forum Do you really want to trust insanity? (Private with Icefire, it's pretty fooking mature, matey)

Started December 04, 2019 by @ElderGodSwimwithGamers group

tune

Alex came back out after a few minutes. "I'm uhm…going to get some sleep." He said softly, knowing it would take him a while to get to sleep.

Gabe had been reading, so he looked up when Alex spoke.
"Okay then," he said with a smile. "I'll be right here if you need anything." He was also close enough to the bedroom that he could easily hear if Alex had another episode, or needed Gabe's help that way at all.

Alex nodded, and headed into the bedroom. The journal slid out from his pocket, falling unnoticed to the floor. In the bedroom, he climbed into the bed and lay down, curling up on his side.

Gabe looked up when he heard the soft thump of the journal, thinking for a moment before setting his own book aside and getting up. He picked the journal up, pausing. He really shouldn't look… but what if it helped him with Alex? Not making a sound, he slowly cracked the book open and peeked inside, just a glimpse, before shutting it again. No. This was wrong.

The journal was older, and was weathered and stained. Some of the pages were wrinkled and warped as if from water, others were so bloodied that they were illegible.

Gabe sighed very softly when he saw the blood. He quietly made his way into the bedroom, setting the journal down gently on the bedstand without a word. Then, he turned to leave.

Alex opened one eye when Gabe came in, taking in a breath when he saw the journal. "Oh." He said quietly. "I…I guess you could read that. If…you want." Then kick me out, because God knows that everything that's wrong with me is in there.

"I wasn't going to," Gabe said, turning around again. "A man is supposed to have his privacy. I'll only ever read it if you actually want me to." He gave Alex a reassuring smile.
"I want to help as much as I can, but only when you're ready."

Alex nodded a little. He was snuggled down into the blankets, with only his head poking out from beneath. "Alright."

Gabe nodded, then made his way out of the room, back to his chair. He sat down, the creak sounding throughout the apartment as he settled in. He put one of his coats over his legs as a blanket, reading by the window for light from the street lamps.

Alex closed his eyes again, and tried to get to sleep. He tried to, he really did. He rolled over.

Gabe read for a while, finally dozing off.
(Time skip to morning, or should something happen during the night?)

Alex kept trying to get to sleep.
(hm. I could maybe have Alex have a nightmare, if that's alright?)

(kk)

Alex was thrashing. He wasn't screaming, but he was keening, a soft sound that just seemed to go on and on and on. Soft enough that in a cell, it wouldn't have been heard outside his room, but here, in this apartment? The noise carried.

Gabe was slowly pulled out of sleep by a Alex's keening. When he realized what the sound was, he booked up, his book flying out it his lap as he hurried into the bedroom.
"Alex," he said, loud enough to be heard over the keening. "Wake up. It's not real." He needed to wake Alex up.

(gtg to bed now. Good night!)

Alex whimpered, and continued keening, thrashing in the blankets. Tears had leaked out from under his eyelids, and he was shaking.

(Night!)

"Alex!" Gabe took the blankets off of Alex so he didn't accidently strangle himself.

His eyes flew open, staring at Gabe but not seeming to recognize him. "Henry?" he whispered in a broken voice, shaking.

Gabe pursed his lips, hand going to rest lightly on Alex's forehead.
"Alex," he said gently. "Who is Henry?"

Everything he was my everything and I loved him and we… Alex took a deep breath, shaking slightly. He stared at Gabe for a long moment. "I…I…" He couldn't tell the truth, he couldn't. Gabe would kick him out for it. Sodomy was a sin. Sodomy was illegal.

"Alex, please," Gabe said gently, sitting down on the bed. He kept his hand on Alex's face, though it moved from his forehead to his cheek. Gabe was still sleepy, giving in to impulses.

Alex leaned into the hand, breath coming in hard, fast gasps. "I-I…he…" He couldn't. He shouldn't. But he blurted it out anyway. "I-I'm a s-sodomite. He was my…my lover, we were…" He closed his eyes.

Gabe listened to Alex confess, not taking his hand away.
"Okay," he said gently. "Okay. He must have meant a lot to you." Gabe's words were gentle; he wasn't judging Alex for being a sodomite. How could he, when he was tempted this way as well?

Alex swallowed hard, and nodded, starting to cry again as he remembered Henry's rejection just a few days ago. "I'm s-sorry. I'll leave in the morning if you want me to, I s-swear, just please don't make me leave in the d-dark!" His voice cracked, and he squeezed his eyes shut, shaking. "Please I swear I'll l-leave, just…just let me stay until morning and then I'll go, I-I promise."

"Alex," Gabe said, wiping some of the tears away. "Why would I kick you out? I told you you can stay as long as you need to, and I'm not changing my mind just because you're a sodomite." He put his other hand lightly on Alex, wanting to sooth him.

Alex broke down, hugging his arms around himself and sobbing, shaking. He tucked his knees to his chest.

Gabe moved his hand back to the top of Alex's head, scooting a little closer to him.
"Hey, don't worry. You're safe here."