"Shut the fuck up, your ears look like Dumbo."
"First of all . . . you're not wrong."
"Apples belong in a bowl, not a pouch."
"Well, maybe you're just bad at sucking."
"Oh great. That's a great photo of your ass."
Thank you my ass is great :)
"So when are we gonna have that fight you challenged me to?" -My sweet old Physics professor to a student we refer to as Big Man
Clears throat
"Henry Clerval is a himbo, and Mercutio is a thot."
definitely did not read that in PM Seymour’s voice
I see you are a person of culture as well ;)
"You 6 foot 1 bastard, enjoy your dead knee caps"
Oh my god I said the cup ramen thing in my science class. I said: I make cup ramen doesn't that count?
Oh my god I said the cup ramen thing in my science class. I said: I make cup ramen doesn't that count?
omg that is actually hilarious,,, this guy said this today while we were taking photosynthesis notes and the teacher heard him and just glared at him before bursting out laughing
my science class is wild
today my friend and i got into an argument over who's hair was poofier(i won)
and finding nemo was ruined for us the other day
my science class is wild
today my friend and i got into an argument over who's hair was poofier(i won)
and finding nemo was ruined for us the other day
i feel like every science class is wild
How was nemo ruined for you?
have you ever learned about how jellyfish reproduce?
“Why can’t you sit in a CHAIR, like a NORMAL PERSON?”
sitting on the counter, using the chair as a footrest: “I’m too queer.”
have you ever learned about how jellyfish reproduce?
strangled voice nO
Oh just you wait it messes up that WHOLE scene
"I'm young and virginal! I can use my own blood!"
"Did you inhale too much ketchup??"
"Dude, quit hyperventilating ketchup!!"
"Ketchup can't get you high, right?"
"Bro, water is made with ketchup, stupid."
Ketchup and hydrogen. Everyone knows that
this isn't abt a high schooler but it happened to me so
this morning spencer(5 yr old who is in my morning daycare) came into the kitchen and
him: what are you doing?
me, stirring my tea: im making tea
him: why?
me: because i need the caffeine to stay awake
him: * starts laughing * caffeine.
me: ?
him, as if it's obvious: it's not even alive! but humans are
me:
me:
me: https://media.tenor.com/images/41519543235f84fb72077b275f4dfbd1/tenor.gif
"A short story of how I poisoined myself." - My science teacher after poisioning himself with mustard gas.
“Stop giving the cat a blowjob.”
Prof: If the Chinese had all of these resources, then what more could they want?
Prof, seeing me snicker in the back: Yes? What is it?
Me: They had all of those resources, but the only thing they were missing was love.
"Miss A, what's this?"
"It's my machine gun."
Me, after finding a Windows crash sound effect button: Spamming the button during Algebra
“That’s some steamy pasta”
"PUT YOUR SHOES ON"
Blasting the Imperial March in the lounge
Me: WHY
“Your child is on crack!”
“Who gave you drugs?”
“It was mom.”
“Oh you’re just gonna out me like that, huh?”
“Sharing is caring, babe.”
“This house is a fucking nightmare.”
"You're in a good mood."
"Yeah, and I didn't even need to sleep. I just took drugs….. Wait. Prescription."