Sequoia stroked some sweaty strands of hair out of Aniña's face, touch tender and soft. She was beautiful like this. Unguarded. Warm. Sequoia only wished Aniña didn't have to be in horrific pain to get there. She wondered if she could love Aniña if she were like this all the time and was surprised to find that, in time, she might. Too bad it was an impossibility.
"It means…" She struggled to find a proper translation. It was a precious name. Something reserved for people who were very close to you. Sequoia had let it slip from her lips instead of the more formal Habib Alby. It felt right, so she had kept saying it. "Heart? Shield? The translation is hard."
"S-So it's like Liran then?" Aniña whispered, reaching a shaky hand up to Sequoia's a small smile blooming on her face despite the pain, "That name feels right for you…" If she wasn't in pain she probably never would have said that. Or maybe she would have, she really didn't know anymore. But there was something deep inside her that wanted Sequoia, Aniña just hadn't admitted it to herself yet.
"I don't know that word, Habibi. I'm sorry." She grabbed Aniña's hand, picking it up and holding it over her heart. This woman was… beautiful. Sequoia could admit that to herself. And there was a certain charm to her roughness when it wasn't an annoyance. Sequoia might not be alive right now without it. "You need to survive, Habibi. I don't want you to die. You can't die." She played with Aniña's fingers, feeling self-conscious after the confession.
"B-But you hate me," Aniña could feel the sadness flowing within her, "I-If you don't want me to die then why do you hate me so much?" Her eyes were glassy, like she could burst into tears at any moment. She was the most vulnerable she had ever been in her life but… was glad that it was Sequoia who saw it.
"I…hated you. I don't now. You were… angry. Mean. You wouldn't work with me. You would break things and throw tantrums. I know you better now. You are still angry, but it is good anger. It is…fuel. You are fire. You burn brightly, Habibi." She shrugged continuing to play with Aniña's fingers. She pulled the hand up to her face, kissing Aniña's knuckles.
She hoped her wife wouldn't know the meaning around the blessing. It was a gesture of forgiveness for violence. The queen would kiss soldier's knuckles after a war to change them from soldiers back into civilians. It was… a wash from sin. It felt personal here. Sequoia didn't know why.
"There is a story," Aniña started, "In my country that was told to children. It talks about a woman who was born from a star who was called Liran. She traveled to my home, looking for help. There was a king, evil and mean and hated travelers but… he found Liran. And after years, he fell for her. For her beauty, her courage, her smartness and her kindness. She changed him for the better. The story says that everyone will find their Liran, just like the old king did," She smiled at Sequoia, "And you… you are the star that was born in the darkness and came to find me, help me become a better person."
It was an old story, one Aniña hadn't recited for years. It was an old fairy tale but somehow it fitted. Somehow the story came true.
Sequoia felt something warm and gooey settle in her chest. She felt…honored. This name- this story- was important to Aniña, and she though Sequoia of all people was worth it. It was humbling. "You think I'm… beautiful?" She asked, fixating on the one thing she could process without wanting to cry because this warrior had just told her that she was a start born into a world of darkness and all that was a bit much to think about.
"You… you are the most beautiful star I've ever seen, Liran," Aniña whispered, giving her hand a tiny squeeze, "And I… I may not remember this but I-I wanted you to know the story, and what you will, do mean to me."
"Thank you, Habibi," She whispered back. giving her hand a squeeze in return. She had mixed feelings about Aniña remembering tonight. On one hand, they were bonding. They were bonding and they were happy and they were saying the sappiest shit they could manage. On the other hand, Sequoia could feel herself pulling back her layers to talk to Aniña and she felt bare. Vulnerable. It wasn't quite pleasant. "I'm going to move you to your bed. Can you stand up?"
Aniña nodded slowly and moved so her feet more touching the floor. She tried to hide her wince at the pain that suddenly shot through her as she carefully rose from the couch. She wobbled and tipped at little to one side, having to wrap an arm around Sequoia to prevent herself from falling to the ground, "S-Sorry…"
Sequoia wrapped an arm around Aniña, holding her steady while she regained her footing. "It's fine, Habibi. I've got you." She led the girl into her room, tossing her onto the bed and tucking her under the covers as if she were a young child. "I'm going to go get my encyclopedia so I know how to take care of you. I'll be right back, Okay?"
"O-Okay." Aniña gave her a strained smile and watched her go. She suddenly felt really warm and used her free arm to wipe sweat from her brow. She kicked the covers off her body she still felt like she was burning and burning. She sat, removed her shirt and rolled onto her side, feeling a little better but not by much. All her scars were visible and normally, she would care but right now she wasn't thinking straight.
Sequoia grabbed her encyclopedia off the couch and bustled back into the room to find that Aniña had taken her shirt off. "I'm back Habibi. Why aren't you wearing your shirt?" She covered her eyes, moving through the room until she was sitting on the bed. It was only when she was mere inches away from Aniña that she noticed the scars across her neck. Before she could think about what she was doing, she ran her fingertips over one of them, a look of concerned concentration on her face.
