forum Journal Critiques
tune

people_alt 53 followers

@SupernaturalSyGuyLovestheWinchesters group

I have three different journals that three of my characters wrote. Some of the entries appear in the story, but they mostly act as a backstory for the main character. I would love of we could go in entry order; I post the entries, they get critiqued, repeat until we reach the end where you then critique the whole (using your previous critiques as reminders of what you thought and felt. We'll start with his parents' journals before going into my main character's journal.


The Journals

JOURNAL OF STARK TENEBRIS #1
Today I have laid my eyes upon quite a beauty. Her hair was long and brown with a tinge of red. I sadly was not able to see the entirety of what she looks like. I have been told that she is not of noble blood, but she still made my heart quake with something that I have not felt for any other outside of my family. I must find a way to meet her.

JOURNAL OF DEBILIS RENIDENT # 1
Today is the day; my family is taking a trip to see the inner workings of the Tenebris kingdom! I am so excited that I cannot sleep, no matter how hard I try. I have heard rumors that the prince is very handsome. I hope that I can lay my gaze upon him, or get him to notice me. I have packed the finest clothing that I own, along with beauty enhancements.