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Started by @Knight-Shives group
tune

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@Knight-Shives group

Chapter 1

"The Princess, of the Ollyble Kingdom, was taken. She resides in a tower which is believed to be guarded by a dragon. Many people want to go and rescue her but the majority has no guts. I elect that the Prince of our kingdom, Tamor, goes and rescues this princess. When he brings her back we will ally with the Ollyble Kingdom and they will get married."

The room cheered and agreed. I agreed too, marrying a beautiful princess and strengthening kingdom bonds what could be better. "I will go at once. But father will I be journeying alone?"

"No, I will tell the general to send a knight to assist you."

"Of course" I sighed. I would need to get some supplies. So I bowed and walked out of the room to go to the armory, I would need a sword of course if I was to maybe battle a dragon.
Slowly I descended the stairs down into the armory. The swords were on the far wall of the room, I moved over to them and picked up one of the plain swords it looked sturdy enough.

"I wouldn't suggest that sword, Prince Christopher."

I looked over at a knight, he wore the light, silver armour that knights would wear when on guard duty. He also wore a helmet, like all the other knights, the helmet hid his face and features from view. I glared right at him, "I don't care about your opinion low class knight." I scoffed at him then picked up a nicer sword that had crystals all over it. He looked at me as if he was about to say something to me but I stopped him. "Let me guess I shouldn't use this sword either." I said to him sarcastically then turned and left. The knights are so full of themselves, all about themselves all the time.

I looked over the map, it showed a route that the captain of the guard and my father the king agreed on. But really it was a bit of an excessive. Why go through the trench of sirtle like they said when I could just go through the sream forests. The path they chose was so inefficient why would anyone want to go the way they choose when there are faster ways to get somewhere, it wasn't like the tower was in a very dangerous land it was just guarded by a very dangerous thing, a dragon. Maybe I should read up on some dragon lore, just so I know what I am up against.
Slowly I walked out of the study and to the library down the hall. Nobody other than those trusted enough knew of the quest I was on, so I walked over to the maid that was putting away books. "Hello there miss." I said to her when I got close enough.

"Oh, hello your highness."

I watched as she bowed deeply then smiled and nodded my head so she may stop. "I am looking for books on dragons, where are they?"

"They are over there, may I ask why you look for them."

I looked where she pointed then looked at her. "No, but all you may know is that I have reason to believe they are not all completely gone." I said to her in a serious tone then swiftly turned on my heel and walked towards the area she pointed to. There were tons of books on dragons here, I grabbed like four.
Sitting down in a chair in the corner of the room I opened a book and was immediately bored out of my mind, people do this for fun. What type of lunatic does that. I tossed my current book aside and looked at the others, all of them were so dry and boring. Books are so boring. Maybe someone in this useless kingdom will know something about dragons. Maybe even one of those lowly servants, the thought of asking them though makes me want to gag. My father or the captain of the guard may know something, they are old enough to have been alive when the dragons were alive.
The king was in his personal study with the captain of the guard, great, both of those egotistical maniacs in one room. I could feel the control as I walked in. "Father."

"Hello Christopher, what is it. I am a bit busy."

I smiled in annoyance, aren't I more important I am the one going to rescue that princess. "Tell me about dragons I need to know all I can before I go and face one as I retrieve the princess."

"Have you tried reading a book, they could tell you everything you need."

I glared at him. "Of course I tried that but do you know how big those things are, and how boring they could be….." I whined a bit to my father.

"I am currently busy, so you could just go and read a book and find out everything you need. Now get out of this room!"

I turned walked out, defeated. Back to the library I go, to read those boring pieces of parchment that we call books. I flopped down back into the chair and reopened the book, I have nothing else to do right now, so why not just read until it kills me of boredom.
I believe I blacked out… so I guess reading can bore you to sleep. Good to know for next time I can't seem to sleep, the perfect cure to insomnia, books. I looked up and saw the knight from before, from the armory. He was just sitting in a chair at a table not too far from where I sat. "Excuse me but what are you doing here?" I asked then quickly got up. I got up too quick. Bad choice, everything went black suddenly.
I felt something and wrapped my arms around it not wanting to fall. As my sight slowly came back I saw what it was, or who it was. It was the knight, I removed my arms from around his neck and stepped back.

"I was sent to go find you, saw you sleeping and decided not to disturb. So I read a book. But now that you are awake, I can tell you that dinner is probably starting now."

