forum Pretend your characters got drunk and have them describe each other, like they're on Parks and Rec or something

Started December 31, 2020 by @Anyanka99 groupoh shit waddup

tune

I'll go first. Also they don't have to be drunk, they can be sober or high. It's up to you!
(Mine are definitely drunk tho lol)
Alga describing Tavi
"I like Tavi! He's very nice, well not nice. But we get on well enough. He's so tall, why is he so tall! I feel like he thinks I'm an idiot but I sort of think he's an idiot too so maybe it's alright?"
Rothos describing Nim
"It's become very clear to me that Nim hates me and I don't know what to do about it. I understand being scared of someone like me, given all of our circumstances but I've proved my loyalty to everyone else, why can't he see that!
Tavi describing Alga
"She's nice enough I guess. I think she needs to be more careful, she trusts us all way too much. Not that'd i'd like… do anything. She's my friend, but damn that girl is naive.

Corin describing Caleb:
"He's just a big idiot. Wait no! He's an Idiot! Did I also mention that he's an idiot?"

Shea when she's very drunk:
"Bianca is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo coool. I mean she has a pewpew gun and never misses -hiccup- plus she's very badass… yes… hmm? what was the question? oh yes paisley is like my sister… no she's not my sister don't be ridiculous -hiccup and a burp she likes pigs and I like bats. Yes. MR BARTNEDER I REQUIRE ANOTHER BEER! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WONT GIVE ME ANOTHER ONE DO YOU KNOW WHO YOURE DEALING WITH- oh hi Bianca when'd you get here"

Jaq about Bastian at anytime : "He's a tall lanky idiot. But he's my tall idiot."
Jaq about Queen Uzula: "ShE THINKS SHE CAN RULE OVER WITH AN IRON FIST?? I'll show that tiny goblin what for!"

Hans describing Wren:
"Ok so she's tall, like… a tree, she's a tree, wait no, that's her uncle uh… she's tall looks like Cruela deVil's long lost cousin, she's got skunk hair ok? And those bigass owl looking eyes, she's also a bitch, a complete and absolute bitch and I'll die for or by her cause that bitch's got my respect, that girl's got canons for arms I'm telling you, I swear she'd be the best inlaw, not that I'm dating her cousin but man I wish, Wren is best inlaw…"
Reese describing Penny:
"See, she's my sister but she's nothing like me like… I have a twin but we don't really look alike and Penny is even wordse cause she's a fish and ya know… she's also grey and got claws and fins and we all got fangs ya'kno what I'm sayin? But hers are bigger and I swear that girl was born shredded, man, she's got them lungs,I can tell by the times she's yelled at me, but I luv her, luv my sis, best piranha shark looking angler fish lady…"
Aura descriging Eli:
"Tall nerd, lovely tall nerd, love those glasses, why is he so awkward? Why do I find it cute? Sweet nerdy husband, why did we take so long to marry? I don't care about the withe big eyes, those are nice and noodle limbs, funny laugh, pretty smile, decades of marriage well spend, darling can cook…"

Bee to Liam
"He's like…my…tall sunshine stick. Nonono- glowstick. Yeah. He's a tall glowstick. He has really shiny hair. And his hiccup smile is really white and bright-"
Liam, sitting RIGHT beside her, not drunk because he's responsible
"Shut up-"
"Why? Who ARE you?"
"Were going home."
"I'M only hiccup going home with my HUSBAND!" bangs table
"…How are you SO STUPID?"

Peregrine, about Estella:
"She's an idiot. But mine. My idiot. Her hair's nice. I like it when she sings. But her lipstick gets all over our cups. But I still love her, 'cause she saved my life once. And 'cause she's pretty too, and nice. It's good that Father and Papa both like her, she's a lot like Papa."

Estella, about Peregrine:
"Th' love. Of. My. Life. Her eyes, they're all pretty n' yellow, like- like a cute little cat. But cats can also slice you up. Just like she can. She's a cat! A pirate cat! And her dads are cool, too! I'm writing songs 'bout her, that's how amaaaaazing she is!"

Destrian, about Sadon: Nice. Real nice. And somehow like…rational? I dunno how he does it. And he's got really pretty green eyes…he's nothin' like his grandfather. His grandfather's an asshole. Sorry, this was about Sadie…he definitely doesn't hate me, at least. I mean, I sure hope not. We're gettin' married soon.

