Barry carefully pulled her away from the toilet, holding her as if she would break at any moment. He grabbed a tissue and gently wiped away the throw up from the corners of her mouth, using soft, circular movements. “Hey, you’re okay, it’s alright, deep breaths. Come, I’ll gget you some water.”
Kasey clamped her lips shut as she leaned into Barry. If he hadn't been there, her dream would have continued on until she felt like she couldn't breath, and then she would have been alone as she threw up. But he was there for her, and he was helping her, even when she looked like crap.
Barry hugged her tightly, barely even registering the fact that he was smearing her throw up on the front of his pyjama shirt. He took her by the hand, leading her back into the room and turning on the lights. Pouring cool water into a cup, he offered it to her after sitting her down on the bed.
Kasey was still a little shaken as she took the glass. She stared down at the water for a moment before she managed to lift it to her lips and take a tiny sip.
"I hate those dreams," she whispered hoarsely.
Barry kept one hand on hers, rubbing soothing circles into her palm. “Do you- do you want to talk about it?” he asked tentatively, brow furrowed in concern. “I’m worried about you, Kase.”
Kasey started to shake her head no, but she realized that would probably just accomplish what she wanted to avoid: pushing him away.
"I have done some questionable things to do what seemed right at the time," she started quietly, her voice barely audible as she avoided Barry's eyes by staring down at her cup.
He squeezed her hand tightly. “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable with it, I promise I would never be offended. We can do whatever you want to proceed from here.”
"I have to tell you. This isn't something that I would be able to hide forever," Kasey whispered. "And I won't be surprised if you hate me afterwards…
"Barry… I've killed people. I've hurt innocent civilians, innocent children, who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time… And that's never left me.
"Nearly every night I get a dream that reminds me what I've done, but they're not always this violent. This time, there was blood… So. Much. Blood… It was everywhere. On me, on the walls, on the floor…"
Barry didn’t hesitate to wrap his girlfriend up in a huge bear hug and pull her close against his chest. “I’m so sorry, Kasey, I’m so, so sorry— I’m so sorry you’ve been through that— I’m so sorry you still experience nightmares— why on earth would I hate you? How on earth could I possible hate you?”
Kasey took a shaky breath in and pulled away slightly. "Barry… Didn't you hear me? I've killed people!" Why wasn't he upset about that?
“I heard you,” he said softly, looking her right in the eye. “Loud and clear. But the fact that you’re so devastated over it? That’s enough to show me how amazing of a human being you are. You didn’t want to kill, Kasey, I can see from your reaction right now. You’re the best person I’ve ever met— how could I ever hate you?”
At his words, Kasey just simply broke. She collapsed into him and cried again. She didn't deserve him, not at all…
And Barry held her. He held her like he was afraid she’d break, he held her like she was his whole world, he held her like the thing he wanted most in the world was to feel better.
Kasey sobbed until she had no tears left to cry, and then she just held onto Barry like he was her lifeline. He was her light in the darkness. Her North Star, guiding her home in the night.
“I’m right here, I'll always be here— I love you so much Kasey, so much,” he kept whispering on repeat, rocking her from side to side and practically crushing her in his arms.
“I don’t want to go back to sleep. I don’t want to see it again,” Kasey whispered hoarsely, her face still buried in Barry’s chest.
“Then you don’t have to, not right now,” he told her soothingly. “Here, how about I make you some tea, or some broth, and we can cuddle together or watch a movie for a little?” Eventually, he reasoned with himself, she would be too exhausted to keep her eyes open, and he could put her to sleep. But there was no use trying now, neither did he want to, whatshe had seen had shaken her beyond belief.
Kasey nodded slowly. “I think there’s some hot cocoa in the cupboard by the fridge. We could have that.”
“Can you stomach hot chocolate after throwing up?” he asked her, looking her over with worried eyes.
(G’morning!)
(Morning! How are you?)
Kasey pulled back slightly to look at him, giving him a small smile. “I can always handle hot chocolate.”
(pretty good, you?)
Barry chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, and went to make her the cocoa. When he returned bearing two steaming mugs, he sat down on the bed next to her and squeezed her hand. "How are you now?"
(I’m good. Glad that I actually got off of work at the correct time today. Lol.)
Kasey gave him a small smile as she held her mug in both hands. “I think I’ll be okay… I’m still pretty shaken up, but I’m hoping that it’ll start to fade soon.”
(lol)
"If it doesn't, let me know, okay?" Barry scooted closer and wrapped one arm around her. "I love you."
“Love you, too. And… Thank you. For putting up with me earlier,” Kasey whispered, leaning her head onto his shoulder.
"That? That wasn't putting up with you, I didn't mind at all," he reassured her softly, hugging her to his side. "Why would I mind?"
“Because I sounded crazy… All that about the blood and killing people…” Kasey said, her voice barely audible as she stared down at her mug.
(I wrote a poem for my English class. It’s amusing to me. Lol.)
(lol, what was it about?)
"If anything, you sounded scared and sorry. Not crazy. You sounded like Kasey. And nothing you said repulsed me in any way, don't think that for a moment?" He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
(…one of my cats…)
Kasey sighed and leaned into him, closing her eyes for a moment. Suddenly, she pulled away and looked down at herself and his shirt.
“Oh my gosh, we’re covered in vomit… Um…” she chewed on her lip as she stared at her shirt.
(loll, I bet it was great)
"Do you want to change?" he asked, already standing up. "I can run back to my room to grab some clean pyjamas for myself."
(My parents loved it. Lol. They both laughed.
Would you like to read it?)
“Yeah, uh. That— that sounds like a good idea,” Kasey stuttered as she stood as well. “I’ll leave the door unlocked.”