Eden's POV:
My breath hitched in my throat, my heart hammering wildly in my chest. Shit. This wasn't supposed to happen. Please tell me this was a dream. This couldn't be happening. He shouldn't have known…
"I didn't want to…" I whispered, removing my hand from his and hiding my face in them. How humiliating…
Sterling’s POV:
My eyes softened as I looked at her, though I was incredibly confused.
“Why? Did you not think you could? Babe, I know you like to keep to yourself, but there are still somethings that I need to know about you. If I had known about this, I wouldn’t have tried anything until you had told me you were ready. I love you, and I don’t want to hurt you,” I explained gently.
Eden’s POV:
I bit harder on my lower lip, frustrated. This was exactly the reason why I didn’t want to tell him.
“You don’t understand, do you?” I said quietly, shame seeking into me. “It’s not about being hurt, or being careful. Can we just drop the subject and not talk about it?”
Sterling's POV:
My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at her.
"What do you mean? What is this about, then?" I asked, trying to be gentle with my words. I didn't want to get frustrated about this, but I just didn't understand…
Eden's POV:
I stood up abruptly, running my hand through my hair in frustration.
"Sterling, can we drop the subject?" I asked again, although I knew he wouldn't. He wanted to know. "It's in the past. It happened. Can we drop it?"
Sterling's POV:
I stood slowly, still in utter confusion. "Eden… Please, can we just talk about this? I want to know what's going on…" I pleaded softly, reaching over for her hand.
Eden's POV:
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to keep away the memories from flooding me. Why couldn't he leave it alone? Why do this to me? What did I ever do to him?
"Lucas told you, didn't he?" I managed out. "Why do you even need to hear it from me? Why, Sterling? Why are you doing this? Can't you see I don't want to talk about it?"
Sterling's POV:
I shoved my hands in my pockets and let out a heavy sigh.
"Yes, he told me, but I want to hear from you what happened. I want to know what he did so that I know exactly how hard to hit him the next time I see him," I muttered, grinding my teeth together. "And I want you to be able to forget it, and sometimes talking can help with that."
Eden’s POV:
“Sterling, please,” I pleaded desperately, not wanting to go back to that time. “Stop. It doesn’t matter. I’m getting over it.”
Sterling's POV:
"I just… I'm sorry, Eden. I don't know how to drop this. He hurt you, and I hate that. I hate him for doing that to you," I sighed, tearing a hand through my hair.
Eden's POV:
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down.
It's all right, Eden, I told myself, taking a deep breath and exhaling. Talking about it doesn't help. Talking about it would make it real. It wasn't real. It didn't happen. If I don't acknowledge it, it'll go away.
Wow, I didn't know you were that selfish.
You can't deny you want it, too.
Don't you?
You're worthless.
Not worth all this effort.
I felt nausea bubble inside of me, my stomach desperate to empty its contents.
"What's the point of all this?" I found myself saying, frustrated at my weakness more so than the one who brought it out in the open. "It happened in the past. It doesn't matter, Sterling. He didn't go too far. I taught him a lesson. What more is there to talk about?"
Sterling's POV:
"All right. Fine. I'm dropping it, okay? You clearly don't want my help," I said, throwing my hands up in the air. This was utterly ridiculous. Why wouldn't she just let me help her?
Eden’s POV:
I knew I was being selfish and ungrateful. I knew it, but l didn’t want to talk about it.
“I need some fresh air,” I muttered, snatching my car keys and phone before walking out quickly. I couldn’t deal with this. Not right now.
Sterling's POV:
I groaned and sat back down on the couch when she left. Burying my face in my hands, I rubbed at my eyes. What had just happened? This was so stupid. Couldn't we just resolve this quickly?
Eden’s POV:
The second I sat in my car, my resolve crumbled. I broke down crying, tears streaming down my cheeks. Why didn’t I tell him before? Why couldn't I tell him before Lucas could? I lied to him. He knows that now.
I didn’t know how long I sat there cursing myself and trying to get rid of the memories, but when I did, I took my phone and dialed Violeta’s number.
“Hi…” I said when she picked up. “Can I crash in tonight?”
I was just seeing Irene and Christine, two of my newer friends from class, out the door when my phone began to ring. Eden? Frowning down at the screen, I picked it up and put it to my ear.
"Hi…" Came her voice. She sounded like she'd just been crying. Why did she sound like she'd just been crying? "Can I crash in tonight?"
My response was immediate. "Of course, come over right now if you need. My roommate is out again."
Eden's POV:
I sat quietly on Violeta's chair, my hand in my hair. I didn't say a word yet, and Violeta hadn't asked me anything, either. I was glad she hadn't, that she was giving me some time to collect my thoughts.
My heart ached and although I told myself otherwise, I just wanted to be wrapped around Sterling. Why did I do what I did…?
(wait did you skip to when she was at Violeta's place?)
(wait did you skip to when she was at Violeta's place?)
(Yup, I did.)
(Kk)
I approached her with a mug of hot chocolate, pressing it into her hands. I didn’t ask what had happened— it was none of my business, why should I? “Feel drew to do this whenever you need. Honestly, just show up at my door and you’re welcome.”
Eden’s POV:
I wanted to smile at her and thank her, but nothing came out of my mouth. I felt conflicted and stupid.
“I screwed up…” I whispered, clutching the mug she’d given me tightly. “I screwed up terribly, Violeta. I don’t know what to do…”
I sat down on my bed across from her, biting the inside of my cheek. “I can give you advice, if you’d like?”
Eden’s POV:
I fell silent, not knowing how to respond. How could she, when she didn’t know? I was so lost—so terribly lost and I didn’t know how to get back up on the right road again.
Still, I looked at her, silently urging her to continue.
“You don’t have to go into detail about what happened, it’s none of my business, but if you’d like me to try and help out a need to know a little. That said, don’t feel pressured to say yes, I don’t have to do anything.” She took a deep breath in. “I just need to know whether you want comfort or space right now, so I don’t make you uncomfortable.”
Eden’s POV:
I sighed, taking a sip of the hot chocolate, letting it soothe me.
“I… there’s something I should have told Sterling,” I said to her quietly. “I didn’t. I lied because I was ashamed, and he ended up hearing about it from someone else… I should have told him…”
Wait— she cheated on him? I thought, completely misunderstanding her statement. “Is the ‘something you should have told’ a personal matter?” I asked carefully, trying my best not to jump to conclusions.
(Violet 🤣🤣🤣)
Eden’s POV:
I nodded slowly, deeming it personal. Of course it was. I felt like a child all of a sudden.
“I’ve… been afraid to go further than we’ve already had,” I elaborated. “Because of that something. But he didn’t know that. I didn’t think he should have.”
(Lol)
Oh. The realization hit me like a bucket of ice water. Oh. Sympathy filled me, but I pretended that I hadn’t realized anything, for her sake. “And he accidentally found out about this… thing?”
Eden’s POV:
I sighed, nodding.
“I’m… afraid he’s angry at me,” I whispered. “He’s hurt, I know, but I didn’t want to talk about it. I don’t know how to face him anymore…”
(He's not angry with you, Eden! He's angry with your ex for doing this to you!)