forum Character critique thread
Started by @MoreSushi group
tune

people_alt 60 followers

@MoreSushi group

People are always either "Critique my character!" or "I'll critique your character!". So I decided to make a thread for all of the character critiques. eople can submit up to 3 characters to be critiqued, and people can critique the characters they submit, and also add their own.

@threesacult group

@definitelynotaveg I checked out your character Rottie! I don't have time to look at Xeriot right now but I'll get to that as soon as I can :)

Overview: Everything looks good here!
Looks/Outfit: Pretty good, for the most part! My only recommendation is that you not skip over the General Description part. This can really help show the general vibe of the character, if you catch my drift. Like the first things you notice when you see them.
Nature:

  • The mannerisms you have are solid, but adding a few mannerisms he has when experiencing negative emotions would be helpful. What does he do when he's frustrated, or annoyed? That sort of thing.
  • His motivation is a little unclear. Does he want to be remembered for something, or is this a sort of nihilistic view? When you say "someday it will all be over" do you mean death or the set of circumstances he's in currently? I apologize since I can only read the English translations, so it might be that it just doesn't translate well from Polish.
  • You might want to touch a little more on why he "kills in cold blood", and why he thinks that it's sometimes unavoidable.
  • Is there a reason he has those particular phobias? There may not be a cause, but if there is it'd be good to write them down somewhere.
  • These are mostly small things; you did an excellent job of describing his personality in this section!

Social: Everything looks great here!
History: Also looks pretty good. Be sure to write that background!

All in all, I think Rottie is a really interesting character! Most of the things I found are pretty small.

@tomat brightness_7

@Onnex thank you very much! I am aware that the translation may have some errors, but I tried to translate everything I was able to as close to the original text. He's still in development, so I'll keep everything you said in my mind!
(also Rottie is a diminutive used only by his closest family but it's so cute when you say it!)

@algalithe I checked Rothos and I have to say that he has a very rad name! It gives of a posh vibe and it really suits him.

The first thing that bugs me is the "white?" part. Why the question mark? Are you not sure about his race? I know that you may be in the process of discovering your characters' personalities and appearances, but I think that you should be confident in your answers. Don't be afraid that you may get some things wrong - it happens all the time, to every one of us. Besides that, the overview and looks are fine to me.

The nature section is kind of chaotic. His mannerisms are described well, but the rest lacks details, especially hobbies and flaws. Dig deeper. Maybe more hobbies? Hidden flaws? You can always add more fields and flesh him out (don't forget the question marks!).
I really like that his motivations change. His talents are impressive and useful. His social section is also well written.

His history is interesting. After reading it, I immediatly wanted more details and I'm curious what happens next. That's a big plus.

Overall, I think he's a good character. I would like to see some more details and more developed personality. Good luck with working!
Veg

@MoreSushi group

I really want to share my characters but I'm worried that y'alls will dislike them. I've seen what people can do here, and y'alls seem to be much better writers than I could ever imagine myself being.

That said, you're pretty good at giving constructive criticism. So I'll consider sharing my characters when they're more developed.

@Anyanka99 groupoh shit waddup

@definitelynotaveg
thanks for checking him out! I think the White? is from when I first got on the site, and wasn't sure why there were two fields for race so I just threw some words in there and forgot about it. I have now changed his race to Jelkan. Thanks for pointing that out, I never would have noticed probably!
I checked out Xeriot, and first off I loved that he's ace that made me happy! In general, I love that there's so many queer characters on this site but that's a whole nother post :) I'm getting serious vampire vibes from him, I do have questions about what he is though. I like his mannerisms, very clear, and well written. I feel like there's a lot that I missed from the translations into English but that's not your fault. I would love to learn more about his background when the time comes :)

@threesacult group

@Onnex thank you very much! I am aware that the translation may have some errors, but I tried to translate everything I was able to as close to the original text. He's still in development, so I'll keep everything you said in my mind!
(also Rottie is a diminutive used only by his closest family but it's so cute when you say it!)

@definitelynotaveg no problem, hope I was useful in some way!

@threesacult group

@Bugz26 I checked out Vincent! Here's what I thought :)

Looks: Pretty good here, but I recommend filling out the general description box! It goes a long way describing the vibes of your character, what people notice first when they see them, etc.
Nature:

  • I like his hobbies section!
  • His personality section is really good, but I'd touch a little more on why he's desensitized to death and why he doesn't think about the future.
  • A few more mannerisms would be helpful!
  • This is one of the more solid Nature sections I've seen. Great job!

Social, History, and Family: Everything looks fine here!

Vincent is a really well-written character! There are a few places where you could elaborate a little more, but overall you did an awesome job.