forum One-On-One (Closed)

Started October 24, 2018 by @Imperfect_Autumn group

tune

“But I’m worrying you,” he reasoned calmly, allowing her to hug him but not hugging back. “I should leave….. I’m only making you feel bad. I’m sorry.”

"Of course you're worrying me. I love you. Please don't leave… I'll only worry further," Kasey said quietly, tightening her grip almost subconsciously.

“I don’t want to make things worse for you….” The barest of emotion entered his voice, but it disappeared quickly. “I’m so sorry.”

"You're not making anything worse, Barry. I'm just concerned about you," Kasey sighed. "You don't have to apologize for anything."

Barry nodded, trying to find his voice. “When I’m angry, I go numb after. That’s what’s happening now,” he said with mild detachment.

"Oh. How– How long does it usually last?" Kasey asked, loosening her grip on him.

Barry finally responded to the embrace, leaning in and letting out a small sigh. “It depends.”

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Kasey wondered in a whisper, closing her eyes and resting her head on His shoulder.

Barry inhaled deeply, wrapping his arms around her. “You already are.. just talk to me. Random things.”

"Okay…" Kasey was quiet for a moment before she thought of something to tell him. "Um, I think Wiilow might be upset with me because I guess I've been neglecting her, but if she was really wanting to hang out she could have called or texted me, right?"

Barry nodded, closing his eyes and letting her words wash over him. “She might’ve thought she was wasting your time…” he murmured absently.

"Why would she think that?" Kasey asked softly. She was distracting herself, she knew it. She should be focusing on Barry, but she was thinking about Willow instead.

Barry was holding onto Kasey like an anchor, trying his hardest to tow himself back to a shore of emotions. "I don't know..…….. maybe she's just been busy. You should go out for lunch with her, or some sort of big outing together.. to make up for it.."

(Sorry, I was working on school.)

Kasey nodded slowly. “Yeah… That sounds like a good idea. I’ll call her later…”

(np, np)

The slightest hint of emotion peaked through on Barry's face. "Good. I don't want you to loose your best friend."

“Thanks, babe,” Kasey said softly, kissing his cheek.

Barry leaned into her touch, but he was still mostly absent. Detached. Empty. "Anytime."

“We should go out sometime… Get coffee or something,” Kasey suggested quietly.

Barry nodded, resting his head on top of Kasey's in a failed attempt to shake some emotion into himself. "Yeah, definitely. But when I can feel again. You don't deserve something as bad as a date with hollow Barry."

“I hope you can feel again soon. I want you to be able to feel,” Kasey said softly with a sigh.

"It'll happen….." he murmured, hugging her slightly tighter. "I can leave and come back when I'm a decent guy, if you want."

“No. I’ll just worry about you more if you leave,” Kasey told him.

“Oh. Sorry.” Barry averted his eyes, knowing he should feel ashamed but not being able to care. He would hate himself for it later. “I’m sorry for my awful coping strategies.”

“It’s okay, babe. I think I understand it. It’s all right,” Kasey said softly.

“But it’s not okay.” Even through the emptiness he could understand that much. “I’m not treating you like you deserve.”

"You are, Barr. By letting me help you," Kasey assured him gently.

Barry looked away again. “If you’re sure…”

"…Do you want to go back to your room?" Kasey asked, looking up at him. "Because I won't stop you if you do."

“I want to make you happy. I want to stay right here with you. But I’m not sure if those two things are possible at the same time right now,” he said honestly, an emotion finally sinking in. Self-hate.

"I will be fully happy when you can feel again. For now, though, I'm happy that you aren't physically injured. That you are here with me," Kasey said softly, tightening her arms around him.