forum funky small town mystery (first chapter) - leave me a critique :)
Started by @n o s t r a d a m u s location_city
tune

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@n o s t r a d a m u s location_city

Hey, pls leave a critique of my first chapter. Be as harsh as you want.

Rural Australian mystery/haunted house type story following a family after they inherit the family home in the wake of a tragedy. I did intend of the first chapter to be twice as long as it is currently, but I ended on an impactful line so decided to keep it short so that it could end with a bit of a punch.

TW — su*cide — TW
please don't read if you think that sort of thing will upset you (the depiction is not graphic in any way but i don't want anyone who thinks they might be affected to regret reading this)

For those of you who don't know, I'm a film student. I have a screenwriting II elective coming up so to get ahead I decided to write a story in novel form because that's what I'm best at and then turn it into a screenplay when it's time to submit my final assignment. I've been on this website for years but I took a reeeaally long break.