forum This is stupid // OxO // Closed

Started July 25, 2019 by @Fraust

tune

Cas shrugged. "I don't know if I can learn that fast, or if I'm comfortable enrolling in school so soon. I just don't think I'll be ready."

"Then I will enroll you whenever you're ready," he planted a soft kiss on his temple.

"Thanks, love…" Cas kissed him back just as gently. "Now, where are those damn cards?"

"Over there," he pointed to the row of cards behind them and stood up to sit right behind them.

Cas turned around and examined the cards. "Which ones do you want me to read?"

"These," he pointed to the three words 'uncanny', 'dilatory', and 'martinet'.

Cas seemed bewildered. "There's no way those are actual words." He picked up one of the cards and examined it closer.

"Oh no, they are," he let out a brief chuckle. "You could take as much time as you need to pronounce them."

Cas glanced over at Sorin helplessly. "Sorin." He whined. "These ones are haaaard."

"I know Cas, but try. And if you're really uncomfortable doing so, we could try easier ones, yeah?"

Cas sighed and turned to the cards again. He got uncanny relatively quickly, but he was really struggling with the other two.

Sorin praised him for getting the first word correct, yet noticed how he had trouble with the others. "Just try to break them down."

"Di… la… dilat… or y." Cas stammered, starting to get more frustrated. "I just… I-I don't understand…"

"You're almost there," he shifted closer to him and held his hand. "Just… keep trying. Don't feel the need to rush, alright? Or you could move on to the next word and come back to that one later."

"D-Dila… tree… ory… dila… tory…" He bit his lip for a second, gripping Sorin's hand tighter. "Dilat… ory? Dilatory?"

He nodded and smiled at the other. "Yes. See? You just have to keep trying." He picked up the other card and handed it to him.

"This one's worse…" Cas started to fidget anxiously as he looked down at the card. "That can't be a real word."

"C'mon, yes, it may look hard but it's actually quite easy to–" he stopped at the realization that it was completely different for the other. "Okay, just break it down like you did the other one."

"M. A. R. T. I. N. E. T." Cas began by just spelling out the word. He knew letters, at least, but these were arranged in a completely foreign way. "C'mon, you probably don't even know what whatever this is means. It's not fair…"

"I do. It's a weapon," he simply said and pointed to each and every one of the letters. "You've got the spelling down, yes."

Cas huffed in frustration, holding the card closer to his face. "This is dumb… I'm dumb. Everything is dumb." He let the card flutter to the floor and crossed his arms.

"You're not dumb, Cas," he inched closer to him and rested his chin on his shoulder, giving him a light peck on the cheek. "You're giving up way too easily."

"I-I'm trying but I just don't get it!" Cas rubbed at one eye, which was welling up with tears, with his fist.

"Casper, you're going to irritate it," he reached for his hand but stopped and let it fall to his side.

"So be it…" Cas brushed away the forming tears. "You don't get it because you know how to read…"

"Hey, come here," he pulled him to his chest and held him tight. "I didn't always know how to read, you know. I was taught. Just like everyone else and yes, I do understand your struggle to an extent."

"Y-Yeah, but you learned years ago… You probably don't remember learning." He turned his ears back and buried his face in Sorin's shoulder. "I c… I c-can't understand it and it's infuriating…"

"I know…" he stroked his hair gently and kissed the top of his head. "But the more we do this, the less infuriating it becomes. And besides, I do remember what it was like at the time. Angels aren't built like most creatures when they're first made."

"If you know what it's like, how do you not know of another way to help? I'm really struggling here, love… I can't do this…"

"Because the way I was taught was completely… different. Not something I would necessarily recommend." Sorin stood up and scooped him from the ground to set him down on the couch. "Listen, hearing you say these things… these awful things about yourself is really hurting me, love."