forum Angst o/o (closed)

Started May 25, 2021 by @Becfromthedead group

tune

(Thanks! Been a little hectic with moving into my new place, so I'm probably gonna be on more sporadically for the forseeable future, but I'm still here!)

"I-I know that's who you are, but I figure it's still only right to let you know that I love you for it," Sebastian sighed.
They leaned back and closed their eyes, letting out an easy exhale.
"My lack of refinement, my stubbornness, the way I do things and how I sometimes try to live a normal life- others do tend to find fault in it. Quite frankly, I've considered leaving here because of all the shit some of those noble bastards give me, but ultimately, it wouldn't help anything."

Adrien gave a soft sigh and kept his gaze on Sebastian, he reached up and let his hand rest on their shoulder, his eyes twinkled in the light of the fire and he inhaled slowly before he managed to say

"if they ever give you to much of a problem, just let me know, I am still the prince of this kingdom, I wont have the people I care about being treated like they're worthless by people who think I need them."

Adrien dropped his hand from Sebastians shoulder, then rested his hand around his stomach again.

"Again, I appreciate the sentiment," Sebastian replied.
He leaned his head back a bit, trying to wind down after another long day.
"But I do think I can mostly take care of myself in that department. I wouldn't have you ruin any potential connections on my behalf. Even if you don't need them, knowing the right people can make your life easier. Quite frankly, as long as no one tries to kill me aga- as long as no one tries to kill me… I shouldn't pay them so much mind."

Adrien turned his head toward Sebastian, his gaze following and landing on the other person's face.

"Alright, I do presume you can handle it yourself, but just know there's nothing wrong with asking for help. Even if you are as strong as you are, help isn't something to be ashamed of." He stated, his voice raspy with tiredness. He then gave a small yawn, and covered his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Yeah, I think I do have it under control for the most part," Sebastian laughed, "Truly, I do. For now."
They closed their eyes a bit. Sebastian's eyelids were growing heavy.

Adrien stood up slowly, his fingers lacing together behind his head, cracking his fingers, he bends backwards a little, and a loud crack comes from this movement, indicating his back was what made the noise.

"Shall we set to bed?" Adrien asked, looking down at Sebastian, and his closed eyelids.
"I must say im quite tired, I can assume the same for you." He adds to fill the silence.

He extends a hand towards Sebastian, his chest surging with an unknown emotion, something familiar, but he isn't able to place it.

"Good idea," Sebastian agreed.
He took the other's hand without a second thought. Sebastian had always been the touchy type. With lovers of course, but even with friends and family.
"I'm pretty exhausted. Especially after the war council."

Adrien gave a small yawn and a nod and lead to Sebastian to his giant bed. He then let go of Sebastian's hand and walked toward the left side of the bed, where he pulled pack the covers, got in, and pulled the covers up to his shoulders. He smiled over at Sebastian.

Sebastian settled into bed on the opposite side from Adrien. They pulled the covers halfway up their chest, leaving their arms exposed.
"Sometimes I miss having someone next to me in bed. Sure it was you for a while when we were younger. But before then, even, I had my siblings. It gets really lonely at night, yknow?" they said with a chuckle, "But I guess this is flat out seen as inappropriate between adults. But what do I care? One night won't hurt anyone."

Adrien turned to Sebastian, laying on his left side to do this. He sighed into the air and looked at Sebastian with lonely, sad eyes. They glistened and were glassy, as if he were about to cry.

"If you don't mind the suggestion, I am completely open to the idea of being closer physically…" he paused and drew his mouth into a tight line "as in, we could— we could" he stopped and looked away "you know what i'm trying to say" he said waving a hand in the air as he spoke.

"Just cuddle, like I was saying?" Sebastian asked, a little surprised but visibly interested, "Because I'm totally open to it, it's just, you know… social repercussions. But no one has to know except you."
He shifted a little closer to Adrien, very slow and cautious.

Adrien nodded grimly, but his eyes sparkled and danced. He warily moved closer to Sebastian, until his thighs were touching the other's thighs as well. He looked into Sebastian's eyes and moved his arm under Sebastians, wrapping it around his back.

Turning himself into the little spoon, but he snuggled his nose into Sebastian's shoulder.
"No one needs to know" he repeated in a monotone voice.

