forum “Closed to General Public.”

Started October 23, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

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Eerie looked over at Levi. What was that noise he just made?
“Are you okay, Levi?” He asked softly, leaning forward a little towards him, ready to help if he asked.

No, but when was Levi ever really okay? What he needed to do was sit up. Which he couldn't. He couldn't get up and he was stuck and oh my god what happens now? What could he do now? Asking for help was out of the question. Asking for help was a show of weakness. "I… don't know."

Eerie stood up slowly. “Do you need help?” He stepped closer, slowly. He didn’t want to upset Levi, but he also didn’t want to leave him helpless. Seeing Levi like this hurt Eerie. He wanted his husband to be well and strong, but was that really possible from where he was coming from?

Don't ask that. Why did Eerie have to ask that? Levi couldn't answer. Of course he needed help, he just couldn't bring himself to admit it. A little whine worked itself from his lips. He just looked up at Eerie with the neediest look he could manage in his eyes. Even if he couldn't say 'yes' he could try to look like he wanted help.

Eerie shifted his towel on his waist and took Levi in his arms again. He made slow work of sitting him up again. “Do you want anything to drink? To eat?” He carefully let Levi go and kissed his cheek gently. “I csn get them if you do want something.”

"Bed. Wanna go to bed." Levi clutched at Eerie, unwilling to let him go. Being alone after these episodes just made things get worse. Made him dive so deeply into his memories that when he came back to the real world he couldn't remember what had actually happened and what he had remembered. He didn't want Eerie to go away.

Eerie nodded and wrapped his arms around him again, lifting him up slowly. “Okay, bed it is. Would you like your clothes?” He walked him slowly to the door, watching him carefully, supporting the majority of Levi’s warm weight.

Oh yeah. They weren't wearing… anything. Long sleeves would be nice. It didn't matter much. "Mm-mm," Levi hummed, shaking his head. Eerie was small, small enough that Levi felt bad about leaning so heavily on him. While he was on the skinny side for a soldier, he was anything but light. His entire body felt burnt out. Numb. He wanted to lay down beside Eerie and hug and not have to deal with the world.

Eerie nodded and slowly made his way to the bar and bathroom, grabbing their clothes. “Do you wanna dress out here? Or upstairs?” He swallowed a little. He wasn’t sure why he asked this, but he wouldn’t mind helping his husband get dressed. The sooner he got Levi comfortable, the sooner Eerie would be happier.

"Our room." Levi swayed a little on his feet, collapsing onto Eerie almost entirely. Suddenly everything felt very tiring. Walking up the stairs would be like hell. Still, even though the room was far away, he'd feel better there. It was like a… safe space. A private bubble where the world wasn't allowed to intrude. Maybe he'd feel better once he was in there.

Eerie grabbed their clothes and tightened his grip protectively on Levi. “Alright, here’s the steps…” He slowly lead his husband step by step up the stairs, outside, through the kitchen and up another staircase to the rooms.
“Just down this hall,” Eerie breathed, barely hanging onto the towel around his waist, threatening to fall off of his hips. He managed to the master bedroom, shut the door, and set Levi down on the bed with a relieved sigh.

Levi sat passively on the bed. Moving around would take so much effort and Levi didn't see the point in it anyway. His towel was loose around his hips, but he didn't adjust it. His hair was tangled, but he didn't comb through it. His forehead was covered in sweat, but he didn't move to wipe it away. The world had gotten comfortably numb once they reached the room. "Thank you."

Eerie drew his arms away and handed Levi his clothes. “There you go.” He kissed Levi gently. “You’re welcome. I’m going to go change over there, okay?” He pointed over Levi’s shoulder. He didn’t want to be too far from his husband, who seemed distant and, to Eerie, unhappy.

Levi snatched Eerie by the wrist, adrenaline coursing through his veins. No. No. "No. Please." If Eerie was gone, he would see it again. He would be there again. Hanging. Drowning. Shot. Stabbed. Burnt. With Eerie gone, memories would force themselves back into his head. Memories that he wouldn't face if he didn't have to.

Eerie blinked a little, turning a slight shade of red. “B-but I have to change. You… you shouldn’t want to watch me change.” He ducked his head a little. He was not afraid to admit his body wasn’t the best. It wasn’t. He grabbed Levi’s hand in his, smiling a bit.
“But if you want me to, I’ll stay right here.”

"Don't leave me alone." Levi loosened his hold on Eerie's wrist. As long as Eerie didn't leave, everything would be fine. Eerie just couldn't leave. That was all that mattered. His shirt still sat in his lap, undisturbed by what few movements Levi had made. He knew he should put on a shit, or at least some underwear, but… he couldn't bring himself to. It would disturb the numbness he was feeling right now.

Eerie nodded and slowly took his hands back. “I’ll be right here.” He wiped the sweat shyly off of his chest and legs with the towel before throwing on a pair of underwear and his comfy shirt. He grabbed his pants, gave them a look, then tossed them away onto a chair. He sat down next to Levi, gently taking the latter’s hands again and leaning into him.

