This is my wonderful (almost) daily calendar filled with sass, wit, and hilarity, so here we are. I'll update it every day. Or at least try to. You're welcome.
January 1: Potatoes make french fries, chips, and vodka. It's like the other vegetables aren't even trying.
January 2/3: Before you complain, keep one thing in mind: nobody here cares.
January 4: I thought I needed to get a divorce and start a new life in a foreign country and then I realised I was just hungry.
I keep forgetting to update this sorry
January 5: If you love someone set them free. Now they're someone else's problem.
January 6: Don't talk to me until after I've had my breakfast beer.
January 7: Diet Tip: Allow your body to wither and turn to ash.
January 8: Don't judge someone because they sin differently than you.
January 9/10: Everything happens for a reason and that reason is entropy.