"Hm," Jude sounded, "Oh. That's a problem..because these songs are meant to be danced to." Smirking, he stared back at Nyx, quirking an eyebrow, silently inviting him to dance.
I guess those ballroom dancing lessons would be useful, afterall.
Nyx cocked his head a little. "But i don't know how." he replied. "So how can I dance to them?" he blinked, looking at Jude quietly, not quite understanding what Jude was asking for. He bit his lower lip. He didn't even know what dancing really…looked like.
Jude nodded, standing up, "Yeah, that's okay," He said, holding out a hand in invitation, the peaceful piano in the background echoing around them, like a divine atmosphere where time was altered, and the busy streets were still. "I'll show you."
Nyx bit his lip, and took Jude's hand cautiously, standing up. "Alright." he said slowly, careful not to hold Jude's hand too tightly. His cybernetic fingers were stronger than a normal human's, and if he wasn't careful, he could break Jude's fingers by holding too tightly. So he was careful to make sure he didn't do that.
Jude nodded, almost flinching at the ice-cold touch of Nyx's hand. "Okay, so-" He started, taking Nyx's right hand in his left, and vice versa for the other, "All you do– is flow to the rhythm…as it moves." He said, slowly moving the two of them in pacing, slow, patterned stride.
"Like you're being carried…by a river."
Nyx watched him carefully, holding onto Jude's hands gently and carefully, and following Jude's movements. He nodded a little, looking down at their feet so he could follow along better. He stepped on Jude's toes a little without meaning to, biting his lip for a moment.
"It's okay, everyone stumbles the first time," Jude said, guiding them, slowly turning, stepping backwards, stepping forwards, and then came the point; "And then–" He said, leaning forward and supporting Nyx's back as he tilted him back in a short dip, his heart flinching at the closeness of the two.
Nyx felt his heart speed up a little at the dip, his eyes widening a little as he stared up at Jude. It was a good thing, he realized, that he couldn't blush. Otherwise he probably would have. He stared up at Jude still, holding onto Jude, but still careful not to hurt the other male.
Jude lifted him back up to continue, noticing how fast he was picking up on the patterned moves. They turned slowly, with the tempo, "Yeah, you've got it." He laughed, hoping the fading evening light might hide his reddened cheeks. He wasn't leading Nyx anymore–Nyx was moving freely and in tune with his steps.
(gtg :) btw– have you seen La La Land? so good.)
Nyx continued to dance with Jude, smiling at him a little. he was getting the hang of it so fast mostly because of the cybernetic portion of his brain, which was categorizing the dance and helping him learn to move with it. How to dance without stepping on toes or causing injury. "Thank you." he said softly.
(Alright. No, I haven't yet)
(I highly recommend it, also, would it be ~cute~ if they fell~~on the blanket ;] ?)
(I will. Hmm…definitely lol :} )
The air around them was cool, and it tickled as they spun, slowly graduating to a faster tempo; twirling them into a paced waltz. They twisted, and turned, smiles and short laughs always in actions, spinning and dipping each other in a perfect spiral towards, and circling the blanket. But then– Jude's shoelace; caught under his foot, sending them into a tumbling fall.
Nyx yelped softly as they tumbled onto the blanket, staring up at Jude with wide blue eyes. His arms were still on Jude's arm and shoulder, and he blinked, looking up at the other male. His heart sped up a little, though he wasn't quite sure why. He swallowed, holding onto Jude still and unsure what to do.
Jude froze as Nyx's figure toppled over and onto him as they fell, slowly, it seemed, from their own private heaven. He almost smirked at the situation, what a cliché, he thought, but decided to leave it be. The next thing he felt was adrenaline, and lots of it. His heart and chest, pressed upon Nyx's, reminded him of the warmth and feeling through his being that he'd had, and craved for years, but had to refrain from– after all, it almost cost him his life. Jude prayed that Nyx wouldn't notice his erratic pulse, and wondered if the same electricity he felt throughout his veins was the same as what flowed through Nyx's wires. His mind was too preoccupied to tell him to write that down later, all it was telling him to do was 'kiss him, kiss him, kiss him, kiss him, DON'T kiss him.'
Nyx stared at him still, hoping that Jude couldn't hear or feel his own heart beating too fast to be normal. His heart was only partially cybernetic, and so he still had a heartbeat. He could feel the warmth of Jude's body against his own and God he wanted more. He knew he probably shouldn't but he wanted to feel this. Wanted to know what it was like to hold someone and be held and feel someone's warm body against his, feel their hands, their…their mouth. He was suddenly very, very glad that he lacked the ability to blush. Very glad.
(should they kiss? :} )
(eeeeeeee I don't knowwwww. I want them to but at the same time…idkkkkk. ooh maybe they do kiss and then kinda just pull away and can't look at each other and they each assume the other thinks it was a mistake and so we get some delicious angstiness?)
