Halo was still there, breathing and alive. He was still silently crying, shaking his head as he holds his stomach. He sees John come back and he releases a relived sigh. He smiles weakly when he sees the other. He nods as John settles next to him.
John furiously scared the woods together. Just gotta get the right angle… Smoke started to rise up, and John scraped faster. Just… a little… more… The tinder caught a little, and suddenly a small flame was born. He quickly gathered the tinder, setting sticks on it to catch. John looked at Halo with agony in his eyes about what he was about to do, “You need to brace yourself. This will hurt, love.” It’s better than if Halo bled out to unconsciousness… if the other was too weak… John doubted the beast would hesitate to come out at night.
Halo watches as John creates a fire and his eyes widen in fear. Oh no… nonononono! Not fire! He whimpers, shaking his head, "J-john! No!" He manages, choking on fear. He didn't want that. He wasn't going to deal with this. He shifts and shakes his head, "No! Please John! Please no!" He sobs. He was terrified of fire. Especially… He blinks back the memory, whimpering nervously. He didn't want it.
John cried, he cried so hard. He couldn’t look Halo in the eyes. He would never be able to look the other is the eyes again. John promised it to himself, that he’d never marvel at those glass eyes again after doing this to the guardian. I’m a monster- John took the flaming sticks and pressed them against Halo’s wound, using his other arm to hold the angel down. His vision was blurred by tears now, but he made sure to put the fire in the right spot.
Halo bit his lip, watching John cry. He didn't want this, he didn't want it at all. But he needed to do it for John. He cries out, his eyes going wide as his skin burned. He holds onto the ground, shaking his head and sobbing loudly. It hurt. It hurt so much. When everything was said and done, he slowly sits up, wincing in pain before gently kissing John. Tears slowly slip down his face as he doesn't dare let go of the other.
John was caught off guard by the kiss, pulling away after a moment in surprise, “I-I-“ He was too shameful to look Halo in the eye, so he looked at the ground, at the tiny fire that was burning itself out. He stood up, turning away from Halo with shaking shoulders of silent tears. John took a shaky breath, “I hurt you.”
Halo starts when John pulls away, watching as he looks down. He raised a hand to gently caress Johns cheek but pulled back when John stood. Halo looks at him in concern, a fear grabbing at his chest. He looks at John in concern. "J-john?" He calls softly. He knew what John had to do what was necessary, but he was acting strange. "You had to do what was necessary." He whispers.
“But I hurt you,” John bit out, looking at his hands. They were literally covered in Halo’s blood from when he had put pressure on the wound, “I couldn’t protect you, then I hurt you.” He sniffled, then choked on a sob. Something was broken inside him, something that couldn’t be pieced together again this time.
Halo slowly and weakly stands, stumbling, but hugs John as he does so. He rests his head in the crook of John's neck. "For a good reason. You had to heal me didn't you?" He replies softly. He didn't want to see John like this. It hurt him more than any physical pain. "And my job as a guardian is to make sure you live." He whispers.
John held on tightly to Halo, trying to keep him steady yet not touch the other’s still recovering wound, “I-I won’t forgive myself, no matter what reason I had, I hurt you,” John stifled another sob onto his hand, clamping his eyes shut.
Halo just holds the other, his eyes closing. He didn't dare let John go. "I love you." He whispers softly, just sitting there with the other in his arms.
“Why would you love a monster like me?” John bit out, as if in remembrance of their moments in the cave. As if in mourning. As if trying to scramble to pick up broken pieces, but just cutting your hands.
Halo tilts his head up at John. He cracks a smile before chuckling softly. "Oh John." He whispers faintly. "You, a man I admire, adore, and love a monster? You're a soldier. A fighter. I am a guardian. If it means getting injured I'll do what it takes. I love you. I want to help you. I want to love you. Keep you safe. Just as you have done for me. You healed me. In more ways than one."
“But-But-“ John tensed up, tears spilling out of his eyes, “I can’t stand to see you in pain, how could I possibly look you in the eyes after I forced pain upon you?” He stared at the remnants of the fire, little ashes floating over the ground. John should’ve never done that, he had underestimated the pain it would bring Halo.
Halo's eyes grow concerned as he gently lifts up John's chin, "Easy. John, you did it to help me." He wipes away John's tears, his eyes soft and loving. He holds the other close, just standing there. He loved John very much, and seeing him like this brought Halo pain. He smiles softly, kissing the other gently, shutting his eyes. He was John's guardian. But he was more than that. John was someone he wanted to love and protect.
John still didn’t meet Halo’s eyes, not even when the other touched his chin. When Halo kissed him… Something still felt empty about it, something was lost. John had pushed himself so far down, he couldn’t find a way back up. He couldn’t find the ember that he and Halo had at one point shared. He broke away dejectedly to say emotionlesly, “We should get moving, if you feel up to it. The only thing stopping that beast is the sunlight, and nightfall will come eventually.”
