forum I'll Critique Characters!
Started by Angel
tune

people_alt 44 followers

Deleted user

These are my 3 main characters, and I was wondering if they're developed enough and believable. Do they seem like they could all get along well as best friends?
Is there anything wrong that sticks out?

Angel

@ninja_violinist
Does she not have a middle or last name?
Why don’t you add more mannerisms, nervous, angry etc
What motivates her to do well?
Why does she have her view about men? Where did this surface from?
Does she have any other hobbies outside of her duties?
What year was she born?
What kind of training? Is she skilled in anything other than being a Valkyrie?

Overall a very individual and interesting character, I enjoyed her backstory!

Angel

ruby jane
What kind of messy hairstyle? What kind of neat hairstyle?
What shape are his eyebrows?
Any specific shade other than ‘tan’? Mocha? Almond?
What is this new way of fighting? Does he have any other skills at all?
Expand on his personality perhaps?
A particular shade of red for his favourite colour? Crimson? Scarlet?
What year was he born?
What languages does he speak?
What was the castle called? What was the specific area of land that he lived in?

Intriguing character, would love to know more about where he lives and the backstory would perhaps flesh out his character further :)

Angel

@writelikeyourerunningoutoftime
You need to change the settings so I can view your character.

Angel

@CorbinB3
For 1st Character:
What texture is his hair? Wavy? Straight?
‘Pale almost tan’ is very contradicting, I’d settle on one :)
Flaws seem unfinished
What are his prejudices when he fails?
Expand on personality, is he only a positive person?
What job at Burger King?
Hamburgers with what?
What genre of records?

For 2nd Character:
No nicknames at all?
What shade of blonde? Ashy? Platinum?
Any particular kind of grey? Dark? Pale?
I would expand on mannerisms, and make them more specific actions
Expand on the personality. Is he only depressed, with no other personality features?
What does he criticise about politics?

For 3rd Character:
What shade of blue for his eyes? Baby blue? Sky blue?
More specific than ‘tannish’
What is his body shape? Muscular? Skinny?
Expand on mannerisms, be more specific. What does he do when he’s happy, sad, angry?
Add maybe 1-2 more flaws
Try to add to personality, is he only happy?

Overall a good start, intriguing backgrounds, I would just expand further on mannerisms and personality!

Angel

@MajimePlease
Is his hair wavy? Messy? Straight and smooth?
Very pale? Average pale?
What kind of scars and where?
Which languages is he fluent in?
What does he do in The Naissance?

Overall very good! Not much to change, just nitpicking really! Super interesting!

Angel

@LYNNNN
Is her hair jet black? Black with highlights? Silver or blue black?
What kind of brown for her eyes?
I would add more flaws. People don’t have only two flaws :)
Is she only good at acting?
What does INFP stand for?
What does she study? Where is she a student?
What type of cheese is her favourite?
Expand on ‘unusual’
What colour is her rat? How big is he/she?

Good start, just try to expand in her personality and other aspects. I like her backstory!

Angel

@writelikeyourerunningoutoftime
What does she research? Where does she do her research?
What colour is the wristband?

Other than those two points, I'm really impressed. Lovely detail and description. Love it!

Angel

@Celestial-B
1st:
No other names at all? No nicknames from when he was younger? Code names?
Specific kind of tan? Mocha? Dark tan? Almond?
Lots of freckles? Dense amount of freckles? Sparse amount of freckles?
He only cooks? No other things he likes to do?
The ‘fight me’ attitude is very stereotypical. Is he not friendly at all? Calm? Humorous?
What does he study?
What year was he born?
2nd:
Why doesn’t she like other guys?
Any other talents? Can she cook? Draw? Write?
What happens when she’s anxious? What makes her angry?
Why doesn’t she like politicians?
What shade of pink?
Chicken in a specific way? Chicken wings? Cooked chicken? Fried chicken?
What colour is the bracelet?
What year was she born?
What does she study?
3rd:
125 what?
Deep turquoise? Pale turquoise?
Medium what?
How big is her scar?
Why does she feel this way about relationships?
Is she good at anything other than archery?
What else does she do in her spare time?
Is she only straightforward? What is she like deep down?
What kind of God? Why does she think this?
Which side of politics is she against? Socialist or Capitalist?
What is her bow made from? What colour is it? Is it big or small?
Any specific breed of snake?
What year was she born?
What does she study?
What breed is the dog? What colour is it? Is it a boy or girl? How old?

Characters 1 and 3 seemed underdeveloped compared to character 2. Interesting backstories, but I would develop your characters further and give them more 'character' rather than stereotypical personalities. Good start!

Angel

@Larissa Boulet
What kind of style? Is it combed over? Gelled? Natural?
Dense freckles? Sparse freckles?
I would elaborate on ‘bean pole’
What does he do when he’s angry? Sad? Excited?
Any other talents, perhaps ones he keeps to himself?
Expand on his personality. What is he like around friends? Is he calm? Excitable? Stressed?
Any specific type of fish? Fish on its own?
What year was he born?
Is he educated in anything else?
How did his parents die?
What colour is Jerry?

Good start! Just could use some expansion on personality and such, but interesting so far!

@Celestial-B

@Angel
Thanks for the tips!
I actually had almost everything you talked about explained in their profiles somewhere, sorry if I didn't make it clear enough.

And I know they are a lot more underdeveloped than Lilly, she was my first every character and the main main character, I just created these guys a while ago, so I don't have exactly everything about them figured out!

Again, thanks