I growled then walked out of the room not replying to him at all. I walked to the dining room and sat in a chair. I could tell I was late because everyone else seemed to have already started eating their dinner. "Hello there Father, Mother, Sister." I said politely to them as I sat down.

"Hello dear, it is good to see you."

I smiled in response then started to eat my dinner. Everyone was silent for the rest of the meal. Nobody ever talked, my sister, Lilly was the first to dismiss herself. Soon enough everyone else left and I sat there alone at the table. The maids had cleared the table but I just hadn't gotten up yet, I just sat there thinking. Thinking about her, how she will act when I rescued her how she will feel. Ugh when will I go when will I go rescue her from the confines of her tower.
I got up from my chair and walked up the stairs to my room. I opened the door slowly then shut it quickly and went over to my bed and flopped down onto it, exhausted.

@Periwinkle_

First thing I noticed: the tense and formatting switch back and forth a lot. Is it past tense or present? Do you want a space after all of the paragraphs or not?

Many people want to go and rescue her but the majority has no guts.

this part needs a comma. It should look like this: "Many people wanted to go and rescue her, but the majority of them didn't have the guts." or "Many people want to go and rescue her, but the majority of them don't have the guts."

"Of course"

"Of course,"

So I bowed and walked out of the room to go to the armory, I would need a sword of course if I was to maybe battle a dragon.

"So, I bowed and walked out of the room to go to the armory; I would need a sword of course if I was to maybe battle a dragon."

Slowly I descended the stairs down into the armory.

"Slowly, I descended the stairs down into the armory."

The swords were on the far wall of the room, I moved over to them and picked up one of the plain swords it looked sturdy enough.

"The swords were on the far wall of the room; I moved over to them and picked up one of the plain swords it looked sturdy enough."

Similar errors are throughout the bit. Basically, if you are going to merge two full sentences without a FANBOY (and, but, or, etc.) and a comma, use a semicolon. For example, "The cat jumped over the fence. It attacked the dog." Can be written two different ways:

"The cat jumped over the fence, and it attacked the dog." or "The cat jumped over the fence; it attacked the dog."

Deleted user

I have to be honest, so please don't take it negatively. Criticism isn't easy to take, but I'm not trying to shame you.

There are many places you need to work on. I don't want to be rude, and I'm not insulting you and your work, as I said earlier. It's good, but it's not great. I would take a few examples and show you where you went wrong, but I don't want to put too many changes in your story.

But! There is one spot I feel like you could work on.

I looked over at a knight, he wore the light, silver armour that knights would wear when on guard duty. He also wore a helmet, like all the other knights, the helmet hid his face and features from view. I glared right at him, "I don't care about your opinion low class knight." I scoffed at him then picked up a nicer sword that had crystals all over it. He looked at me as if he was about to say something to me but I stopped him. "Let me guess I shouldn't use this sword either." I said to him sarcastically then turned and left. The knights are so full of themselves, all about themselves all the time.

See, this paragraph not only contains many punctuation errors, but it's also very… bland? If I were to write this, I would choose to write it like this:

I looked over at the speaker and found myself in the presence of a knight. He donned a light, silver armor worn when on duty. His helmet covered his features, hiding his face from view.

Perhaps even mention a weapon? So…

I looked over at the speaker and found myself in the presence of a knight. He donned a light, silver armor worn when on duty. His helmet covered his features, hiding his face from view. A sword was strapped to his back, the scabbard silver, gleaming in the low light.

Now, a paragraph break would be appreciated. Also, be sure to give specific thoughts of the narrator, not just the actions.

My features schooled into a glare, eyes narrowed in disdain. Who was this knight to tell me which blade I should choose? I scoffed at the impudent knight.

"I don't care about your opinion, you low-class knight," I said slowly, my voice bitter, as I reached for another sword. It appeared to be better than the others present, prettier, even, with the crystals decorating it.

Now, earlier on, you said the knight's face was covered, so you can't see what he looks like. Therefore, you can't see whether he's going to say something or not. You can't see his face. Also, since your character seems to think of himself as superior, you should have the knight feel a bit intimidated. Furthermore, Prince Christopher 'guessing' what the knight is going to say is a bit… too much? It's not princely, per se. Also, your story goes on and off from formal to informal and back and forth. You need a fixed tense as well. You can't switch from past to tense to future tense. It doesn't work that way.

Sorry about the really long essay. I really don't know how to give more pointers, since it's your story and I don't know much about it, plus I don't want to discourage you. Please keep working hard! It was a good read.