Halo looks at John with a broken heart as he pulled away. John hadn't kissed back, he had pulled away. There was no emotion to him. He felt his heart shatter, looking down to the ground, he bites his lip, trying his hardest not to cry. There was no spark in John. Nothing. Halo could feel it. Did John not want him anymore? Was he a burden? A strip of black runs down Halo's pure white hair. The pain of a broken angel. It was a destructive thing, eventually killing a fallen. "Yeah. Let's go." He says quietly, walking past John.
(I’m internally screaming)
John followed wordlessly behind Halo, but his eyes caught on the guardian’s hair. It's because I hurt Halo -he had just been hiding his anger or sadness. It probably shown through angel’s hair. John wished he could just rip himself apart, tear out that part of him that had hurt Halo. He raked his nails down one arm without thinking twice, leaving red irritated lines of skin. It felt… good. Better. Like getting dealt a deserved punishment.
Halo stumbles a little, clutching his stomach, but keeps moving. He was crying silently. He wasn't wanted by John anymore. That meant he had no purpose. An angel without a purpose could die in the matter of weeks. His broken heart couldn't feel a thing, only a resounding pain in his chest, a hurt look in his eyes as he walks. He flutters his wings, but felt no power in them. Like him, they were quickly fading into nothing. He didn't dare look back at John, his heart throbbing at the mere thought. But he was bound to John. He still had to protect him until his dying breath.
It felt like every step made John -not physically- farther away from Halo. He glanced at his longsword -the sword he should’ve done something with before Halo got hurt- then back to his arm. No, you shouldn’t- Just a tiny cut, on the inside of his wrist. Barely noticeable. But if felt a world’s amount of better, if only for a second. Punishment. John had hurt Halo, and he deserved just as much pain.
Halo was quiet, his glass like orbs hidden from the world. He felt numbness and throbs of pain. But every other emotion had left him. He holds his arms. It was only a little while ago that Halo was in John's strong arms, safe as could be, hidden from the world. He heard a crack of footsteps and calling. Halo knew exactly who it was. It was Johns men, searching for him. Their job was to find their captain before hunting Halo. Halo bowed his head. "Sneak back into your camp. Grab clothes and show up. They can't know you were with me." He mutters.
“What about you?” John asked hesitantly, keeping his attention in the direction of the voices. Halo wants me to leave, he wants me to get out of his life, it’s all my fault- John cut himself lightly again in attempt to keep in his tears. He was so lost, and he couldn’t find his way back alone. John clenched his fists slightly, closing his eyes for a second before squaring his shoulders. He could just fake it.
"I'll hide again." Halo says softly. "I'll still be around, keeping you safe." He whispers. He walks to John, placing a gentle hand on his cheek. Even if it killed him, he had to do it one last time. He gently kisses John before pulling away. "I love you." He croaks before turning heel. He begins to walk away from the voices. Walk away from John.
John reached out weakly, but Halo had already turned away. His hands began to shake again, and silent tears poured down his face. Halo hates me, it’s all my fault- “I-I love you Halo,” He responded weakly, turning away too as his shoulders were racked with sobs he kept in. John forced himself to take a step. Then another. That kiss… It’d be the last one. The last thing to ever cherish.
Halo sobs softly into his hand before he stretches out his wings and flies into a tree branch, perching there. He didn't know what to do. Another strip of black runs down his hair as he does so. He curls up, shivering. Missing John's warmth. He wasn't wanted. Needed anymore. He sighs and places his head in his knees. "I love you." He whispers into the night.
John walked like a zombie, emotionless and feeling empty. It wasn’t too long before his men found him, all of them extremely worried and wondering where he had been. John didn’t answer their questions, he only silently cried. The men brought him back to camp, where he didn’t talk. At one point he just cried harder when an official brought up if he’d seen the ‘monster’. John didn’t want to be a Captain of the army, he wasn’t fit for the title anyways. So he cried himself to sleep that night, a comrade by his side the entire time. He could answer question the next day. And John decided he wished he wouldn’t wake up.
Halo flies down into the camp, his eyes dark. He walks into the generals camp, his eyes cast down. "I would like to turn myself in." He whispers, looking up. "I was the monster on the battle field. I was the one healing the other side. I do not wish for any blood to be shed except my own." He says, looking up.
Swords were drawn immediately when Halo entered camp. The general sneered, “You’re the demon they had been talking about… Why are you turning yourself in?” One of the unsaid rules of the army, everything comes with a price. So it was natural for the general to immediately assume trickery.
Halo looks up, pain in his eyes. "I simply want no more war." He says quietly. He looks at the swords and takes a breath. "Just please." He says softly, shaking his head. He takes a breath and looks at the army. "I don't want ant more war." He breathes.
“And what did you do to John? And how do we fix him?” A younger soldier piqued up, but the general let it slide. Most of them were concerned for the captain, he hadn’t spoken a words since the others had found him. It wasn’t natural for Captain Ford to act like that, surely something had happened.