Tell us, Shives!

One of your stories! Heck yes let's do it!

Alright
Let me tell you all about my brother. He is a few years younger than me and a boy. Due to past events and blackmail that is still around his nick name is snow white. He has corrected me when I was doing the hair flip thing as a joke, you know the hair flip every popular girl does when they know they are better than everyone. He even knows how to do the walk that every stereotypical woman does in movies. HE is amazing. Everyone I am friends with/know knows him and calls him Snow White. Also he looks great in a dress

Awww

That's highkey adorable.

Aww that's so cute

I'M YOUR HOPE

YOU'RE MY HOPE

LET'S SAY IT TOGETHER NOW…

I'M J-HOPE

{ARMY detected?}

{ARMY detected}

{ARMYYYYY}

{BORAHAEEEE}

{💜💜💜}

I KIND OF NEED TO VENT

GO AHEAD

OKAY

So, I'm very thankful for my friend group because they kinda took me in while I was having trouble with my other friends. I now consider myself to only be part of that group. One issue: I'm constantly being left out. Like, it's gotten to the point where we were playing Paranoia, and I asked the person next to me, "who do you think is left out the most in our group?" and she said me. Like, usually I just find out they did stuff, but yesterday I walked into the library with a friend to do an activity and guess who's there: My entire friend group.
IDK. It's just annoying, you know? Like… I'm still part of it… I think…

Do you know why? Is it because you're busy often or…? And have you ever told them that you feel left out?

So, I'm very thankful for my friend group because they kinda took me in while I was having trouble with my other friends. I now consider myself to only be part of that group. One issue: I'm constantly being left out. Like, it's gotten to the point where we were playing Paranoia, and I asked the person next to me, "who do you think is left out the most in our group?" and she said me. Like, usually I just find out they did stuff, but yesterday I walked into the library with a friend to do an activity and guess who's there: My entire friend group.
IDK. It's just annoying, you know? Like… I'm still part of it… I think…

I feel

Do you know why? Is it because you're busy often or…? And have you ever told them that you feel left out?

No, I'm never bust XD and I tried telling them, but they just denied it

I've been in a situation similar to that… it really hurt me to go on social media and see pictures or hear a bunch of inside jokes I never understood. Eventually we all kinda branched out and that made things a lot better. Don't get me wrong, we're all still friends. But meeting people that care to include you and honestly need you is a really nice change from time to time.

Hey y'all I've kinda got a lot of things to vent about

Go ahead, then.

This is the venting chat… no one has to ask to vent… just go for it

Okay cool.
So I legitimately hate my sister as a person. Like, if I weren't related to her, she's the kind of person I would actively avoid. And yet, I see her several times a week, even though she moved out. She's a self centered, ignorant, bossy, sensitive bitch, and I can't stand her.
I can't think about the future without basically having an existential crisis. Just thinking about how much longer I'm going to have to live without feeling like I have any purpose is unbearable. Thinking about the future just makes me feel more depressed than I already am (which is very).
One of my friends insists that depression is just a state of mind. I'm hard to offend, but that really pisses me off. Like, depression isn't just "The lens through which you see the world"?? It's literally a mental disorder that can't be fixed by just thinking happy thoughts?? And like, his life is so easy and he's never experienced any of the shit I've gone through, so he just can't understand what it's like to have no hope for the future.
I've hurt myself twice before. Sometimes, I want to do it again, but I'm a coward. I want to die, and at the same time, I don't, because I don't really know for sure whether I'd go to heaven or hell.
My mother doesn't really know who I am as a person. She still talks to me like I'm my sister, but I'm nothing like my sister. I think I might be a psychopath, but my mother won't take it seriously and doesn't think I display any of the traits. I don't really experience guilt, empathy, or sympathy, my emotions are volatile, and so many other things. I lied to her just during that conversation and felt nothing.
There's a lot more things, but I'll end for right now with this: My dad got me sick because he won't stop hugging me or like, touching my back even though he's sick and contagious?? And like, I'm pissed about it because I might not be able to go to the cat cafe or the new counselor I'm supposed to see tomorrow, and I really need that. One more thing, actually. My brother is basically abusive and likes to hit me, but he just thinks it's funny because he forgets that I have bad anxiety and it actually hurts and I'm legitimately scared of things coming towards me, specifically my face.
This has been my Ted talk, to be continued at some point most likely

Oh no…
Sweetie…

@Caustic_Fraust I sent you a pm…

I like that I can actually talk to you people and y'all aren't just like "Lies! You're nothing like that!" You like, actually try to help and stuff

Okay cool.
So I legitimately hate my sister as a person. Like, if I weren't related to her, she's the kind of person I would actively avoid. And yet, I see her several times a week, even though she moved out. She's a self centered, ignorant, bossy, sensitive bitch, and I can't stand her.

Mine is literally the same way, I think, maybe our view on what those words mean is different but they all apply. Anyway I wish you luck!

I can't think about the future without basically having an existential crisis. Just thinking about how much longer I'm going to have to livee without feeling like I have any purpose is unbearable. Thinking about the future just makes me feel more depressed than I already am (which is very).

I used to be the same way a few years back and I wish you luck here as well.

One of my friends insists that depression is just a state of mind. I'm hard to offend, but that really pisses me off. Like, depression isn't just "The lens through which you see the world"?? It's literally a mental disorder that can't be fixed by just thinking happy thoughts?? And like, his life is so easy and he's never experienced any of the shit I've gone through, so he just can't understand what it's like to have no hope for the future.

Yeah, depression is much more than just a crummy outlook, it can impact every part of your life. I have a pamphlet I made on how to deal with it if you want me to PM it to you man.

I've hurt myself twice before. Sometimes, I want to do it again, but I'm a coward. I want to die, and at the same time, I don't, because I don't really know for sure whether I'd go to heaven or hell.
My mother doesn't really know who I am as a person. She still talks to me like I'm my sister, but I'm nothing like my sister. I think I might be a psychopath, but my mother won't take it seriously and doesn't think I display any of the traits. I don't really experience guilt, empathy, or sympathy, my emotions are volatile, and so many other things. I lied to her just during that conversation and felt nothing.
There's a lot more things, but I'll end for right now with this: My dad got me sick because he won't stop hugging me or like, touching my back even though he's sick and contagious?? And like, I'm pissed about it because I might not be able to go to the cat cafe or the new counselor I'm supposed to see tomorrow, and I really need that. One more thing, actually. My brother is basically abusive and likes to hit me, but he just thinks it's funny because he forgets that I have bad anxiety and it actually hurts and I'm legitimately scared of things coming towards me, specifically my face.
This has been my Ted talk, to be continued at some point most likely

Again, I wish you luck, if there's anything I can do, lemme know