forum Youngest Child Syndrome
Started by @Hummingbird_Goat
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@Hummingbird_Goat

I have a secondary character, although very important to plot, who is the youngest of Queen Ashling's 3 kids. Catriona is 16. (I'm 50 for reference, been a while since I was a self-centered teenager.) She feels neglected and craves her parents' attention. So she acts out, and becomes mean, cruel to those below her station. I am struggling with how to write this. "She sneers" seems to end every sentence I write.

Mt. G router

It's been a while for me too, but here are some tips I can offer on a few aspects:

Body language: Apart from sneering, consider other gestures or expressions that can communicate her disdain or frustration, such as rolling her eyes, crossing her arms, turning her back on someone, or looking down her nose.

Example: "Catriona rolled her eyes at the servant's apology, her arms crossed tightly over her chest."

Tone of voice: Convey the tone of her voice to indicate her contempt or frustration. Use adjectives such as "icy," "condescending," "sarcastic," or "mocking" to paint a picture of her attitude.

Example: "Her voice dripped with sarcasm as she said, 'Oh, how very fortunate we are to have such a skilled servant in our midst.'"

Dialogue: Show her interactions with others through her words. She might use belittling or insulting language, be dismissive of others' feelings or opinions, or interrupt conversations.

Example: "You couldn't possibly understand," Catriona said dismissively, cutting off her sister's attempt to console her.

Actions: Describe her actions in a way that reveals her cruel nature. For example, she might ignore someone in need or deliberately create problems for others. You can brood on why she's doing them separately, but showing the actions is going to be powerful, especially after the reader starts empathizing with her.

Example: "Catriona watched with an air of indifference as the servant struggled to pick up the shattered pieces of the vase she'd knocked over in a fit of anger."

Internal thoughts: Provide insights into her thought process to help readers understand her motivations and feelings. This can help create sympathy for her character while illustrating her cruelty.

Example: "She couldn't help but feel a twisted sense of satisfaction as she watched the servant's humiliation. It was the only way she knew how to get her mother's attention."

Reactions from others: Show how others react to Catriona's behavior, highlighting the impact of her actions on those around her.

Example: "The servant's face turned red with embarrassment and hurt, but she dared not defy the young princess, who was notorious for her cruel streak."

Hope that helps!