forum Can somebody please help me improve this universe idea?

Started February 07, 2018 by @dabigman

tune

Can you provide feedback on this universe please?
Here is the universe:

Here are the 2 main characters (protagonist and antagonist) of the story:

Here are the five layers of the universe:

Here is the link to the obelisk in the universe (described in the notes of the universe):

HAHA I like you description of malcom's favorite animal, I'd like to think it's a hippo because they're one of the most dangerous animals in africa

I think you have a brilliant Idea just write it out and see how it goes I didn't like the fact that malcom's age was different though I feel like he should have stayed thirteen forever.

Okay. Thanks!

I think I would like more elaboration on Malcolm's incident… and more description into the everyday lives of people who live there. I mean I understand the hellish part. You made that very clear. I also like the creatures you came up with, the abominations. I think you have a very nice original idea. I think it does need to be rounded out though. You have bits and pieces of a great universe but it just needs to be filled in.

Thanks, I will try to explain more the general lives of the poeple who live in each part.