(I was just curious)
"That is fine," Thomas said. "That works. We don't need any problems creating stress that affects all of us in the end,
Roman said, clearing referencing the last time a problem had gotten that out of hand, which wasn't even that long ago.
"Yes, I for once can find myself agreeing with your assessment. Thomas doesn't need anymore stress distracting him from his work, after all. Patton, your thoughts?" Logan asked.
"I have to agree. I hate seeing him stressed out. I don't like how it makes us all argue with each other either," Patton said.
(Trigger warning: I torture my snek baby. Some gore involved but not too graphic so it's mostly okay.)
"I don't find myself fond of petty debates, either. Too much trouble." said Logan. That's when it all snapped.
Deceit had given up. Nothing had worked, he couldn't bring himself that sweet release from all his problems. Thomas had… Thomas had never needed him. It would be better if he was gone. But nothing had worked. He'd hung by his neck for hours, rope biting into his neck, the searing feeling of asphyxiation making his eyes water, but nothing. He'd jumped off the highest point he could find in the mindscape, waking up the next day with broken arms, a right leg, snapped neck, and ribcage. They had healed up mostly since, but still ached and reminded him of his failure. He had slit his neck and wrists, bleeding out against the sheets and onto the floor to no avail. He'd conjured poison and vomited for two days until all that was left was dry hacking, spitting up blood. He'd stabbed himself, walked into blazing fire, drowned himself, took a gun and blew out his brains, but sooner or later he woke up aching and sobbing, wondering when it would all just end. He could barely satisfy his craving for death by injuring himself, but every cut he made was never deep enough.
When would end? Why couldn't he just end?
He was lying in bed, wearing nothing but a pair of bloodstained sweatpants and a tee-shirt, which displayed all the cuts, bruises, and other injuries caused by his attempts. Maybe if he could summon the energy to get up tomorrow, he could try choking himself again, or burying himself alive.
Deceit felt his right eye begin to twitch, but didn’t move or stop staring at his plain white ceiling. At least, he knew that’s what he had been staring at, but his eyes had been still for so long his vision was now completely black. He was so tired, but he couldn’t sleep. He was going on day two and a half of not moving from his bed or sleeping.
Weird. Beds were used for sleeping, were they not? But he couldn't. At least he didn't have human functions, or at least most human functions. He'd been trying to starve himself, which seemed to be working, and if he didn't die from lack of food it would probably be the dehydration.
He was just there, but not at the same time. He didn’t feel anything, except for the discomfort at remaining in the same position for three days. Even that seemed distant though, like it wasn’t really happening to him.
So he lay there, feeling a chill set over his room but not even moving to cover himself with the blanket. Just letting the cold seep into his body, causing him to shake. But he still didn’t move. He almost didn’t even notice the cold. Being a snake, of course, he couldn't produce body heat. Son of a bitch. But as of yet, Virgil's room was the only place he knew of chilly enough to cause hypothermia.
He hadn't been attending to his duties. It was probably better that way, Patton did want Thomas to be honest, didn't he? And he'd be hurting Thomas less. But it still felt so empty.
The nightmares had come back. He'd woken up screaming every night, but now he just felt apathetic. He couldn't feel, he couldn't move, he couldn't speak.
He felt a gentle tug, then a rough dragging as he was forced out of his room at Logan's lie. He knew it was Logan, he knew the lie. But he didn't care anymore.
He rose up next to the Logical side, and immediately collapsed to the floor, hitting the tough wood. At least he could finally sleep, he thought, everything going black.
"Hoooly… Deceit! What are you doing here?" Logan shouted, then yelped when the side fell.
(Damn that was long. Please don't hate me I just got really exposition-y.)
(It's fine, and I saw this earlier, but we went to get breakfast so I didn't have the time to read all of it)
"What's he doing here?" Patton asked, looking at Deceit. "I know he's bad, but what happened to him? He's nowhere near okay!" "This is just wrong. What would cause him to go to this? It's not right!" Roman said. While it seemed weird for him to care, it was hard to hide the fact that he did seeing Deceit like that.
"Well, he appears to have been, ah, summoned. At some… falsehood. We should move him to the couch." Logan assessed.
"That sounds like a good idea," Patton said.