Sadon, about Destrian: Solid idiot. Very pretty, very nice to look at. But an idiot through and through. And tall. And kinda scary. Scratch that, real scary. Like the time he thought I was gonna die…or the other time he thought I was gonna die…yeah…but he's got real nice hair, all soft and curly.

Frog, very high, about their friends:
"Dick? Oh he's nice. Not in love with him, noooo sir. He keeps telling me I'm not. Every once and awhile I get confused, but nope. Just friends! But he's sweet. A little weird, but sweet."
"Juniper has a flat ass. He'll disagree with me, but Dick won't. Probably not in love with him either. I can't tell anymore, not gonna lie. I like him though! He's a good dude."
"Aww, I love Shiloh! She's a great roommate…I like her. Her hair's always so fancy, but nope, don't touch it. Invasion of privacy right there. I shall admire from afar."

Oboe about Lucky
"I hate his… overdramatic, nihilistic, not-a-two-shits-given ass. He's just… so rude… to Flamingo. Why's he so rude to her? He just… ignores her and shit. It's very, very, very, very obvious that he doesn't like her, and for no reason! All she's ever been to him was nice! How could you not like her, when she's so peppy and cheerful? I guess Lucky just doesn't like people with positive attitudes… what a mutt."

Darling about Oboe
"Oboe? Oboe? That fucking runt, Oboe? They never have anything nice to say about ANYONE! Unless, of course, they're talking about their LORD AND FUCKING SAVIOR, FLAMINGO. Because, according to Oboe, Flamingo is the one who died on the cross for our sins, and she's the one we were supposed to be worshipping this ENTIRE TIME. They call me Lucky's lapdog, but if that isn't hypocrisy, then I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK ELSE IS! I'm pretty sure the only reason Oboe has for being alive is to leech off of other people's existence. The fucking cockroach had to call Flamingo to open a can of beans for them. They wouldn't be able to live without someone taking care of them, and that wouldn't really be a problem if they didn't TALK SO MUCH SHIT. IT'S INFURIATING. I wish one day we'll wake up in the middle of the night and just… leave their ass behind. Maybe if we're lucky the wolves will get them."

Lucky about Flamingo
"I mean… I don't really hate her. My main problem with her, really, is the fact that she broke into my home, stole from me, and then nearly killed me. Although, to her credit, she didn't know it was me, because… well, that was before we had ever met. But, it's not like I want her dead, really, it's just that she… basically ruined my life. So, I don't like… I'm not a fan of befriending the person who stole a very powerful weapon from me that I labored over for years. Also, not super into the fact that she almost killed me and gave me a bunch of burn scars."

Flamingo about Oboe
"They're my best friend! We're super close and we do everything together! :)"

Drunk Hikari about Minjun:
"Did you ever think you could put 'sexy' and 'asshole' in the same sentence? No. You couldn't. Yet here is Minjun, the sexiest asshole of them all."

Drunk Kaito, who is probably weeping, about Fintan:
"I'm about ready to punch him in the face next time he does one of his dumbass pranks. I am the ONLY one with any sense in this team! Everyone else thinks he is SO FUNNY."

Drunk Fintan about Kaito:
"Sometimes, I think he needs a hug. So I give him one. He gets so mad at me. Probably because I set his hair on fire for fun."

Drunk Mitya about Larsil:
staring straight into the camera, unblinking, eye twitching "He cannot… BE TRUSTED!"

I had to do these two boys. They think so highly of each other all the time, they'd be too damn cute when talking about each other while drunk.

Duxe about Tyler:
He has floofy hair. I loves the floof. I pet the floofs. He cooks a lot, but it's good though. He makes me grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, when I'm hung over. He's mine. He's a fuckin angel. I think he fell from heaven. Just (makes a crashing sound) straight from the clouds. (Processes what he just said) OOOOHHHH, that explains why he looks so goddamn good all the time.

Tyler about Duxe:
Duxe's hot. He so short though. (Yells into the other room) Duxe, why are you so short!? Ehh, he cute. He got pretty blue eyes. (Pauses) They're like mine!! Awww, we have the same colored eyes! (Yells again) Duxe! We both have Blue's Clues eyes!! Wait, no…We both have blue eyes!! I love him. He's my boy. No one touches my boy.

Nightshade describing Stormchaser:
Nightshade: He's a bitch
Stormchaser: Aw you're so sweet
Nightshade: AIGHT COME HERE YA LITTLE SHIT