forum Under The Painted Sky (O/O CLOSED)

Started March 18, 2019 by Deleted user

tune

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After pulling her act together, Eden stepped into the bathroom and took out her lenses. She safely stored them in their container, blinking her eyes for some comfort. She even splashed water on her face to cool herself down. Finally, she dried her face, took a deep breath and grabbed her glasses. She picked up Razor, ran her fingers through his fur and stepped out of the room.

The second she saw Sterling, her resolve almost crumbled. Still, she made her way towards him and sat down on the couch, leaning back, making sure there was at least some space between them. Razor made himself comfortable on her lap.

Sterling’s head shot up when he felt the couch dip beside him. He gave Eden a small smile and glanced down at the cat in her lap.

“I didn’t get anything started. I thought we could pick together,” he said quietly. “This must be Razor. Can I pet him, or would he not like that?”

Eden wanted to curl up beside him. She wanted his fingers in her hair again, but she merely looked at her lap.

“He’s affectionate,” Eden nudged Razor, who had looked up from licking his paw. “You can pet him. And thank you for waiting for me.”

“I think he’s even more gorgeous in person,” Sterling chuckled, reaching over to run his fingers over the cats fur. “Soft, too. Very soft.”

When Sterling reached over, his arm brushed against hers, sending electricity to shoot down her spine. Eden inwardly cursed herself.

Razor purred, leaning into Sterling’s touch. Eden, though hesitantly, took Sterling’s hand and moved it under her cat’s chin. “There. He loves being rubbed there.”

To distract herself, she reached for the remote on the side table beside her, turning on the TV and opening Netflix on it. “What do you want to watch?”

Sterling smiled as he scratched the cat’s chin, looking up at the tv. “Well… What about an Marvel movie? I know there are a bunch on Netflix.”

“Which one, specifically?” Eden questioned, her other hand lightly scratching Razor’s back. The cat flapped its tail, purring in satisfaction. “I think they recently removed Civil War.”

“What? They did? Darn… Well…” Sterling hummed, petting the cat’s head. “What about Black Panther? That one was pretty good.”

Eden clicked on the search bar, typing ‘Black Panther’ and humming in satisfaction when the movie appeared on the side. She clicked on it, playing it from the beginning before she sank lightly in her seat, huffing as the movie played.

Razor stretched, digging his claws in Eden’s thigh, who merely sighed as if she was used to it. He licked his mouth before hopping off and darting away. Eden merely stared after him, painfully aware of how he left her alone with Sterling.

She bit down on her lip. “Well, it seems he’s had enough.”

Sterling chuckled and nodded, looking over in the direction the cat had gone before turning his attention back to the TV. “Well, he’s a cat. Cats do whatever they want, whenever they want. They’re like Loki in that way.”

“Razor is absolute sweetheart. He likes to be with me most of the time,” Eden shrugged in response. “We don’t get guests very often, aside from Lucas’s girlfriend. He gets uncomfortable after a moment. Sometimes he gets upset with me for leaving him behind.”

“He sounds a little moody, then,” Sterling joked with another chuckle. “Okay, okay. We should be quiet and watch this movie, now…”

“Yeah, all right,” Eden turned her attention back to the movie, shifting up and making herself comfortable. A few minutes into the movie and Eden’s vision felt blurry. She stifled a yawn.

Sterling looked over at the girl beside him, smiling a little. She looked tired, and she had a right to be, after what she had just gone through. He didn’t say anything, but he was there for her if she wanted to fall asleep.

Finally, Eden could barely keep her eyes open. They fluttered shut, her breathing evening as she slipped from her position on the couch and landing on something hard yet comfortable at the same time. Her glasses dug into her skin, but Eden was already lost in her sleep to take them off.

When was the last time she had slept so easily?

Sterling felt a weight fall on his shoulder, and he looked over to see Eden laying there. He smiled and carefully removed her glasses, setting them on the coffee table in front of the couch. Scooting a bit closer, he wrapped an arm around her and held her close.

