forum This is stupid // OxO // Closed

Started July 25, 2019 by @Fraust

tune

"Maybe. That is, if I see him again," he leaned against the arm of the chair and looked at him attentively.

"P-Please don't kill anyone…" Cas whispered. "Not for me. I'm not worth it."

"No. You're worth everything."

"I'm really not, but if you think that, then perhaps you'll value my opinion." Cas crossed his arms. "I don't want you killing anyone."

His gaze remained for a few seconds before he looked down and shrugged. "Okay. If that's what you want," he looked up at him again, "But if anyone touches you, don't think i'm just going to sit aside and do nothing about it."

"Clearly not, and I hope you expect the same from me. I refuse to let our relationship become one sided."

"Casper, I think I can handle things myself. No need to get yourself hurt."

Cas huffed. "If you're in danger, I'm not just going to stand idly by because you don't want me getting a few scrapes! I care about you, dammit, and I'll be damned if I don't help you when you're in need!"

"No, it's not just about you getting a few scrapes! I'm not going to risk you getting severely hurt knowing that I could've prevent it from happening!"

"I don't care if I get hurt as long as I can help you! I know you know how that feels!"

"And I will do my absolute best to ensure you don't get hurt. Even if I have to lock you somewhere to keep you from doing anything insane!"

Cas flinched, cowering a bit. "P-Please don't do that again… I… I c-can't… don't leave me there again…"

"Not unless I absolutely have to… for your sake. For your own good."

"No! Don't make me go back there!" Cas pleaded, starting to shake. "D-Don't leave me again…"

Sorin took his hand into his. "I'm not sending you there now. But if it ever comes to it, I will. I'm not going to risk losing you."

"N-No… don't… don't leave me… please…" Cas gripped Sorin's hand tightly.

He pressed his lips on the back of his hand. "I won't."

"But you're gonna…" Cas choked on his words, rubbing at his eyes.

Sorin lowered his wrists from his eyes. "You'll redden them if you keep doing that," his thumb gently stroked the knuckles, "I know it's not something that you'll like. I get that. But you have to understand that i'm doing this because I love you."

"It's more than something I don't like!" Cas whimpered, tears brimming in his eyes. "It's utterly terrifying. It's like what I do when you leave me alone in a room, but far worse, and there's nothing there to calm me down. Those are the kind of panics I used to hurt myself during."

His heart sank, rendering him silent. He sat there, the strong grip that he had holding his hands loosened as he leaned back against the arm of the couch.

Cas tried to brush away his tears. "Just… please don't make me go back there… it brings me back to a horrible time in my life I'd rather forget, and I can't afford to start relapsing…"

Sorin licked his lips, folding his arms on his chest as he felt tears pooling in his eyes. He looked away. "Then what do you want me to do? I…I can't leave you with me, but I don't want you hurting yourself either."

"Let me stay with you, please…" Cas coughed a bit, his throat tightening from his tears. "Please…"

Sorin turned to look at him, sighing deeply and remaining silent for a good moment. "I don't know…Maybe."

Cas hugged him tightly and begged him again, his tail tucked between his legs.

"Only if you promise to stay behind me at all times if you or I am in any dangerous situations at all."

"I wanna help you if you're in danger, love…" Cas whispered shakily. "That's my job as your boyfriend."

He wrapped his arms around his waist and propped him up to sit on his lap. "But, Cas… I don't know…"

"Well, you want to protect me, don't you?" He looked up at Sorin. "I want to protect you too."