Logan picked up the lying side gingerly, moving him to the couch and finding a throw blanket, putting it over him. He picked up Deceit's one arm, examining it and finding bruises of greatw magnitude and many thin, red and white lines that ran horizontally up and down his arm all the way to his shoulder. Some were old scars, but many more seemed a lot more recent, dried blood still surrounding the wounds, the area around them puffed up and inflammated. He checked his wrists, seeing incredibly deep cuts, and then his neck and finding the same type of cut in the same severity. "He… I can deduce that Deceit has been doing this for some time now, maybe a year or two but he could have done more in the more distant past that has since healed over, however his activities have greatly increased in the last month or so. He's absolutely frigid, can you get some blankets Patton?" Logan asked.
"Of course I can. I want him to stop doing this to himself," Patton said as he went to get more blankets.
"Don't we all." muttered Virgil. As much as he loathed Deceit, they still had history and deep down, Virgil still cared about his friend. "I'm sorry if this, ahem, shocks you Thomas. Believe me, I had no knowledge he was doing this." Logan said. He really should have known better, seen the signs sooner….
"I don't think any of us did, Logan. If we did, we probably would've stopped this a lot sooner. Please don't go thinking this was your fault. The thing we should be focusing on is helping and trying to get this to finally stop. The good thing is we finally noticed it and we can finally help him," Thomas said.
"Its never that simple, Thomas. People who harm themselves rarely stop, as it is their only coping mechanism. Some don't know how to stop. It seems Deceit took it a little farther, however. We're not… well, we aren't real the same way you are real Thomas," said Logan, "so we can't die per se, but can cause ourselves incredible bodily harm. Deceit as of yet is the only side I've seen engaging in these behaviors, if it reassures you."
"Logan, I am aware of all of that, but honestly, we could still try. He might only be doing this because of something that's going on. If we figure that out we might be able to make it stop," Thomas said.
"I know you know, Thomas, because I know. You're getting too emotional right now." Logan said. "I think his emotions are just fine, thanks." Virgil snapped.
"Please don't start arguing. Logan, it was just an idea, okay?" Thomas said.
"And a good one at that, but we have to consider all potential for failure in any plan. And of course, how to avoid it. I know you care, and that's good." he said, wondering when Patton would get back with blankets.
"I know all of this, but it's still an idea for all of this and how to end it," Thomas said.
As he said that, Patton happened to return with the blankets. "Here you go," he said, handing them to Logan.
"We'll keep Deceit under observation, it's the safest way to keep him from inhibiting recovery." Logan decided. Virgil walked over, helping Logan swaddle the lying side in blankets and sitting next to him.
"Okay," Thomas said.
After the small conversation the room was silent for a while. There wasn't anything to be talked about with the current events.
The silence was broken as Deceit stirred, whimpering in his sleep. Logan jumped a little at the suddeness of the movement, but then payed careful attention to any changes in Deceit's actions.
Patton looked at Deceit and sighed. "I just want him to be okay. No matter all much we all dislike him he's still a part of Thomas and he can be a good person. This never should've happened."
"I don't think he's really… evil. Misunderstood, I think." Logan said.
"I have to agree there. He can't be evil," Patton said.
"Because Thomas isn't evil. Inner coach, remember? Thomas… you made Deceit the way he was. You… you made him like this…." Logan mumbled, realization washing over him.
"I never meant to!" Thomas said. "It's not like I wanted to cause this, Logan!"
"No, no, you don't like lying! It's something you've always been strongly against. Your subconscious mind made Deceit the villain. And we've all just been enforcing that, no wonder he cracked." Logan said shakily.
"I still can't believe I let it get this far…" Thomas said. "Thomas, please don't blame yourself for the current problem here," Patton said.
"Well, if we're blaming anyone then technically he's blaming himself since we're a part of him… nevermind. Roman, are you alright?" Logan asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Roman said.
"You don't seem to be." Logan said softly. "Whoa now, Calculator Watch, are you showing emotions?" Virgil gave a half-hearted laugh. Deceit's stirring grew worse, the occasional whimpering turning to full on crying, screaming out unintelligible phrases, fear evident in his tossing and turning. "No, no, STOP!!" he screamed, and woke up pale and sweating, his vision blurred and red around the edges.