Levi just sat, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb over the back of Eerie's hand. Eerie was smooth and soft and small. Very delicate. Flora would love him if they ever got to meet. Flora had always loved pretty things. She'd abhorred all of Levi's scars. Said that war was turning him into a monster. Eerie had given different opinions. He seemed interested in Levi's scars, hadn't hesitated to run hands over them.

Eerie leaned his head close to Levi’s. “Do you want to lay down?” He whispered this softly, not wanting to disturb Levi too much. He was glad Levi had calmed down, but he seemed changed, odd. The latter was working on what he needed. What he wanted. Eerie couldn’t help prickle with happiness. He wasn’t sure why he was happy about this, but he just… was.

Levi gave the faintest hint of a shrug. Flora always called this part, the time between the memories and the nightmares, the fallout. She said he got very quiet and contemplative. Said it could be really scary because he didn't answer questions and didn't move around as much as usual. What little autonomy he had when he was fully lucid evaporated during the fallout.

Eerie put his hands on Levi’s head and hip and laid down with him slowly, wrapping the sheets around them. The best medicine for Levi, in Eerie’s opinion, was snuggles. He helped Levi get some clothes on, somewhat thankful for the sheet, of it wasn’t for the blanket he’d be as red as a tomato. Once finished with that, he leaned back into Levi and gave him a gentle kiss. He wrapped their hands together again and relaxed into the bed.

Levi let himself be kissed and snuggled. The bed was warm but the pillows were cold. Soft and smooth below his cheek. Eerie's breathing puffed along his chest and his arms were lukewarm around Levi's waist. Having a person curled around him was nice. Especially when the person was so completely alive. Every tiny shift and breath proved that this was a new day. That this was separate from his memories.

Eerie twisted his legs with Levi’s and he half-closed his eyes. He listened to Levi’s calm heartbeat, inhaling and exhaling slowly with it. He looked up at Levi and shifted up so he was on the pillows with him, instead of curled uncomfortably. He stretched out a little and relaxed, finally smiling at Levi. He looked so tired and soft, but also handsome.

Levi wished Flora were here. Flora always knew how to break him from the fallout. Flora knew how to take his answers and suss out what they meant with complete accuracy. Eerie seemed to understand him on a different level. Eerie seemed content to push him outside his norms. It wasn't as comfortable as being around his sister, but it was exactly what he needed.

Eerie booped Levi’s nose. “Get some rest, babe. I’ll see you later tonight, and we can get something to eat, okay?” Eerie, for one, was starving again but he could wait. He wasn’t going to leave Levi alone like this, wether Levi would let him or not.

(MIGHT BE KIND OF BAD)

Levi hummed in response, closing his eyes and finding rest easily. His dreams were considerably less calm than his outside demeanor. He was swimming through an ocean. There was something behind him, some dark presence, that he couldn't see but knew was there.

He was swimming from it, as fast as he could, but something grabbed his leg. And when he looked down, it was a corpse. White and bloated, with dead black eyes. Its clammy fingers clutched at his ankle and he tried to pull off the fingers. But he only succeeded in ripping the flesh off the fingers. Pale chunks fell from his hands. He wanted to barf.

Levi woke up drowning in sweat and dry heaving off the side of the bed. He coughed and gagged and fell onto the ground, retching and scratching at his throat.

Eerie’s eyes flew open to Levi’s back. The next moment he was on the floor. Eerie scrambled off the bed and to Levi’s side in a moment, pulling his hands away from his neck. He sat up Levi with difficulty and applied weight to Levi’s hands, in case he tried to scratch for his neck again. This brought them very close, but Eerie didn’t care. Eerie whispered soft ‘it’s okay’s and ‘it was just a dream’ though he wasn’t entirely sure what it was about. He just woke up to see Levi reacting to something.

Levi felt himself being moved around but he didn't really calm down until he caught a glimpse of Eerie's face and heard the soothing murmurs. If Eerie was here, then this wasn't a memory. This place was safe. Things were okay. He pushed himself up into Eerie's arms, curling into his husband as closely as he could.

Eerie took him into his arms immediately, trying to keep a leveled head himself. What if he was just making it worse, somehow, for Levi? He curled his legs around Levi’s lap and dipped his head closer to his husband’s. His hands found his hair and hips, one stroked the floofy light brown mess and the other was resting on his hip.
“I’m here, Levi. I’m here.”

(Yo dude, Levi has light brown hair, just fyi)

Shaky breaths flew in and out of Levi's mouth as he attempted to calm down. His face was squished into Eerie's chest and his hands were fisted into the fabric so tightly it was three seconds away from ripping. When Eerie spoke, Levi could feel it in his chest That fleeting movement was the most comfortable thing Levi could possibly experience right now. "You're alive."