I want to kill time at the library. I want to bike there and see my friends, and buy cookies from the little shop and eat them while loitering in the hallways since it's not allowed inside. I want to get up early and go garage saling with my mom and my aunt, and get snacks from Kwik Trip as we drive to some other town. I want to go to Door County and watch a show in the woods after a day of biking in the park and a fish boil. I want to take the ferry to Washington Island and go to the lavender farm and the little bookshop up there. I want to go back to my clubs and extracurriculars.
I want to go back to guard just because I like throwing things in the air. I want to sit above dlm with my friends while we talk about teachers and pretend to study for exams which is something I was fully planning on doing this year and now I can't. I want to go to a coffee shop and just sit and read and eat a cookie while I ignore my schoolwork
Ignoring my schoolwork doesn't have the same appeal at home than it does somewhere cool
I want to take stupid videos of my friends across the classroom.
I want to hide from my teacher for the chance to talk to my friends for just a few more minutes.
I want to walk around the school in circles with my friend and talk about our days.
I want to drive too fast and yell at morning commuters.
I want to sit on the beaten-down carpet of my bookstore and browse books for hours.
I want to find hidden gems in thrift stores.
I want to drink milky iced tea at Peets and let the sun filter through the window on me while I do homework.
I want to laugh with my friends and casually throw my arm over their shoulders.
I want a reason to wear jeans.
I want to show off the clothes I'm wearing.
I want my bed to be relief, not just one more place to go.
I want to walk on the beach and shiver in my hoodie as I stand there and watch the waves.
I want to drink way-too expensive coffee and eat donuts.
I want to stop being trapped.
I want to go back to life.
Peets is so good! I've only had it once (the one in Chicago) but it was really good!
I adore Peets.
The fact that there's one ten minutes walking distance from my house helps a bit
I want to smile and laugh with other people in real life.
I want to experience that rush of love I get for everyone around me as they interact with me and smile at me and meet my eyes.
I want to go to the mall and go dress shopping with my friends and show off the dresses I can wear to prom.
I want to go to prom with my junior friends and be the laughing, happy “date” for my friend who is graduating this year.
I want to experience band class as a hopeful drum major, not have the stress of auditioning and finding out who else is doing it ripped away from me.
I want to pick spring music and guess our summer show with the band.
I want to hug my friends again.
I want to make solid eye contact and look away awkwardly when caught staring.
I want to see everyone, even the people I claim to hate.
I want the stupid, petty drama of high school. I want my friends telling me their life, I want to hear about their relationships, I want to hear about their prom dresses being too small.
I want to laugh with my friends and boyfriend, so hard we can’t breathe. I want to feel the gentle touch of love and tuck my head away into the neck of the one I love.
I want this to be over.
Fuck I want to go to prom
Mox idk why it didnt occur to me that you drive
Fuck I want to go to prom
I'm not a prom/party person but it must fucking suck to be missing senior prom, I'm sorry for you :(
At least I won't be with a singular friend at prom. Because none of my friends are old enough and I can only bring one "date"
Mox idk why it didnt occur to me that you drive
I mean it is kind of a new development
Ish
Mox idk why it didnt occur to me that you drive
I mean it is kind of a new development
Ish
Its more like–since I've adopted you as my sister, you are now the age of my other sisters.
So when I read it I was like "Mox is four she can't drive."
And then I realized how ridiculous that was
Mox idk why it didnt occur to me that you drive
I mean it is kind of a new development
Ish
Its more like–since I've adopted you as my sister, you are now the age of my other sisters.
So when I read it I was like "Mox is four she can't drive."
And then I realized how ridiculous that was
I mean I get that logic
Okay Eris prepare yourself
I’m gonna be 18 in a month and I’m going off to college in August
Then we will no longer have the same year number and everything will be right again
I just want out.
I want to be able to run around downtown with a friend and try to help her with her photography.
I want to see the stupid people at college where I can hear dumb jokes and trade words with a professor.
I want to sit in an actual classroom and lose my mind and fiddle with my chair because I can't listen.
I want to meet all the new people in my classes and tick off another quarter where I am a student that will be the one that's remembered by the teachers and students alike.
I want to have a chance to say goodbye to some people I might never see again.
I want to be able to hug my friends goodbye and hello everyday. Hell, I just want to be touched.
I want to be able to cry a little when Josh insists we can't get close to each other because he's been exposed.
I want to be able to have long talks on the roof of a building with Mikayla and try to sort through her problems.
I want to meet up with my Friday school pals and just do something together.
I want to go swimming with my friends that live five miles away.
I want to be able to go to my probably last dance.
I want to sleep over with a friend and know that I'm needed.
I want to prepare with certainty for long hours at the fair booth where I'll be wanted in the chaos.
But most of all? I just want to be out.
Dom you're gonna make me cry because I feel that so hard
this whole conversation is actually making me cry tbh.
I want to be able to go to my probably last dance.
so go to notebook prom with Maddie
but for real… If I'd known what all this was gonna turn into… I would have said goodbye for longer to so many people and done some things just one more time before this.
Y'all I'm supposed to be the dramatic one. Stop coming for my brand
Tell me about it. Tell me about it. I'm never gonna see a lot of people again. I'm never gonna see the campus I was at for two years again.
Listing them all out is too much
I'm never gonna get to do a lot of things again
Guys–
It's not the end of anything. You don't have to say 'goodbye' to all those things you love. They will still be there when all of this is over. Even better is that they will be waiting for you to return. Ready and primed for you to smile and laugh at the most minuscule things.
You don't have to say goodbye because it's not goodbye
There's never a goodbye.
Part of becoming an adult is letting go of things you love for the time being as you in your heart need time and space to grow. The universe is taking this time to remind all of us what is special to our hearts so we take it all seriously and nothing for granted. It's not goodbye, it's just a "ta for now" while I go experience something that will chance my life. That will help me grow. Because even though this situation sucks and it's hard we are all collectively, as humans, learning what it is to cherish the times we have together. The emotion that had been lost by callous times will come back in full force ans build from there.
Lets not forget how much you all are learning about yourselves as well. This is all a growing experience and you cant let it beat you down into the ground. So you're going to miss your senior prom–yea that really blows–by all of college is ahead of you that's full of experiences that are so much more meaningful than a dance with people you're probably not ever really going to talk to again. It's not the last time you'll be around friends, and I guarantee that it wont be the last time you look hot in dress–or tux–and certainly wont be the last time you dance. You may miss the chance to play your music and prove yourself to be the best, but that isnt the last chance…it's the first of many and you have to understand that you will triumph again and again as long as you let go of what's been taken from you. The universe took it, to give you something better. Who knows what the specifics are right now, but the time you have been given to grow yourself from the inside out, discover a new hobby, pick up an old hobby, strut your stuff by taking on more responsibilities is time that you will never have again. So take this opportunity and make it something that you can look back on and say "hell yea. I grew." even if it's just learning how to do the splits like my best friend and I are doing.
It doesnt have to be serious….but it has to be a journey that makes you feel more like you. We are all Kings and Queens of our own lives, but remember….one is never born King, or born Queen.
They become King.
They become Queen.
That's what all this life is all about, you know?
Dom you're gonna make me cry because I feel that so hard
this whole conversation is actually making me cry tbh.
Yeah. I feel like it almost is a time to cry. "I will not say 'do not weep' for not all tears are evil."