(We can try to pick this up again if you're interested. Trying to get back into rping again, but I feel like I keep disappearing. That said, the past month has been literal hell lmao)
Sebastian felt heat rise into his face. He gasped softly, kind of taken aback by Adrien's sudden touch, but he was happy. Blissful, even. They pressed their face into Adrien's shoulder, warm breath passing over the other's skin as they exhaled.
Sebastian fell in love a lot. It could be platonic, romantic, whatever. It seemed only natural for him to fall in love with his childhood best friend in some way. That was just how Sebastian was. Seeing beauty in essentially all people, it was so easy to catch feelings and want some sort of intimacy.
"That's nice," they said quietly, their voice muffled slightly into Adrien's shoulder.
Sebastian moved their arms around the other's waist in a gentle embrace.

(im more than happy to keep this going, and im sorry the past month has been so hard for you :( I hope everything gets better and you find a steady rhythm for coming on the site and what not. Also I know what you're going through so if you disappear for a lil while I know its because you're busy)

Adrien felt his body erupt into a singular, strong shudder as Sebastian's breath grazed his skin, giving it heat and electricity. He deepened his breath then retracted his breathing pattern back to normal.

He kept his grip on Sebastian firm yet gentle, as he felt the other person would like it that way. He lifted his head slightly to look up at Sebastian, and pushed a lock of hair behind his ear.

"Will you tell me of your family?" he asked Sebastian "I know you've told me of them before, but they seem so wonderful, can you tell me again?" he asked, his eye's wide and doe like.

Sebastian was a little taken aback by the question. It wasn't unwelcome, just unexpected.
"Oh, my family? I haven't been able to see them much for the past few months, but- but, you know. When love is all you have, you learn to have a lot of it. And for that, I'm grateful."
He shifted ever so slightly so that his posture was less stiff.
"My parents both work agriculture. I mean, all they have is their ability to do physical labor, but… but even that's starting to fade. I've been funneling in a lot of my funds, and they seem to be doing better, I think. They've always put us kids before themselves, and I just want to be able to give that back. They deserve better. As for my siblings, even the youngest has started to pull her weight. Faye has been helping around the house, mostly with cooking and mending clothes. But I do wish she got to be a child for a little longer. Lavenza has been doing well. Even if we haven't been able to meet much in person, we've been keeping correspondence. I swear, she's always been the best at emotionally supporting the rest of us."
He smiled slightly.
"The older ones are dying to get out, I can tell. They love our parents, but I can't blame them. It's hard living so crammed when- I'm sorry, this probably isn't what you wanted to hear, is it?"

Adrien shook his head, a smile plastered on his lips.

"No, I simply want to know these things, I love your family; if I must say, almost as much as you do. Your mother was always quite caring for me, she even made me a hat for my tenth birthday, do you remember? I still have it somewhere in here." He said, standing up quickly, going to the dresser and rummaging through it, he eventually pulled our a maroon colored hat, with a singular white feather attached, the fabric soft and cold.

He sat back down, placing the hat in his lap, and looked at it with great memory. "It doesn't fit anymore, but I still cherish it as much as the day she gifted it to me." He said softly.

"If I must be honest Sebastian, we have quite enough rooms here in the castle…" he started, then his eyes flicked to the fireplace, where the fire was crackling faintly, his eyes now a soft green in the light.

"We could move your family into them, and let them be taken care of, they would have as much opportunity to grow as you did, when we were little." He said with a smile. "I would move them into the castle in an instant, if I knew they would surely agree to come." He added quietly.

Sebastian smiled slightly.
"We… could always ask them, I suppose, though I'm afraid they'd refuse. They'd be more likely to accept if given work here, though. We've never really been the type to take things for free. Call it stubbornness, call it good work ethic. Regardless, while I would like that to happen, I worry they won't let it."
He cast a glance sideways.
"We couldn't take another hard winter."

Adrien sighed into the air.

"I shall write them a letter, offering them all jobs here, and pay them by providing basic necessities such as quarters and food supply." He said firmly, as if nothing Sebastian said could persuade him not to do it. "Yes and in the letter, I shall thank your mother for the hat, and we will both deliver it to your house personally." He added solemnly.

