forum LONELY
Started by Screaming cinnamon roll
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people_alt 77 followers

@Markai_Cat

I'd officially be the worst mother ever

me too, because i'm lonely
heh

your child would make you not lonley

Garvey i am forever alone

@Yamatsu

Strap in, this one's a bit long.

In my town, which is so boring that people usually pass through to get to the other, cooler towns, there's this guy named Mike. I'm using his real name because there's about fifteen of them in the senior class alone at my high school. Mike is white, like most of us in my town. The town isn't "Ashton-Lynn and Teyshawnthony" white, but we're pretty close. Because he is a rich, white boy, his parents got him a big truck (probably a Ford or something, I can't remember). He likes to take the truck mudding because he is white and likes to do "counterry" (country with an extra syllable) stuff. One night, he decided to go mudding on the large hill in front of the high school (It's situated on a sort of man-made promontory with the road snaking up the hill and into the back parking lot. It was downpouring, making it extra muddy for Mike and his big truck to traverse. He went up and down until finally, he began to slide down. He managed to slide in such a way that his trailer hitch got caught in the pavement, preventing him from going backward. However, it was so muddy that the truck didn't have any traction.

So what do you do when it's the middle of the night and your truck is stuck in the mud on private property?

You call in the redneck, of course.

Matt (I'm using his real name because there are more Matts in my town than there are Mikes) is the resident redneck despite not having ever lived in the South. He's got an even bigger, louder, and smellier truck than Mike, and it has way more power, too. He brought along a chain to help pull the truck out, and when he hooked the two vehicles together, he pulled towards the pavement to dislodge the trailer hitch from the parking lot (we have an upper lot behind the school and a lower lot in front of the hill that's next to the sports fields). One pull, two pulls, one really long and powerful pull, and the chain snapped from the back of Matt's truck. The chain didn't break, though. Matt had managed to rip out a piece of his bumper trying to free Mike's truck. Finally, Matt decided to tie the chain to his axel and pull Mike out that way. One pull, two pulls, another really long and powerful pull. Mike yelled, "You're gonna break it!" Then, Mike's trailer hitch tore up a piece of asphalt and was freed from the mud. Both Mike and Matt sped off into the night.

So how do I know this story?

Matt got the call in the middle of the night and though Oh shit, this is hilarious! and brought along a bunch of his buddies (some of them named Mike and Matt) to watch and record the whole thing. I got to watch in Business Management while Mike was suspended for trespassing after school hours and Matt was given a few days of detention.

@Yamatsu

Alright, that's it. You need to get some pie into your system if you want to be socially accepted around here, I'll tell you what! Fruit pie, dessert pie, meat pie, chicken pie, ANYTHING at this point!

Deleted user

But–I can't…I don't have the time to get pie.

@Yamatsu

Listen, find a Harrow's near you, order one of those small chicken pies by phone, and pick it up for dinner. I'd also highly recommend getting a bag of dinner rolls to go with it, they're delicious!

@The-N-U-T-Cracker

Get me some pie while you’re at it, coconut cream preferably, but any would do.

…I’ve been in such a pie mood lately but I have to wait until next week to have any

Deleted user

I'll try to do that after school is over, because finals are coming up soon

@The-N-U-T-Cracker

I JUST TASTED SOME PIIIEEEEEE
My church is having a picnic and a pie contest tomorrow, although the whole "contest" thing is kinda dumb, my grandma's just going to win (like every year)

Deleted user

I still haven't had pie….

poor child

Lol, I'll try to get some time soon

@Yamatsu

hands you some leftover mixed berry pie with a blueberry crust that my mom made

Wait, what? What on earth does that taste like? I assume delicious, but what's the pie crust made out of?

@The-N-U-T-Cracker

I think it's just regular pie crust but with blueberry juice mixed in. The flavor doesn't change too much, it's just slightly sweeter, but it makes the crust a beautiful, purplish color

Deleted user

hands you some leftover mixed berry pie with a blueberry crust that my mom made

cautiously eats