forum Your personal venting space.

Started January 17, 2019 by @The-N-U-T-Cracker

tune

You never know Caustic. No matter what, stick up for your siblings and do what you think is right

Yeah I'm not sure what's right anymore? Like, I hate my sister because she's a bitch in like, every way, and my brother is borderline abusive but I still like him a hell of a lot more than my brother. He's a good guy, really, he just didn't realise that he's… _{You know… actually hurting me…}

Hmm have you tried talking to your brother?

Yeah I've kinda talked to him, my parents have talked to him, but I think he thinks he's just messing around? But the thing is, he's a seventeen year old guy who's 6'2 and pretty stronge you know? And like, I'm a scrawny fifteen year old girl who's 5'2 and who he could throw across a room with ease??

Ah well then I guess my second thought is does your brother have like anger issues or something? If not, I'm afraid all I have left is I'm here if you wanna just rant or something

No he only really hurts me when he's in a good mood, if that makes sense? Like, he can get kinda hyperactive and honestly stupid sometimes when he's in a good mood, and he thinks he's just joking. Like, I really don't think there's any malicious intent, but if I were to ever try to hit back, he'd just hit me back harder?? I honestly don't really know what to do at this point because I have a counselor who I should definitely talk to about this, but he sees my brother as well and I don't really want to talk badly about him because he might be mad???

Well, aren't counseling sessions supposed to be kept private between you and the counselor tho?

Yeah, but I feel like that would probably be something my counselor would want to work with him on, you know? Low-key abusing your sister for shits and giggles isn't really good oof

ah. but you do want him to stop tho right? i mean my morality is saying that it would be the right thing to do…

It's better than letting it continue this way and possibly progressing and getting worse. Who knows.

^^^^^^^^

I mean, yeah, but the thing is… my relationship with my brother is extremely complicated. I'd say he and I are very close
We have deep conversations, we complain about our other family members to each other, we talk about our personal lives, and I'd say I love him, I guess. But, I'm also terrified of him…

If he's not hurting you out of anger then what reason does he have to be mad at you. Let him know. Let your relationship progress. Don't let your fear rule you, Caustic

Then tell someone! You can be close and still have some issues, and letting them linger isn’t going to solve that. He probably isn’t even aware that he’s hurting you.

I'll try and talk to him at some point if I can, but I'm really scared of confrontation in general… usually I just sort of get mad in my head, but I don't start an actual conflict and then I just work through my anger myself and I'm typically okay after sleeping on it

Hm, you can try starting small. If he hits back, make a vocal proclamation of pain, make it obvious that his teasing is hurting you. Then next time, just lightly comment, “Hey, can you stop? It’s actually kinda painful.” etc etc.

I agree with Trix. Start small. That's the best way to do this. I'm proud of you Caustic, you've got this

Yeah idk. There's no guarantee they'll split up at all, and I feel like my parents don't treat my brother as well as they should. Like, I still feel like shit and I hate myself so much despite them pretty much telling me explicitly that I was their favorite. But I feel like I would be their favorite for what they think I am as opposed to who I actually am and I'm really conflicted because I think they'd be really disappointed in and hate the real me. So, I don't want to tell them obviously, but I kinda feel like I'm living a lie?

I get you with the whole parents liking who they think you are, and being scared that they won't like the real you. I am nothing like what my parents think I am. Maybe some things about the real me, but they mostly don't.

Thanks guys… I really don't think there's much I can do about my parents though, since the conversation was between my dad and brother and my mom doesn't know about it. I can't break my brother's trust, but otherwise my parents are in a loveless marriage? Like, is it cruel to let them stay married?

Mine are too. I got… I got really sad but in the end they’re staying together for me and my sister, and that’s their choice.

Yeah.
What they do is really their choice fam. Best not to interfere unless it's the only option

ok so about a year ago i moved a few states away from my hometown and it was pretty hard for me. in the first semester of that year i made a super awesome friend. his name is quincy and he's wonderful and i adore him so much. freshman year (last year) was really hard and he helped me through so much and i really appreciate him as a friend. honestly i could go on for days about how great he is. anyways, i've always felt a platonic love for him. i've thought about dating him before and obviously i think he's attractive personality and physical wise but i think since we were such quick friends and clicked so well that i didn't have a want to date him. recently, however, i walked him to his car after his football practice and didn't think much of it until he came back the next day and told me how his mom was talking about us dating and stuff. at first i thought it was funny and flattering since his mom said nice things about me but then he said "i mean i don't think it's weird" and i said "what?" and then he said "dating you". at first i laughed it off but later that night i thought about how what we could be if we were more than friends. i've been ashamed to say i enjoy that thought lately. i know he wouldn't feel the same way and he wouldn't drop our friendship if i told him i might like him but it still makes me a bit guilty. he's my best friend and i don't want to make him feel uncomfortable or like our friendship is different so for about 2ish weeks i've kept quiet. a couple days ago we went to the fair together and i had so much fun but the whole time i thought about how fun it would be if it were a date or something. we joke around a lot and get in each other's faces but when we did those things that night i wanted to kiss him or just hold his hand on a ride. i'm kinda lost in my feelings and don't know what to do so now i'm here at one in the morning, ranting to random strangers. thanks for listening i just needed to get that off my chest. if anybody has anything helpful for the situation i'd be grateful :)

Okay, so I could go all like "in my opinion". But honestly that wouldn't really be helping. Cause you and me are most likely completely different people. So, I think you should do what feels right. If you want to tell him, you can. If you don't, then don't. It's really up to you. So, do what you like. Just remember, he's your best friend, and true friends will stay friends with you even after that type of stuff happens. But honestly, do what you feel is right.

Welcome to I'm going to someone's wedding at 4 in the morning.

Oooooooffffff.

It's for my Nani and I have to see my shitbag uncle who cheated on his wife. My Nani is getting married only a few years after my poppa died.

Wow….that sucks. (I feel like that would be a bad thing to say right now, but yeah….)

AHEM

The bean.

While you're at it, look up Stuart Semple and Anish Kapoor. And also look up their feud. It's very petty.

Bean makes me feel better

The artist who made it named it Cloud Gate and gates when people call it The Bean. But it's a Bean!!! Look at it!!