"What job do you think I should offer to each of them?" he asks quietly "I want to offer all of them the most suitable jobs for each of them." He added, his head slipping to the side a bit.

"Thank you so much," Sebastian said with a relieved sigh, "You have no idea how much this means to me. You may think you know, but my gods…"
They thought for a moment.
"Well… I'm not sure. My mother would probably do best in the kitchen. It's not too labor intensive, and she's a fantastic cook. As for my father… he could probably also do with something less labor intensive, but I'm not sure what. I'm sure most of my siblings would be happy with anything, even menial tasks. But you know, the courtyard could always use some upkeep, and I'm sure at least one of them would be willing to do that. As for Lavenza and Faye, my younger sisters… Faye shouldn't work until she's older. And Lavenza has a lot of skills that the rest of us don't. She's been studying academics, government, and philosophy, and she can read a lot better than the rest of us. I'm sure there's use for her skills."

Adrien thought for a moment, his eye's going slightly hazy and glossy with the idea of Sebastian's family living in the castle.

"I'll give your mother a job as a cook, your father could be the groundskeeper, of the courtyard, not the entire castle grounds. Your sister Lavenza could uhm–" he thought for a moment, his chin resting on Sebastian's chest, the warmth engulfing his body.

"She shall be my assistant, deal with reading my letter and writing responses, and Faye can come along and roam the castle grounds whenever, be a child for once." She said, inclining his head a bit to look up at Sebastian.

"Does that sound alright?" he asked them, his smile faltering for a slight second.

"It sounds great, Adrien," Sebastian replied, his eyes glistening a little bit.
He was not going to cry, even though he was overcome by emotion. This was really everything he'd ever wanted. With his family taken care of, he could do more of what he wanted without having to worry about them.
His chest hitched a bit with a sharp breath as he bit back tears.

(Quick rundown of siblings for my keeping track and your knowledge. I'll paste them into Sebastian's profile as well:
Faye: Younger sister, 11. Baby, must protect at all costs. Probably too mature for her age because of the family's position, and the fact she already has to do some amount of work. She's very sweet and loves to help others.

Matthieu: younger brother, deceased, would be 13, died at 2

Lavenza: Younger sister, 16. She's one of the closest to Sebastian. Very soft and quiet individual, mom friend. Emotional support sibling. She loves animals, and has also worked very hard on academics like writing and politics, the best she can with the little she has.

Sebastian: 18

Nicolas: older brother, deceased, would be 19. Sebastian was very close to him and never fully accepted his death around 17 years old.

Gatrie: older brother, 21 (twin to Risette). Aside from Lavenza, is the closest to Sebastian. He's very reserved and stoic, and he hides a lot of pain. A very heavily traumatized individual and hides a lot of his problems. He's probably the hardest worker, and will run himself ragged trying to get a job done. He was pretty carefree in his younger years, but he's changed a lot. Sebastian barely considers him the same person he was previously. He seems weirdly keen on getting away from the family, but it's more likely because being with the family dredges up the worst of his trauma.

Risette: older sister, deceased, would be 21 (twin to Gatrie). Died at 8.

Noel: oldest brother, 25. Tired dad energy. He's a good caretaker both by nature and by necessity. Very clever, knows how to get the most out of just about anything. Loves his family, but he worries that he's going to be trapped caring for others forever and will never live for himself.)

Adrien nodded and placed a hand on Sebastian's cheek, in a friendly way as if saying hey, you know I'd do anything for you.

"I'm glad I could help, I'll write them a letter explaining everything as soon as I awake in the morning, and we'll deliver it to your family together. How does that sound? I'll even bring two carriages, so your family can put their things in one, and ride back to the castle with us in the other." He said softly. He kept his hand on Sebastian's cheek and smiled up at him.

(Yeah, Lavenza is a sweetheart. And also I had some stuff written on her already, which was not the case for the other siblings. So she's better developed for sure. And obviously, Faye is babey.)
Sebastian sighed softly, clasping his hand over Adrien's where it rested on his face.
"Thank you again. I just hope they'll agree to it. Even if not at first, I'm sure I could convince them," Sebastian replied, "I'm so glad… I won't have to worry about them anymore."