Marianne trembled ever so slightly, aching to rest her head on the other girl's shoulder. She deserved a medal for holding back from pressing Mare against the headboard of the bed and kissing the living daylights out of her. But she was in new territory; both literally and metaphorically. She did not want a repeat of lunchtime.
(omigod I have 'Her Voice' from the little mermaid and In A Crowd Of Thousands playing while reading this this is legit a mood)
Mare stood still. She could feel Marianne's breath on her shoulder. She didn't move towards her, or lean into her. In fact, Marianne seemed to be majorly uncomfortable: she was breathing hard, tensed. Mare bit down on her lip. What the hell are you doing, Mare…
She pulled away, cursing herself, and sat at a reasonable distance from Marianne.
(lolllll)
Marianne visibly deflated from disappointment, first at the fact that Mare had moved a way, and then at herself for wanting her so badly. She decided to put herself out on a limb. "I'm not– You weren't making me uncomfortable, or anything. You don't- you don't have to worry about that."
Mare met Marianne's gaze. She tried to stop her own line of vision flicking too obviously to Marianne's lips. "I– are you sure?" Her hair fell down as as she moved and reached up to tuck it behind her ear.
Marianne could feel herself slipping into dangerous territory, so she chose her next words carefully. "I wouldn't–" she lowered her voice. "I wouldn't want you to think that just because you came out to me, I don't want to be touched by you." Her breathing stalled. "In fact, it's the opp–"
WHat are you doing, you idiot?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
"In fact– err– I don't see why that should change anything between us in the first place. I would never harbour any negative feelings towards you because of something like that."
Mare inhaled sharply. "It's just… Hard to tell. I'm never sure where the boundaries are," Mare admitted quietly.
Before Marianne could stop herself, she blurted an answer out. "It's fine– I don't really care about boundaries– I mean, whatever you're comfortable with, I'm comfortable with. You don't have to worry."
"Whatever I'm comfortable with, you are too?" she repeated. I really doubt that, Marianne. She hugged the Rose doll to her chest, and tried to tune into the TV.
Marianne nodded, turning her attention back to the TV with more than a bit of difficulty. "I'm fine with anything you are."
Mare shook her head. "I really doubt that," she muttered to herself.
Marianne didn't miss a beat, though her heart certainly did. "I'm being completely serious."
(can Mare kiss her now?)
(hell yes)
Mare stared at Marianne a moment. She crawled towards her and kissed her, pulling away quickly. "How about that?"
Marianne's eyes widened. Her heart sped up, thumping painfully in her chest, and she found herself much too tongue-tied to verbally reply. So, she threw her words aside and leaned forward to crush her mouth against Mare's.
(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH)
Mare almost fell over on impact, but caught herself on the bed frame. Not breaking the kiss, she answered with as much force as Marianne had. She set her hand on Marianne's shoulder, lightly keeping her close.
(hyperventilates)
(ASFAJGDKADGFALIF.NVA,UALJKCHB WUFglwjnkfscbewuiglfwIBUYVliutg)
Exhilaration rushed through Marianne, euphoria filling her up until she thought she would float away. Her heart squeezed painfully– but she had never known herself to be this addicted to pain.
She didn't dare pull away, only carefully prompted Mare's soft, pink lips open slightly and drew her closer.
Mare ignored all thoughts she'd been brought up to think : that this was wrong, that this was not what she was made for, that this was a phase. There was only thing she knew was important, one thing that was relevant : Marianne was here, kissing her, and it felt incredible. She let her hand float up to tangle in Marianne's hair, leaning further into the kiss.
Marianne's hands found Mare's jawline, her cheekbones, the nape of her neck. Her starving mouth pressed closer and closer, heart practically beating out the name of the girl sitting across from her.
I'm kissing Mare. Oh my god I'm kissing Mare. And I never want to stop.
Mare shivered as Marianne's hand went to the nape of net neck. She pulled out of the kiss, gasping. She didn't say a word, just ran a thumb lightly along the line of Marianne's cheekbone.
Marianne inhaled shakily, offering Mare a weak smile. She was completely stunned, stunned by the force of the kiss, stunned by the fact that are had wanted to kiss her. "I– I didn't– I didn't think–"
Mare offered a wondering smile of her own. She felt purely… Content. "That I wouldn't want to kiss you? After all those stupid slip ups?" she said breathily, running a trembling hand through her hair.
"I was the one– at the restaurant today– I was the one who brought up CPR– you didn't do anything to explicitly hint- I couldn't be sure," Marianne replied breathlessly, already lost in the other girl's dark eyes. "And- I thought you'd have higher standards than me. A prettier girl."
Mare burst out laughing. Laying down on the floor, she sighed happily. "There's no such thing."
Marianne reddened. “Yes, there is. Her name is Mare Vance.” She immediately covered her flushed face with her hands. “Oh god I’m a mess.”
"Aren't we all," Mare mused. "No wonder we were so awkward around each other."
Marianne peeked out from her fingers. “Yeah. That does make sense,” she managed, swallowing. “I- sorry- I didn’t know how to tell you.”
Mare shook her head. "Don't worry. I know it isn't easy." She fell silent before realising the show was stil playing. She reached up and shut it off. "I'm not in the mood for the Doctor anymore."
“Me neither,” she agreed quietly, taking a risk and leaning slightly into Mare’s side. “Which isn’t the only unusual thing..”
"Oh really?" Mare asked, following Marianne's movement. "I'm listening."