Hi @Coby, first off of just like to say I’m really sorry about your family. Religion when handled wrong can be…. yeah. Second of all, I am going to offer you a huge virtual hug.
I’m not a professional by any means, but here’s some advice. Basically, just take it really, really slow. One tiny little rebellion at a time. If you keep this up for long enough, they could slowly start to be more open minded (slowly), and although it might try your patience, a negative response will hurt a hell of a lot less this way. If they get mad at you for something you say related to this, hit them with a strong argument. Make them question their beliefs, but like I said before, in very, very tiny amounts. Slowly. Whittle away at their resolve. Whenever you end up coming out to them, hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. If the worst happens, which it hopefully won’t, you’ll be as ready as you can, and in the best state to fight back. Your argument needs to be strong. Extremely logical. Anything lgbt+-phobic that they might say, rebut it so that they’ll get to a point where they just can’t argue any more.
When things get hard, we’re here for you we promise. We all believe in you. Don’t give up, you can win this fight. You are your parents’ child and you do not deserve to be shunned.
The one thing I have to add to this is that you should not come out yet if you feel unsafe doing so (in other words, if you feel your parents may end up disowning you, or if you think the community may cause a lot more backlash than it's worth right now.)
One of my best friends routinely wears pride clothes to school. We had this discussion today at lunch:
"Why are there no long-sleeved pride shirts?"
"Because pride is in summer?"
"Yeah, but I'm gay all year round!"
seems like solid advice… better than what my brain comes up with which is mostly vine references lol. I'll give it a shot, thank you. hopefully, it doesn't blow up in my face, we shall see.
Heyyyy so if anyone wants to help a girl out with some advice that’d be awesome.
So basically idk whether I should come out bc my family is the type who says being gay is ok but when their kid/relative is lgbt+ they’re not like super supportive?? Also so many lgbt+ phobic people (though I also know quite a few lgbt+ people). I thiiiink I’m biromantic demisexual (still working on figuring it out and all) but every time I’ve attempted to say anything to my family I’ve been shut down and told I’m straight. What do I do?? They’ve made me wonder if I’m really just confused (they went on a whole tirade about it the other week) or what. There’s also this girl I kinda like and I might have a chance (this is a huge maybe) seeing as we’re friends and all but I’m literally out to like two people (I’ve only really legitimately told one person tho haha I’m the worst). I’m worried about what people will think of me, as shallow as that is.
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
it's not shallow, I would be worried about that too. how about you drop hints from time to time, and if they don't get the message, sit yourself down at the dinner table and be like 'yoooooooooooooooooo I'm bi/demi"
That is not shallow at all. It's more of a legitimate concern. So for the parents thing, think of the worst reaction that they would have and ask yourself if you could handle that. If you do come out to them you should have a clear explanation of what your sexuality is in a way they can understand. Be clear and firm so they can't shut you down. And it's possible you're confused, but unlikely. Your feelings are legitimate and don't let anyone invalidate them, even your parents. Maybe when telling them have back up of some sorts? Like do you have any siblings that would be supportive of you, or any relatives you're close with? Or other adults or just friends who would feel comfortable being there? Idk just an idea. With the girl you like, I would say maybe come out to her (ONLY IF YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH IT), just so that she knows you're attracted to girls? I don't really have any other advice for that part. You don't have to come out if you're not comfortable with it. I hope this helps!
Thanks for the advice guys! Actually I tried to tell my sister and she made me feel really bad bc she basically said she wasn't ready to deal with having an lgbt+ sibling and I had put a huge burden on her. So there's that. Ever since I've just pretended nothing happened. Actually with that girl, I sorta told her I like girls last year and then haven't said anything else about it bc I'm awkward as heck.
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inhale
guys someone told me pans can have gender preference
inhale
guys someone told me pans can have gender preference
That's… tricky. And most likely wrong, if I'm correct in my knowledge. What exactly did they say? Because if I'm thinking of it correctly, then they may be confusing pan with poly.
2 videos I found on Asesuality/ aromanticism and thought you guys would appreciate it. alos you're the only people I have to share it with. shrugbut yeah, I like them a lot.
Poly is you can be in multiple relationships at once, and from what I've heard, if you absolutely don't have gender preference, it's usually referred to as omni?? Idk XD
Well, that wasn't really an introduction…hi? I'm here, I'm PanAce, and I'm cisfem! And totally weird :P
No no no. What I'm talking about is called Polysexual. What you're referring to is called Polyamorous. There is definitely a difference between the two, trust me on that.
Also, Polyamorous and Omnisexual are different terms too.
I wish I could watch them but they're blocked on my school's chromebook ;–;
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oof
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inhale
guys someone told me pans can have gender preference
That's… tricky. And most likely wrong, if I'm correct in my knowledge. What exactly did they say? Because if I'm thinking of it correctly, then they may be confusing pan with poly.
"All genders, but with preferences (E.g. A bi person may prefer the male sex. This is different from pansexuality, as pan. would be regardless of gender identity, so no gender/sex-related preferences)"
AYYY NEVER BEEN IN LOVE IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS
@PuffPoff
Okay is there a word for if you identify as a certain gender but really don't care about what pronouns people use for you? I'm a cis female (and I identify as female) but if people call me a dude I honestly don't care. Is that a thing that happens to other people or is it just me?
And she's so understanding and she gets it and she still likes me and she doesn't think I'm weird and I'm damn euphoric right now. Just wanted to share. EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! :D
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