forum Any opinions on my character?
Started by Grace

people_alt 7 followers

Deleted user

Lovely character you've got here! Couple things though:

  1. You say she's 6'2" but only 120 pounds. You also say she's a warrior, which would suggest muscle mass—however, she's actually really underweight for her height which would suggest little to no muscle mass. A healthy woman of her height should be between 144 pounds and 194 pounds. I would strongly suggest altering her height or weight.
  2. You say under her 'facial hair' that she has a scar on her left eye, which confuses me as eye scars are not usually considered to be facial hair. You also say that the scar blinds her—which makes sense—and that it gives her a lisp, which doesn't. A lisp has to do with the way someone talks. How could a scar on her eye affect the way she talks?
  3. You say one of her motivations is "wanting her friends to die with purpose" which makes it sounds as though she wants her friends to die. Is this what you intended to convey? If not, I would suggest rewording.
  4. I love that one of her hobbies is designing houses is unusual places XD
  5. I am confused by the concept of Residuals. What are they? It says under her 'prejudices' that she is prejudiced towards them, which suggests negative feelings, but then it says under 'personality type' that she tries to cover up for her depression by saying she's "having a Residual day". If Residuals are bad and she dislikes them then why would she want to tell people she was "having a Residual day"? (Also, I am a tad confused as to why this fact is in the 'personality type' section).
  6. I'm curious as to why she thinks the people running the government are dumbasses.
  7. I love that she secretly loves pizza XD
  8. Squids are majestic creatures.
  9. Does she not know how to read and write? If she does, I would suggest putting these things under the 'education' section.
  10. What are the Winged Ones?
  11. How could she have forgotten such a traumatizing event? (When her father scarred her). Even if she did forget, why was she not told by anyone else?
  12. It kind of bugs me how similar the names Axelia and Alex are. And then there's Avery, a third A. It helps to keep names different so readers don't mix up the characters.
  13. I notice her 'family' tab is empty. Is there a reason for that?

That's about it. Good job on your character, and good luck with your story!