(for SURE)
(ooh and maybe Jude has like…a crisis of conscience or something bc he's thinking that since Nyx is so sheltered and stuff, that he doesn't really know any better or anything and so "is kissing him or wanting him taking advantage of him" and stuff like that)
(thumbs up angst is in the mail)
(smiles alright perfect)
Screw it. Jude thought and brought his lips to Nyx's. His mind was in a hazy state, and it felt like it wasn't real, like he was only half-dreaming, and this wouldn't actually affect him. It was selfish, but all dreams are, and Jude sighed deeply, letting himself get lost in it for a moment, eyes shut. No, no, no, this is real. He realized and panicked. Jude squirmed out from underneath Nyx and turned away, touching his lips, frowning. That happened.
"I'm sorry." Jude managed, his thoughts running all over the place. You shouldn't have done that, you shouldn't have done that– he doesn't know– he's not.. Why did you do that? He doesn't know what.–
Nyx's eyes went wide at the kiss, and he kissed back after a moment, his whole body coming to life and- and Jude pulled away and didn't look at him and apologized and…and where had he gone wrong? He sat up quickly, tucking his knees to his chest and looking down at the ground. "It's okay." He replied softly. Of course he doesn't want me, I'm not even a real person. I'm just…I'm too much of a machine. I don't know anything. Why would I ever think anyone like him could want something like me? But he couldn't put aside those few second where their mouths had touched. He could still feel the ghost of Jude's lips on his own.
"I'm sorry," Jude repeated, "I shouldn't have– I crossed a line." He sighed, still looking away shamefully. As much as he wanted to kiss him again, he felt regret. Nyx was so new to the world, and he felt like he'd used that to his advantage. Hell, he probably didn't even know what a kiss meant.
"It…It was my fault. I'm in a weird place right now– but um, usually, when someone does that, it means they–" Jude shrugged, "Have certain feelings for you, and I–" Do, I do have feelings like that. "I just shouldn't have done that."
"I know what it means." Nyx replied, the words coming out as a bit more of a snap than he meant them to. "I'm not stupid, Jude." He hunched his shoulders, looking down at the ground. "Sorry." He said after a moment. He felt like he could hear something else that Jude wasn't saying. Mistake. He was a mistake. You're a mistake. He swallowed. I'm a mistake. He didn't mean anything. He doesn't… He let out a breath. Mistake. That's all I can ever be to him. So stop trying to be something I'm not.
Jude nodded, "Right– yeah, I just…" He muttered, "Wasn't thinking." All his life, Jude had chased after things he couldn't have. Film, his father's love, drugs, and now Nyx. He'd told himself he wanted to help Nyx, but this didn't feel like the progress of any kind, this felt like rejection, from both sides, the piano told him. The music had continued on autoplay and somehow managed to match his thoughts of confusion, spiralling, running the keys to the edge, and then, lightness; the keys pressed lightly and slow: fondness. Regret, darkened sound from the right side, then going back and forth, again and again to uplifting feelings and negativity cutting through it, becoming its own creation sharply weaving through his thoughts. He could feel the knife.
"Right." Nyx replied softly, raking a hand through his hair and swallowing. I'm a mistake. He wasn't thinking. He would never have done something like that with a thing like me if he had been thinking straight. No one would. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and trying to relax into the music like he had earlier. To feel it again, listen and feel the rhythm. But he couldn't, because his thoughts kept spiraling down and down and down and tugging and ripping at that happy bubble that had formed inside of him, leaving shredded anxiety and fear behind.
Jude nodded. They had to move on from this. They had to get back what they had before; it was good. Sighing, he looked up at the night sky dotted with light. Jude had never been one to really believe in deities, but always found comfort in knowing that there were stories written in the stars literally, that paralleled his life.
"You see that cluster of stars?" Jude pointed, "They're called the seven sisters. In myth, they were transformed into stars because of their “amiable virtues and mutual affection” and because of the great sadness and burden inflicted on their father." He chuckled, sighing, "Figures."
Jude went from his seated position to laying down on the blanket, staring straight up at the constellation. "In another version, they were so beautiful that Orion was constantly chasing them, which made them really uncomfortable. They asked to Zeus for help, and he changed them into doves. As doves, they flew up into the sky and found a hiding place among the stars." Figures. Jude thought.
Nyx tipped his head a little. "So in each story, they are…stars not from their own want, but because of a man?" He replied slowly, glancing at Jude, then up at the stars that the other was pointing out. He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again. He still couldn't stop the clawing, tearing feeling and thoughts that spiraled through his head. He wasn't good enough, he never would be. He wasn't a real person, he was just an experiment and he could never be anything more and…he took a deep breath.