"I got hot so I decided to take it off," Aniña replied looking up at Sequoia's face, "Why are you making that face? Like you're… worried." She asked, turning over a little more so she wasn't lying in an uncomfortable position.
"How did you get those scars, Habibi?" Sequoia sat down on the bed, paging through the encyclopedia until she found the entry for night stalkers again. Aside from the recipes for poison antidotes, there wasn't much about caring for the victim. The poison caused fever like symptoms that worsened over the course of a week until the victim was dead. Not super helpful for a first time caretaker.
Aniña swallowed and reached up to her neck, tracing the scars there, "R-Rope… almost hung." She whispered, a tear falling down her cheek. She remember the day she got those scars, as she did with all the others. What she did wrong and the punishment that followed.
(Heading to bed. Goodnight.)
"Oh, Shit! It's okay Habibi. You're okay now," Sequoia whispered, pulling Aniña into a tight hug. She was burning up. Sequoia hoped the servant would get here sooner rather than later because Aniña seemed to be unusually susceptible to the effects of the poison. "Hey, Habibi, do you need anything? Water? Food?' Sequoia needed to make sure Aniña was comfortable, even if she wasn't quite sure why she wanted to steal her away and keep her locked up in a safe warm place where she could live forever in peace and harmony.
(Night)
Aniña shook her head and buried her face in the crook of Sequoia's neck, "N-No. I'm fine, Liran… I'm fine…" She wasn't fine, clearly she wasn't but Sequoia was already doing enough for her and if she could make her wife believe even a little bit that she was getting better to make her stop worrying she'd do it.
"Okay, Habibi. Do you want me to stay here with you?" Sequoia stroked Aniña's hair and did her best to be comforting and soft. It was odd, taking care of someone. It was scary. Sequoia was holding Aniña's life in her hands, and even though she wouldn't hurt her, she could. Aniña could die anyways too if the maid got held up, or forgot what to buy, or just didn't hurry enough. She was terrified.
Aniña nodded, not quite knowing why she did what Sequoia to stay, "Yes. Yes please." She pulled back a little to just admire her. Her gaze drifted slowly over Sequoia's face, as if she was just seeing her for the first time again. Reaching up, she gently traced her jawline with her fingertips, the tiniest of smiles tugging at her lips.
Sequoia pulled back, keeping her movements slow and measured. "Can you avoid touching my face please?" Her voice seemed a little breathy. People touching her face were always appraising her, checking her value, making sure she was… perfect. It wasn't a pleasant feeling. She grabbed Aniña's hand and held it to her heart, half to keep it out of her face and half to make sure Aniña was alive and good and not going to die.
Aniña nodded and the smile faded, "S-Sorry…" She muttered, returning her gaze to her lap. Of course she did something wrong, she always did. Even in that small action she'd offened or done something to Sequoia in someway. She swallowed and let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding.
"No, no no! It's fine, Habibi. You can touch me, just not my face." Sequoia took the hand over her heart and placed it on her waist, letting Aniña feel the curve between her hips and her stomach. It felt off somehow, Aniña's hands too fever warm, burning even through layers of fabric. "See, this is fine. This is good."
Aniña looked up and nodded a little, cocking her head to the side a little as she traced the outline of Sequoia's figure, "Why… why can't I touch your beautiful face?" She asked, keeping her focus on her hand while she spoke.
Sequoia wriggled a little as she processed the praise. Beautiful. Aniña thought she was beautiful. That was… insane. Sequoia was pretty, sure, but she wasn't beautiful. Goddesses were beautiful. "No reason. I just… don't like it." She shrugged, brushing off the casual lie as she draped a hand over Aniña's hips. She wasn't as soft as Sequoia, hips flatter and body more muscular. It was a body suitable for a warrior.
Aniña nodded slowly, completely believing the lie in her state, "Okay… I'll try my best to remember so I don't hurt you…" She said quietly. She suddenly felt very self conscious of her own body when Sequoia touch it. She knew she was as beautiful as her. Sequoia was a princess. She looked and acted like one. Was raised to be one. Aniña on the other hand… she was raised to be a soldier. A warrior. Not a princess.
Sequoia felt a lazy grin drip over her face. She found herself grinning quite a lot around Aniña today. "Thank you, Habibi." She ran her hand up and down Aniña's side, not quite feeling her up. She liked the feeling of muscle under her fingers. It was reassuring. Aniña was strong. She was a survivor. She could make it through this. "You're very…harsh. Strong." She didn't know why she was saying her thoughts aloud, but they were out in the open now.
“Is that a good thing?” Aniña asked, feeling even more self conscious then she was before. She’s felt a light blush rise to her cheeks and she looked down, hoping Sequoia didn’t notice.
(Hey, I'm going to be leaving for a family dinner in, like, 5 minutes. I'll reply when I get back home.)
(Okay, I’m in school so I’ll be a bit busy anyway. See you soon!)