Hey! I've been working on how to create realistic characters for awhile now, it used to be something I had a real problem with. I worked hard on it for a few years, and I have confidence in my ability to help hone your character's personality, quirks, flaws, motivations, arc, and more! I'd love to help.
I'll write down my thoughts as I go along:
- How long is her hair? Is it just cut straight? Does she have bangs or anything? Does it appear to be thick or thin?
- I like everything you've written down in the "Nature" section, it's really good. But I feel like it could be taken to the next level by adding a little more detail. Individual humans are pretty diverse in their habits, dreams, flaws, etc. While what you've written down stays consistent and really works, you don't want to have to stick to those things and those things ONLY the entire book. Then she'll feel very limited. But the opposite can happen with a small amount of detail in the profile, too, which is realizing she could be more and then just writing whatever you want when you actually write the book, realizing later that her personality has now become contradictory. So I think for Mannerisms, ask yourself how you can give her physical quirks that make her stand out from the other characters on the page. Just little things. Maybe observe your friends and ask yourself what they do that differentiates them all physically. For motivations, you don't necessarily need to add more to that, her blind loyalty seems to be important to the plot and adding in any other goals or dreams might interfere with that. For flaws, are there any people you know that are like Carissa? List out all of THEIR flaws, and then see if any of them can work for her. The more the merrier, lol (gives more opportunity for character development). We're all messed up. XD And a lot of times, we'll have ONE deep-seeded problem that we always struggle with but which manifests itself a ton of different ways. Say if someone has a self-control problem. That could come out literally ANYWHERE. You don't need to flesh out talents, since too many might make it weird. But for hobbies, most people are interested in a ton of different things. You don't have to limit that list to what she does on a regular basis (even if she doesn't really do them often, you wouldn't consider that a hobby, but I say "whatever" to that), because whatever information you can add on to your character's likes and dislikes will flesh her out.
- I noticed that you didn't put in the personality section. I usually put these three things there: a quick summary of everything I already described, how they perceive themselves, and how others perceive them.
- An anarchist? Interesting, wonder what made her one. I have a side character in my novel who's a low-key anarchist, and I always find him hilarious to be honest. :P
- Why doesn't she sharpen this favorite dull dagger of hers?
- "Goat." LOL, I dunno why, but just writing "goat" with that period made me laugh.
- "Carissa´s ability is omnipotence at the price of pain, she inflicts pain on herself ie cutting herself and she can perform a simple task ie creating an apple. The power produced is dependent on the amount of pain she feels." Dude that's a cool power with an interesting dynamic. I love how my imagination just soared with that little bit of info.
- Poor Carissa shouldn't have been practicing in public all that time…
- WOW YOU REALLY GAVE YOUR ALL IN WRITING THAT HISTORY DANG. I'm so interested. Andnow I know why she's an anarchist.
Other than what I wrote above, she's a great character and I love the story. It has great potential, keep writing!
Carissa doesnt sharpen her knife because a dull blade hurts more than a sharpened one and the more pain the more she can do. Now im going to go put some thought on your advice for the Nature page. Thanks, I appreciate the effort you put into this. :)
Ah that makes sense now. And no problemo. :)
Please help me. I saw the critique that you gave to Carissa. I was AMAZED. Can you do that for these three?
Work your magic!
Hey, @Masterkey could you give me some advice on Zenith, my OC? I'd really appreciate it. Thanks in advance!
Hey guys! Sorry I never replied! I think I had to stop doing notebook.ai cuz I started college. Anyway, I'm graduated now and remembered this existed. You probably won't see this, but I'm sorry again!
I'm not in this thread but I just wanted to say welcome back!! Congratulations on graduating! I remember you from a while back, though this is a new account so I'm not a very familiar face.
Hey thanks! That's pretty cool that someone remembers me, it's good to see people from way back sticking it out on this community. I'm glad to be back. :)
Yeah, definitely! You're probably one of the first individuals that I noticed on this platform :) but yeah, personally I also took a year break for reasons. Glad to have ya back though!
Ayy nice :)) I look forward to crossing paths in the future on here