forum Poetry Critiques

Started January 25, 2020 by @Im-just-here-idk-what-life-means group

tune

Come one, come all, anyone can share their poetry here!

My kind sisters, you always make me laugh.
Older or younger, we stand strong through all.
One likes dolls, one likes games, one likes giraffes.
I have so many, I love all of y’all.
Sister one, two, three, brother number one.
You all are smart, but so am I, haha!
We always like to have a ton of fun.
Sometimes we fight, and y’all say blah blah blah.
But no matter what, we love each other.
Sisters are great sometimes, other times not.
I love each one, just like I love Mother.
I have never given it so much thought.
I am glad to have sisters, I love them.
This is the end of a heartfelt poem.

Midnight Moon
People in a room,
All of them sealed to their doom.
They will die soon,
But not before the midnight moon.

Pain
This abysmal rain,
it matches the sound of my pain.
I try to run,
but I can't escape from it hun.
Now I'll let my blood run down the drain.

Nice! Like 'em both! Honestly, I couldn't do anything to change those. :)

Crows

Rags cast about in the wind,
Above a carpet of soil,
Wheeling down,
To peck,
Heads bobbing in unison,
Toys,
With clockwork hearts.

Echo

The walls of the tube station are curved,
Perfect for echoes,
Hello! You cry,
Goodbye! The echo replies.

Candle

A woman stands,
Tall,
In a dress of white wax,
Her hair ablow,
The colour of sunset.

Rain

The rain is a tapdancer,
Tip-tapping on the rooftops,
In a coat of mist,
And shoes of mud.

All of them are very good! Nice work

Very poetic, lol

@jackelope12 Thanks!

Oasis

For smoke I can't agree to hold Isa's disdain
Cigarettes are back to his embrace I senseremember being warm and safe and small
Melvin gives the best hugs
Out by the water-station - filling up bottles
"You're family"
To a lonely little pig-tailed not-yet of a person barely a being thanking Gentle Giant for a place to sleep
Grateful for drink
For rest
For love
When Giant laughs it takes her by surprise
"You're family"
A dismissal
An explanation
And reassurance
Enough to make a tiny pig-tailed heart fill with the thin stuff despite dry night air
And I don't feel so lonely anymore

Oh wow. I completely forgot I made this xD

Nice, @CoolBeanz! Very poetic and expressive. :D

Thanks!