a small mistake. Lol

_{I'm stupid and I don't see it oof}

That's because I corrected it….

I hate myself :))))))))))))

why the fuck can I not just be happy for once?? I'm wasting my life away like this.

And that knowledge literally kills me.

Amber, I want you to know that I saw what you said before you deleted it and it is deeply concerning. I don't know what I could do or say to help your situation and I apologize.

Blurry, I can't guarantee that things will get better, but I will say that I support you. I do not hate you and no matter how much you hate yourself, you don't deserve to be hated. Just keep pushing on and I'm certain that even if things still suck ass, you'll find at least one thing to make you happy. <3

Amber, I want you to know that I saw what you said before you deleted it and it is deeply concerning. I don't know what I could do or say to help your situation and I apologize.

Blurry, I can't guarantee that things will get better, but I will say that I support you. I do not hate you and no matter how much you hate yourself, you don't deserve to be hated. Just keep pushing on and I'm certain that even if things still suck ass, you'll find at least one thing to make you happy. <3

^^^^^^^

_{i feel like i'm devolving back into complete and utter piece of heck status and i don't know how to feel or what to do about it}

What happened Ella?

Nothing too specific
I just feel like I'm slowly getting progressively more unpleasant to be around and I don't know if it's all in my head or if I actually am

Well I wouldn't say it's all in your head, probably some small action that you happened to catch that someone made, or perhaps someone's innocent words triggered it, although I do know for sure that you are not slowly getting progressively more unpleasant. You are a wonderful bean Ella. And that is fact.

i was yelled at for a bunch of things i didn’t do and told i am worthless and a burden and that i should go to hell and i’ve had everything taken from me except notebook because for the moment notebook is still a secret and i can’t do this anymore i’ve never wanted to die more in my entire life and i always feel like i want to die

Oh Ruby… We are always here for you.

Well I wouldn't say it's all in your head, probably some small action that you happened to catch that someone made, or perhaps someone's innocent words triggered it, although I do know for sure that you are not slowly getting progressively more unpleasant. You are a wonderful bean Ella. And that is fact.

I much agree.

i was yelled at for a bunch of things i didn’t do and told i am worthless and a burden and that i should go to hell and i’ve had everything taken from me except notebook because for the moment notebook is still a secret and i can’t do this anymore i’ve never wanted to die more in my entire life and i always feel like i want to die

Oh Ruby… We are always here for you.

_{thanks dom…}

I FRICKING HATE MONDAYS, SOCIAL MEDIA, AND MY KEYBOARD.

I'm sick again

Aight so I'mma try to keep this vent as PG as possible

I have been dealing with this annoying cyst, which just so happened to make its home on my junk down below. It's been so deeply irritating I didn't know how much I could take. Until this morning.
I checked and it turned into a whitehead, ready to pop given the opportunity. I did not want to wait for someone to kick me there during my Self-Defense class. I popped it then and there in the shower.
I cannot explain how awful that felt. Any amount of pleasure that could've been derived from this was replaced by waves of pain.
I'm better now though. I've got my morning coffee with me.

Sometimes I hate my hormones. Honestly.

It is spirit week, I have pink eye.
I will be going to school.

It is spirit week, I have pink eye.
I will be going to school.

Don't. Plus spirit week fucking sucks.

Time for a game of: Are my parents right and I just never learned to control my mood swings and I worry a normal amount or is there actually something wrong with me?
D: