Alistair's mind wandered in his unconsciousness. It would fade to darkness, only for Chase's face to reappear. Chase's face, Chase's arms, Chase's blood. They consumed his subconscious. If he had been awake, he would have been crying, but instead, he was trapped in his mind with the fear that he was going to lose Chase.
Please be okay…
Mr. Goeman had dozed off when Chase woke up. He looked at his father. Wasn’t Chase supposed to be…? He felt too weak to move, so he just closed his eyes. His arms hurt. He just didn’t want to do anything anymore. His eyes started making silent tears before he could stop himself. Chase wiped furiously at them, sniffling. He just wanted it all to be over.
Alistair was in the bed next to Chase's. He woke up slowly, not long after Chase had, and looked over at his boyfriend. Chase had already settled back down, so Alistair didn't realize he was awake.
"Ch-Chase?" he murmured, voice slightly hoarse. "I know you probably can't hear me, but I need you to make it. I don't know what Kemp said, but it wasn't worth your life. I love you so, so much. You are the most precious thing in my life," his voice broke. "Please wake up soon."
Chase could contain it any more, when Alistair’s phantom voice came from behind him. Chase let out a sob, then full on cried. Alistair didn’t ever love me, it’s just my imagination. Chase only cried harder, hiccups and other small noises coming out of him every few seconds.
If Alistair hadn't felt so sluggish, he would have shot up and ran to Chase's bedside, but since he couldn't, he resorted to just turning toward him. "Chase?!" he cried with relief, wanting nothing more than to hold Chase in his arms. "Chase, love, you're awake! Oh, stars, darling, why are you crying?"
Chase looked over his shoulder, tears and snot running down his face. Why was he here? Chase could barely form the words, barely open his mouth, but he managed to get out, “Y-You c-can qu-hic- quit th-the act.” Chase buried his head back down into his pillow, sobbing harder. It was a miracle his fathe hadn’t woken up yet.
Alistair looked at him with utter confusion written over his features. "Babe, what are you talking about?" he asked, reaching out in a futile attempt to touch Chase. "What act? What's wrong, Chase?"
(This whole thing is B R E A K I N G my heart)
(I'm just quietly reading this)
Chase shied away from Alistair, “Y-You don’t h-h-have to pre-hic- pretend anymore. Y-You d-don’t have t-to -hic- J-Joey.” Chase didn’t want to talk to Alistair, he didn’t want to talk to anyone. Chase didn’t want to be the freak anymore. He just wanted it to stop.
(I’m like crying from my own character’s actions, THIS IS SO SAD)
(Whyyyyyy. I'm in the middle of math and doing my best not to sob)
Alistair forced himself to sit up and swing his legs over the side of the bed. Moving slowly, far too slowly, he went over to Chase's bed and sat on the edge. He put his hand on Chase's trembling shoulder.
"Chase, love, please, why are you crying?" he asked desperately. "I'm here for you; I just want to help, please."
“I-I said you can quit the act!” Chase shouted, though it wasn’t very loud. He looked up as Alistair with tears down his face and still in his eyes, “You-You’re making it worse. P-Please just stop, Kemp t-told me about how he w-was paying y-you and-“ Chase’s lips wobbled then he started crying again, digging his face into his blankets. Why did he even have to be alive, why did God save him? It was all so miserable.
“I-I said you can quit the act!” Chase shouted, though it wasn’t very loud. He looked up as Alistair with tears down his face and still in his eyes, “You-You’re making it worse. P-Please just stop, Kemp t-told me about how he w-was paying y-you and-“ Chase’s lips wobbled then he started crying again, digging his face into his blankets. Why did he even have to be alive, why did God save him? It was all so miserable.
Let's just ignore the fact that Mr. Goeman is in the room.//
(In salesman voice He’s a very tired man, and he’s still sleeping lol)
Alistair's heart felt like it was fracturing. He gingerly reached out and placed his hand on Chase's head. "Darling, I'm not pretending, and Kemp didn't pay me to do anything," he murmured, gently running his hand through Chase's curly hair. "If he had, would I have kissed you like I did? No, I kissed you because I love you. If he had paid me, would I have given my blood to you? No, I gave you my blood because I love you and I want to spend my life with you."
Let me just recap. Day two of high school, they had already declared their love for each other, they slept together, the whole school is basically nonexistent. One kid gets bullied to much and commits suicide, the other donates blood. The other wants to marry Chase.//
…kinda…? i guess…? idk//
Alistair's heart felt like it was fracturing. He gingerly reached out and placed his hand on Chase's head. "Darling, I'm not pretending, and Kemp didn't pay me to do anything," he murmured, gently running his hand through Chase's curly hair. "If he had, would I have kissed you like I did? No, I kissed you because I love you. If he had paid me, would I have given my blood to you? No, I gave you my blood because I love you and I want to spend my life with you."
Chase shrinked at the touch. It was too loving, too gentle. Chase looked up at Alistair hopelessly, searching for any kind of trickery. Chase sniffled, “Y-You gave me b-blood?” It was too good to be true, Kemp had told him no one would love a freak like him. It was impossible.
"Yes, love," Alistair replied softly, looking Chase in the eye. "You had lost a lot and they were out of type O blood, so I gave you mine. Why would I lie to you?"
Chase sniffed again, wiping at his face, “Kemp said that -hic- you were like Joey. Th-That he bribed you. J-J-Joey pre-hic- pretended to- to love me only to-“ Chase stopped there, tears already leaking out if his eyes again. He tugged the blanket over his head so Alistair wouldn’t see. He didn’t want anyone to see.
"Hey, shh, it's okay, darling," Alistair said softly as he carefully pulled back the blanket. When Chase's face was revealed, he reached forward and cupped his cheek gently. "I swear to you that Kemp didn't bribe me. I am your boyfriend because I love you." He wiped away Chase's tears. "I would never want to hurt you."
“B-B-But-“ Chase was about to bring up another reason why that was so impossible, but broke down, wrapping his arms around Alistair and crying into his shoulder.
(Sorry it’s so short, gtg)
(you're good)
Holding Chase's head to his chest, Alistair murmurs comforting words as he gently rocks him. "Shh, sweetheart, it's okay. I'm here. I love you so much, darling."
Chase could hear Alistair’s heartbeat. It sounded like a soft drum, setting a gentle beat. Slowly, Chase’s cried slower to an occasional sniffle as Alistair held him. Real. It was real. Chase nuzzled his head into Alistair’s strong chest, counting each heartbeat. Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump… Chase took a shaky breath then whispered his confession, “I-I tried to kill myself.”
Alistair paused for a moment, his heart aching. "I know," he murmured, resuming rubbing Chase's back. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." He gently tightened his grip on Chase, as though afraid that letting go would make him disappear.
“I thought you hadn’t l-loved me,” Chase whispered, “And I just didn’t see a p-point in l-living anym-more,” Chase dug his head into Alistair’s chest again, just trying to stop his sobs. He balled his hands in fists, clinging onto Alistair as his shoulders shook in silent sobs.
"Oh, stars, Chase," Alistair murmured, pulling back to cup Chase's face and look him in the eyes. "I love you more than life. If I had had to give all my blood so you could live, I would have." He leaned forward and kissed Chase softly before resting their foreheads together. "You are wonderful and precious, please never forget that."
(Is Mr. G ever gonna wake up? XD)
(Yeah sigh, should prolly wake him up eventually XD )
Chase’s eyes water, just because of how beautiful and sincere Alistair’s words were, “I love y-“
“Hmph,” A noise came from the left, and Mr. Goeman’s eyes flutter opened. He shot out of his seat, eyes immediately locking on Alistair and Chase, “Oh, gosh your awake!” Mr. Goeman pressed a button near Chase’s bed, Chase was sure it was something to send for a nurse, “Oh gosh, you‘re awake.” There was a moment when Mr. Goeman just looked at Alistair and Chase, a inner struggle visible on his face. He finally sighed, “Okay. Are you okay Chase?” Chase nodded his head, unsure of what to do in front of his father.
Alistair mostly ignored Mr. Goeman, still not sure of how he felt about him. He just looked at Chase, a soft, supportive smile on his face.