Eden shifted in her sleep, sighing in content as she leaned further into his side, one of her hands resting on his chest while her legs curled up until she was nearly in his lap again. It felt so comfortable, that weight on her shoulders, the warmth, the puff of air against her skin… a small smile crossed her lips. She liked this. So much.

Sterling pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head and nearly pulled her into his lap.l before thinking better of the idea. If she woke up and found herself in his lap without knowing how she got there, he didn’t know how she’d react. Even if she had seemed to like it earlier. Instead, he just pulled her up against his side and wrapped his other arm around her.

It was dark. Eerie, strange noises filled her ears. Eden whimpered, opening her eyes but finding only darkness. Fear gripped her heart when she realized where she was, what she was doing and what was happening to her.

Blindfold.

Tied up.

Thrown to the ground, hands, and ankles bound.

Back in the same situation again.

"No," she whimpered, struggling against her bonds desperately. "Not again. Please. No. Not again." No matter what she did, the bonds only seemed to get tighter. Then she heard it, the familiar footsteps. Heavy, careful steps. Eden didn't need her eyes to let her know the person stopped right in front of her.

Her face was roughly grabbed. She was back to being a sixteen-year-old again. Scared. Frightened.

"Worthless," the voice taunted, rough fingers caressing her cheeks. "Always going to be worthless. When are you going to change, Eden?"

"I'm sorry," she found herself sobbing, fear gripping her heart. "Why are you doing this? Please stop… you're hurting me…"

"You say you've grown out of it, but love, you're still terrified of me, aren't you?" he crooned. "As you'll always be. You'll never escape from me. You're mine. You'll always be mine. I can hurt you whenever I want, however I want. Your job is to be obedient. Are we clear on that?"

She submitted. Once again, she submitted. She always did.

Toward the end of the movie, Eden began whimpering. Whimpering, crying, mumbling scared words. Tears slipped down her cheeks, and she twisted in his arms.

Sterling looked down at her, worried. She went limp against him, shaking like a frightened animal. And that’s when he knew something was wrong.

“Eden. Eden, hey, wake up. Wake up, E. It’s just a dream. You’re dreaming,” he said, shifting to grab her shoulders and shake her slightly. “Wake up, Eden.”

Pain. Fear. Terror. Hopelessness. She felt that all over again, gnawing at her skin, swarming into her heart. It doused her like ice cold water. She'd never escape. She was always going to be changed, always going to be tied up. To him, never escaping. Neverending pain.

"…up…"

Then she heard it, that familiar voice. That warm, soothing voice that brought comfort to her like waves crashing on beach shores.

"…just a dream…"

If it was a dream, why did it hurt so much? Why was her body aching so much? What did she do to deserve this? Why hadn't she realized sooner that he was a terrible person, that he didn't care? It was her fault. She was stupid. She caused this.

"That's right. You're always going to be like this," the torturous voice filled her ears again. "Dense. Shallow. Too trusting. That's why you ended up like this, at my feet, begging for me."

"Wake up, Eden."

Wet eyes snapped open, the dam breaking as tears broke through her. Eden wrapped her arms around herself, ducking her head low and breaking down, sobs wracking through her body. She hated this. Hated herself, hated what she'd become. She hated the invisible scars she supported, hated the disgusting, broken puppet she had become. Why her? Why?

“Woah, hey, sh… You’re okay, you’re safe. It’s just you and me, okay?” Sterling whispered, wrapping his arms around her again and holding her tightly to his chest. Twice in one day she had broken down in front of him. Twice he had seen her scared and in pain, even if it wasn’t physical pain. Twice he had to hold her in his arms to get her to calm down. “Remember to focus on breathing, on something else. Focus on your surroundings. Focus on me, my arms around you, my voice. Focus on the sounds do the movie playing in the background. Focus on Razor. He’s around here somewhere.”

Tears continued to slip from her eyes, the intense fear keeping its tight grip on her heart. It squeezed and squeezed until she could no longer breathe. Until she felt like she was drowning in her demons as if they were dragging her under. As if he was dragging her under, chaining her tighter, deeper. It was as if he knew every moment where she was accepting herself. Where she wasn't hiding in her past. Where she was accepting others. And he'd jump out and remind her of her place. Like he always did. She was Crystal, but she was always going to be Lead.

