forum Private roleplay with @Otaku_Is_Anime_Trash

Started June 26, 2019 by @Fraust

tune

"Why don't you think you're cute?" Nick chuckled and kissed the top of his head. "What you're doing right now is cute."

"I dunno, I just… I can't… I can't see myself the way you see me, love."

“Well you should love yourself more because then our kids won’t go to school and say papa hates himself. That would be problematic.”

"Um…" Lucas was a little confused. "Nick… sorry to break it to you, but we're… you know… gay. I may not know much about sex, but we can't… have kids?"

“It’s called adoption sweetheart. It’s this thing where people can sign papers and adopt a child into their home permanently.” Nick poked his nose.

Lucas blushed a bit, pouting. "I mean… I guess… I'm assuming you want kids?"

“I know I do, but would you like to?” He whispered kissing down his neck again.

"Um… I don't have a problem with it, I've just… never really thought about it before…" He replied quietly. "T-To be honest, I… um… I wasn't really sure if I was gonna live to get to that point…"

He froze. “W-What does that mean? Please tell me you don’t mean what I think you mean…”

"I'm… I'm sorry, love, I just… I-I mean… I was definitely at a point where I didn't even know if I could make it through high school." He buried his face in Nick's chest, feeling immensely guilty. "You're helping me a lot, of course, love, it just… I can't erase all the times I tried…"

“Don’t finish that sentence….” he planted his face in his hands. “Why didn’t you…I mean we’re…you could’ve told the guys if you didn’t trust me…why didn’t you ask for help…I could’ve…” his eyes started to swell up with tears.

Lucas was already crying softly into Nick's shirt. "I-I'm so, so sorry, love… I… m-my dad, I… I didn't think I d… deserved help…"

“Lucas stop it! That’s not an excuse for why you couldn’t tell me after you left your dad’s house. Come on! Didn’t I tell you that you can rely on me because I rely on you. There is nothing for to hide or think you don’t deserve anything because I am right here. Before I say anything else…how many times?” His voice began to break.

"I-I thought I did tell you!" Lucas sobbed. "What with the blades strewn about my house and all, I… I figured you assumed that I…" He clutched Nick's shirt tightly. "F-Fourteen…" He whispered weakly.

Nick froze and became silent. "………." he was speechless and held a hand over his mouth. "What about after you moved into my place?"

"I-I never tried to k… I never tried once I lived with you… I'm not going to lie and say I never hurt myself, b-but I never went that far…"

"I can't Lucas……did you ever try to kill yourself. If you did h-how many times." It hurt him to ask these questions, but he had to know.

"I… I thought that's what you were asking before…" Lucas whispered weakly. "Fourteen…"

"Well then how many fucking times did you cut yourself?!" he getting frustrated, angry, and worried at the same time.

Lucas flinched at his tone, whimpering quietly and beginning to tremble. "I… I-I don't know the exact number, I… lost count… it was a lot…"

"No…..is there anywhere I have seen that has cuts because I didn't see a lot of cuts when we had sex." He tapped his finger anxiously.

"Um… w-well, they were always there… I usually cut my thighs since it's more inconspicuous than my arms, but I still have a fair few on my arms because it… b-because it was more convenient at the time, and I wasn't in any state to care…"

"Lucas, no, no, no, no, no." he broke down and let his tears fall. "I can't believe this. I won't believe it. This isn't possible…" he held his face in his hands and refused to move his head towards Lucas.

"I-I'm sorry, love…" Lucas was sobbing quietly as well, clinging to Nick for dear life. "I'm s-so sorry…"

"I-I'm sorry, love…" Lucas was sobbing quietly as well, clinging to Nick for dear life. "I'm s-so sorry…"

"I'm getting you help," he whispered and wrapped his hands around Lucas's waist.

Lucas sighed, knowing he couldn't change Nick's mind. He just kept whispering apologies over and over.

"Stop apologizing. If anything I should be saying sorry for yelling at you. I was worried and mad at the same time. I will never yell at you like that again okay. Stop me if I ever do. You can even slap if I raise that tone with you okay?" he wiped his eyes with a weak smile.

"I-I don't wanna hurt you…" Lucas whispered, his voice breaking. "I love you so much… p… p-please don't leave me… I need you…"

"I'm never going to leave you…Lucas listen to me. I would never even if the I save the world by breaking up with you, I wouldn't do it. I'm telling you this from the bottom of my heart. I love you. I just got a little moody." he chuckled.

Lucas nodded, drawing in a shaky breath and hugging Nick tightly. "I-I've never loved someone the way I love you…" He murmured.