Okay well. So story time my homos. For a while I have identified as Genderfluid. But most recently on guy days I feel more comfortable in my skin then if I decide to be Evelyn. I feel comfortable there. And me and Justice(my bf) dated over the summer and he basically forgot my gender identity. Annnnd I finally told him today that I may just be straight up trans and…well now he's crying in photography because he fell in love with the more feminine side of me and he can love the masculine side but he doesn't want to lose her. And I don't know what to do.
You're still the same person you were, Evs. It's not any different in my eyes (but I'm a pan boi so gender doesn't often matter so that's prolly just my opinion).
Sorry that went nowhere
It's fine. I'm pan as well. Thank you for your support
Yay another pan boyo
hugs
off topic but i just received my schedule and lemma tell ya, I'm not pleased.
LORI!!!!!!!
Are you feeling better sweetpea?
Physically? Yeah, I went to the doctor's and he used his wise sage techniques on me lol. Mentally, I'm super anxious and just a tad upset
Physically? Yeah, I went to the doctor's and he used his wise sage techniques on me lol. Mentally, I'm super anxious and just a tad upset
Thank god.
Also I believe I have something for your anxiety in PM
Okay so update: He is simply not attracted to guys. At all. And so…he's unsure. Because as fluid I was,bottom line, basically a girl but trans is a whole new thing. Augh. I can't live through another heartbreak, I won't. I can't.
I know,I know you all are. But still…he says he still loves me.
He loves you, but not the fact that you're male?
I guess? I dunno. He says I still mean everything to him. Maybe I'm not trans. I-i don't know. I'm scared, mostly.
I get that. Are you questioning it because of him?
Partly. And as fluid you question yourself constantly a lot, and find yourself wondering again and again if your trans or not. But I also really love Justice. He helps me a lot. Makes sure I eat everyday, sends me paragraphs of love when I'm feeling down, and when I'm feeling up makes sure that I stay feeling good. He makes sure I also feel good about myself as well. He's an amazing guy, and is 1 in a million but…I also find myself blaming me for his problems. Because I know I cause a lot of them, or I feel like I do. He reassures me endlessly,tirelessly, time and time again that I don't.(And just reassures me in general, always happy to love me) but i dunno. Times like this are tough.
Okay. Well, remember it's your gender, not his. Unfortunately, if you're trans and he doesn't like guys, it may have to be a friendship, Ev. I know it's hard, and sad, I know. But that's how it may have to be.
But take your time, okay? If you're questioning being trans, it may be that you need to think it over some more to be sure– And not just because of Justice.
Thank you Moon. I owe you one.
Another thing is that…we're pretty sure we're forever I mean the way things work and he wants like a kid of his own, not adopted and I want adopted. I told him one kid of his own, and that still took me a while to not be so concrete. I personally still don't want to but compromise. He's okay with one. Men sometimes are so frustrating…and commitment is another struggle and god i'm such a screw up. He always makes me feel good except…for not.
Ev, how old are you guys?
Yeah, if you're comfortable sharing!
Young. And I know. It seems…rushed. He's 16 I'm 15. I know where this is going. 'You guys have years ahead of you, give it time.' I know. But. these are still important talks to have. Times change, people change you'll say. I know that too. I know I know I know. And I also know I seem rude. I am RUDE. Anyways. I am trying to give things as much time as possible. For now I've told him to just…be patient and wait because well as a pan,genderfluid(?) I am constantly questioning and while the answer is usually no…he still should support me no matter what. If he truly loves me. And so we've agreed for now to wait, and moved on.
Of course they're important to have! They're very important. But you ARE young. And you don't seem rude. I understand the want to just have things figured out, but as you know, it doesn't work that way. He should support you, and it sounds like he will, and he'll probably still love you, too; But love comes in many different forms, not just romantic and having children and all that jazz.
There is also compromise. He wants me the way I am now…I'm working things out. I need a hug. I'm listening to Regina and she's helping soooo much.
Hey Ev
I agree with Miriam
It's your gender, not his, and also I'm sure he still loves you honey.
And I get it. Me and my partner are thinking ahead too. I know what you mean.
Anyway I'm here
Thank you all so much, you helping more than you know.
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