Then arms tightened around her and she was pressed into a hard surface. Hard, yet warm. The arms around her felt so comfortable, so warm, so safe. And that voice speaking into her ear, washing through her like cool water. And she obeyed what it said. She focused on it, she focused on the feeling of the arms around her. She focused on the heavy sounds of rain falling, of the movement of Sterling's chest as he breathed.

Bile rose up in her throat.

"Bathroom," she managed to croak out, shame filling her. Twice in one day, she'd shown him pathetic parts of herself. Parts she always kept behind closed doors.

Sterling reluctantly let go of her. If she need to go to the bathroom, he wouldn’t bother her in there. Not unless he knew she would be okay with it. Right now, though, he was sure she wanted to be alone for this.

“Go ahead. I’ll be waiting right here for you,” he promised in a murmur.

Eden barely managed to nod before she pulled herself to her feet, running to her room as fast as she could. She slammed the door shut and darted inside of her bathroom, over the toilet, and promptly puked her guts out.

Eden didn't know how long she stayed there, throwing up the empty contents of her stomach, but eventually, she stopped, only heaving. She wiped her mouth and flushed the toilet, pulling herself to her feet and staggering to the sink. She took one look at herself in the mirror and tears leaked from her eyes again, sliding down her cheeks. She collapsed on the floor, shaking, trembling as she remembered those hands on her, forcing her, hurting her, staking their claim. And even after he left, she still remembered it. It still haunted her. Two years and she was still caught up in her fears. He'd shattered her and when there was nothing interesting left unbroken, he left her behind like a discarded doll.

And she hated that tiny part of herself that still missed the warmth of his mouth against hers when he wasn't so cruel. Eden found herself at the toilet again.

Sterling flinched at the sound of the door slamming shut. And then he could hear retching sounds coming from the bathroom, and he winced. If he could just go help her, hold her hair away from her face, rub her back…

The sounds stopped for a while, and he breathed out a sigh of relief. It was short-lived, though, since it just started up all over again. The poor girl probably didn’t even have anything to throw up, now.

Shaking his head, he pushed himself from the couch and made his way to the bathroom, hesitating a moment before knocking.

“Eden… I’m just right out here if you need me, okay?” he called softly through the door.

Eden pulled herself to her feet again, taking a deep breath to calm herself down. He was gone. He left. He wasn't going to come back. He wasn't going to hurt her anymore. She could easily protect herself. She learned.

She washed her face with cold water, releasing deep breaths as she did so, the coldness seeping into her skin. Then she heard hesitant knocks on the door and a soft voice. It made her feel worse. Why was he still here? Why wasn't he leaving? He'd seen who she really was behind that tough exterior, so why was he still here? Why wasn't he disgusted with her?

He was still here. And she wanted his touch again. Eden rinsed her mouth once more, dried her face and stumbled out of the room. She opened the door and collapsed in his arms, holding him tightly as if he was going to disappear if she let go.

Sterling stumbled back a step, surprised as Eden was suddenly collapsing into his arms. And then he was wrapping them around her, holding her tightly. He pressed his mouth to the top of her hair, breathing her in and steadying his breaths.

“It’s okay… I’m here for you,” he promised again, his soft voice muffled my her hair. “I’ll be here as long as you let me.”

Was it selfish of her to want him? Was it terrible of her to do so, when he deserved so much more than what she was? When she was just worthless and he was… when he was so much more? When he did things like this, pressing his mouth on her head, enveloping her in his arms, breathing her in… it broke her resolve. Just a few days ago, she wanted him away from her. Now, she wanted him close.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered, pain lacing her voice. "I'm sorry that you have to see this, see me so… pathetic. This isn't what you thought I'd be like, huh?"

“You’re human, Eden. We all have our moments. This doesn’t make you pathetic or weak. You’re showing someone else your pain without whining about it. You’re strong that way. You’re strong for even being able to hold yourself up the way you do. You’re so strong, Eden,” Sterling whispered, pulling back to kiss her forehead before looking her in the eyes. “Okay? And I will never think of you ask weak.”